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#1 of 89 Old 07-14-2006, 11:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi everyone--

I am going to be giving a talk in August to a group of family physicians about giving parenting advice. Short of doing something more formal, I'm hoping to collect some examples of the terrible advice that people receive from (1) their physicians and (2) parenting books. I'm especially interested in advice related to babies, as this will be the focus of this particular talk.

Obviously the advice from physicians doesn't need a citation, but if you can share a reference for book-advice, that would be great.

The more horrible, the better...this is a fairly mainstream crowd I'm pitching to. The main point I want to make is that their patients are going to be getting a lot of advice which (hopefully with my help and my sneaky AP agenda) I can help them contradict.

Thanks!
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#2 of 89 Old 07-14-2006, 11:38 PM
 
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physicians

I have personally heard a pedi say that a woman made her baby sick to the point the baby was hosp, cause she would NOT stop bf when he told her to give formula cause the baby had jaundice (sp)


Im sure I will think of more, that just came to mind, just watched the 20/20 thing on breastfeeding.
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#3 of 89 Old 07-15-2006, 01:04 AM
 
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Our first ped with DD advised me to quit nursing her at 12 months. Why? Because BM holds absolutely no nutritional value after that age and I would be scarring her for life by "abusing her" by "forcing her on the breast".

And this was coming from ped that was aware that she has/had severe reflux and was starting to show signs of FTT because of an oral aversion and an inability to deal with most foods.

Another one of my favorite bad advice stories......both my children are allergic to penicillin. They were still given a vax containing it because "only children severely allergic will react". My DS broke out in a light rash that did go away after about 24 hours. My DD though, had a huge lump on the side of her leg for almost three months. Preliminary diagnosis was that the nurse *might have* missed the spot and injected the vax incorrectly. Later, we learned that it could have been a reaction to the penicillin itself.

Then there was the "You HAVE to circ a boy because of the health benefits". I really loved having the hospital staff discuss this with my DH only because I had made it aware that I wasn't totally convinced that it was the best decision (even though, I remained uneducated enough at the time to allow DH the final say...it still made me madder than a hatter to see the staff talk to my DH exclusively about it since they were aware that he was on board with them)

When my DD was born, she didn't know how to suck properly. I had put down "no formula" on all the forms that I was given. Why did they try bottle feeding her every feeding BEFORE bringing her into nurse? And then tell me "Some babies never learn how to nurse and prefer the bottle and formula because its easier for them to suck on and easier for them to digest". When I finally talked to the hospital lactation consultant about our trouble bf'ing, she AGREED with the staff that maybe I should just stick to the bottle since it would be "easier" on all us.

Happy to announce that DD is still nursing at almost four years old and never had another bottle after she left the hospital.
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#4 of 89 Old 07-15-2006, 01:11 AM
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From a physician: That my breastfed 2 mo. was "too fat" and needed to be given water instead and not fed as often. (I ignored that advice, obviously)

Also routine infant circumcision is horrible advice spewed by lots of doctors.

"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
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#5 of 89 Old 07-15-2006, 01:18 AM
 
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OMG, above post reminded me..



erhrhr, this pisses me off..

My first born, at the age of 2 was circed.. why you ask..
Cause I was told by a UROLOGIST that I HAD TO CIRC OR HE WOULD HAVE LIFE LONG PROBLEMS..

two weeks later I found out that penil adhesions are completely NORMAL for a 2 yr old..

I hate hate hate that man!
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#6 of 89 Old 07-15-2006, 01:26 AM
 
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My sons teeth were already decaying when they broke thru the skin at age 4months.... The dentist advice was to stop nite nursing and give him flouride.
He wouldnt listen when I told him that overnight nursing DIDNT cause the decay, that they were bad when they broke thru the gums....
He tells me I am mistaken, that he teeth werent bad and that I needed to stop night nursing immediately....

Well I didn't listen to him. My oldest also had bad teeth (both look just like my husband, who will be getting dentures soon at the age of 22. (no drugs, just bad genes, his father is toothless also))My middle child is my twin and her teeth are PERFECT.... So its genetic and the dentist wouldn't hear of it...
Why don't they listen???

mother to E-(8).... A-(6) .... & N-(5)
Vivian Claire born 3-11-10.... ...still an , extendedmomma :
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#7 of 89 Old 07-15-2006, 02:40 AM
 
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If he's crying, let him be. He needs to learn to self soothe. (this said to me when ds was 3 mos old and not sleeping through the night.... Bah!!!!).

Stop nursing at 12 mos because there is no nutritional value to BM after 12 mos (what? It magically changes into something bad for you on the child's 1st b'day??).

Co-sleeping is dangerous. (huh??????????)

Needless to say, we're not with that ped any longer.
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#8 of 89 Old 07-15-2006, 03:12 AM
 
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So far, my doc has just said to start letting DS cry himself to sleep at 4 months. Um, sure, ok.

Please, please, please bring up the circ thing and that they shouldn't recommend it but tell every parent they counseling that it is NOT recommended!!! I am still convinced if I hadn't found mothering, my son would be circed.
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#9 of 89 Old 07-15-2006, 03:37 AM
 
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Do not let your newborn fall asleep at the breast or she will learn to "use you as a pacifier." That was from a hospital maternity nurse.

Oye Yemaya oloto
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#10 of 89 Old 07-15-2006, 03:44 AM
 
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My dr advised me to circ, said it was the best thing spouted all that 'infection' crap and then said "I performed a circ on a 30-something year old man a couple weeks ago because of infections. Really, you want it done NOW not when he's 30." *smile* So James is circ'ed.

Other advice...Breastmilk is not nutrionatly sound after 9 months, all breastfed babies get jaundise (except for my son apparently). Colustrum isn't enough, you have to supp with formula. If babies nurse for more than 15 minutes they are just using you as a pacifier.

Renae wife to J :, Mama to 4.5y/o J-bird and 2y/o A : and E coming in late Dec/Early Jan. My husband had a living donor kidney transplant! :
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#11 of 89 Old 07-15-2006, 03:53 AM
 
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Rocking your baby to sleep, walking your baby to sleep, nursing your baby to sleep, are all "accidental parenting" - The Baby Whisperer, Tracy Hogg.

Breastfed babies need supplemental vitamins, but formula fed babies don't because the extra vitamins are included in the formula.
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#12 of 89 Old 07-15-2006, 10:24 AM
 
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That allowing my 6 day old infant to stay on the breast for an hour at a nursing session was WAY too long. I was to BF for NO LONGER than 30 minutes and then give her a bottle of formula. If I did not do this I was starving her brain of the nutrients it needed and would be doing her great harm.

side note: I said no and he called CPS and we were investigated.

Sarah
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#13 of 89 Old 07-15-2006, 10:36 AM
 
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From a doctor in a mostly rural area: "There is no nutritional value in breastmilk after the first 2 months.":

The LC in the same hospital thinks there is no benefit to nursing past 11mo, and all kids should be weaned by then (because hers were). And she only wanted to talk about pumping and latch issues with me, even though my ds was 13mo and I was a sahm. (I had gone to a breastfeeding support group since I was new to the area... I was the only one there).

From another one in a different rural area (who I KNOW doesn't have kids): "Put them in their crib, close the door. Let them cry. They need to learn to get to sleep on their own!" Advice for babies, btw,

A friend was told she had to start giving solids at 4mo (despite current recommendations), even though she had a nice round healthy baby. All because bm obviously isn't as good as powdered cereal, and they can't possibly get all the vitamins/nutrition they need without real food. :

Nurses after I gave birth: "Oh honey, you only need to feed him ever 1.5 hours. Otherwise he's just using you as a pacifier. Oh, and here's a pacifier if he cries." And when they finally forced me to let them take ds for his hearing test and so that I could "rest" (they threatened not to release us), they gave my 100% bf baby a FULL bottle of formula to "get him to sleep".

Ferber's book (a *lovely* gift from a friend once she found out we co-slept) said something to the effect that if you co-sleep it's because of your own pyschological wierdness...either you are putting feelings normally reserved for your spouse onto your kid, or you are trying to put a wedge in between yourself and your spouse. (I can't remember anymore because I was so angry I threw the book away, something I usually never can bring myself to do!).

Kristen
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#14 of 89 Old 07-15-2006, 10:44 AM
 
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physician said at our 3 day old appointment i only need to nurse every 3 hours; to just bounce her up and down and walk with her until the 3 hours are up.
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#15 of 89 Old 07-15-2006, 10:58 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tiffany21074
physician said at our 3 day old appointment i only need to nurse every 3 hours; to just bounce her up and down and walk with her until the 3 hours are up.
As if that would even work : sheesh...some drs are idiots

My worst advice would be that holding your newborn/infant too mcuh will spoil them

Aron Mama to 6 homeschoolers -- 12, 10, 8, 5, 3, baby

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#16 of 89 Old 07-15-2006, 11:18 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJamie
Rocking your baby to sleep, walking your baby to sleep, nursing your baby to sleep, are all "accidental parenting" - The Baby Whisperer, Tracy Hogg.


Just call me an "accidental parent"
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#17 of 89 Old 07-15-2006, 11:37 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJamie
Rocking your baby to sleep, walking your baby to sleep, nursing your baby to sleep, are all "accidental parenting" - The Baby Whisperer, Tracy Hogg.

This reminds me that I read something similar in What to Expect The First Year....... that you should never rock your child to sleep. What an experience you would be robbing yourself of if you never rocked your child to sleep! That is absolute heaven.

"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
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#18 of 89 Old 07-19-2006, 03:19 AM
 
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When DD was 3 months old a health visitor told me that if I didnt start her on solids soon she wouldnt learn to talk!

Well we ignored that advice and bf exclusively till she was 12 months. Now she is almost 3 years and can talk very well. In fact she hardly ever stops talking!
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#19 of 89 Old 07-19-2006, 11:13 AM
 
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Per a doctor...
A child who is not eating 2 jars and 2 servings of cereal per day by 6 months is going to have oral motor delays and will have great difficulty learning to eat.
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#20 of 89 Old 07-19-2006, 11:36 AM
 
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What I have heard from pediatricians mirrors much of what has been discussed here. I would STRONGLY suggest that pediatricians sit in on ANY kind of breastfeeding class at least once a year--or an LLL meeting.
But I, too, have heard the old: give the baby formula if they are a little jaundiced. And: what's with you mothers thinking that breastmilk is the only thing a baby should be consuming at birth (from a NURSE after baby came home from the hospital). :
They truly should be educated on the fact that mother's milk is best (unless there are issues that don't allow breastfeeding--and those are not the norm) and that with the obesity epidemic they should be counseling women (and providing phone numbers of LLL meetings and LCs) on how to get help with breastfeeding.
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#21 of 89 Old 07-19-2006, 12:12 PM
 
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This cracks me up--my older ds HATED rocking. Rocking chairs, gliders, being rocked in arms. He would just scream bloody murder. My mil and and gmil would walk and rock and sit and rock as he screamed and screamed, insisting I let him get overtired and he needed to cry it out. Yet if fil just held him on the couch (no motion) he would conk right out--or if someone put him down, he would conk. Or if I nursed, he would conk.

Now he's 6 and he HATES any kind of spinning ride (other than a big carousel). Big spins, small spins, ferris wheels.

Quote:
Originally Posted by A&A
This reminds me that I read something similar in What to Expect The First Year....... that you should never rock your child to sleep. What an experience you would be robbing yourself of if you never rocked your child to sleep! That is absolute heaven.
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#22 of 89 Old 07-19-2006, 12:27 PM
 
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I have a similar story, and a happy ending. My eldest was absolutely huge (14lb at birth, gained upwards of a pound a week) and I was, unsurprisingly, advised (by my health visitor) that I was feeding him too often, should put him on a 4 hour schedule, bottle of water, blah blah blah. BUT because we had breastmilk jaundice he was still yellow at 9 weeks old and so we were referred to the hospital to see a consultant paediatrician- who was absolutely fantastic. He spent ages telling me how good breastfeeding was for Alex, how well he was doing, how alert and thriving he was, got excited when he elicited a giggle- you know, all those things a mother loves to hear. I had gone in expecting a fight- to hear that I either needed to wean him for 48 hours so we could see if his color improved, or that he needed to be on formula rather than bottle full stop- and got none of this.
I did get one piece of advice though.
Never dress a jaundiced baby in yellow
So yep, it's no help for your purposes, but felt the need to share.

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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#23 of 89 Old 07-19-2006, 12:31 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by A&A
Also routine infant circumcision is horrible advice spewed by lots of doctors.
Yes! Please bring up that one! In my case, the advice to circumcise actually came from a group of retired nurses who I worked with.

They also told me that I would need to retract his foreskin at every cleaning. This is horrible, damaging advice that, if this board and my real life experiences are a good indicator, gets passed out by doctors and nurses WAY too frequently. Definitely a good one to bring up.
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#24 of 89 Old 07-19-2006, 12:35 PM
 
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I, too, have heard the old: give the baby formula if they are a little jaundiced.
: Boy, I am so grateful EnviroBaby was born in a hospital that told me breastmilk was very important to his recovery from jaundice! They were giving him IV fluids, too, and because of the light therapy they limited the time he spent nursing, but when it WAS nursing time they wanted him to nurse. They did at one point tell me to go to my room and sleep thru one feeding, and I thought that was one of these examples of hospitals pushing formula, but after some discussion I decided they had legitimate concerns about MY health--I'd been awake for 20 hours, was still in pain from the birth, and was beginning to shake--and might be right that I needed some rest to bring in the real milk. They were right.

I chose doctors carefully, in a city where there are lots to choose from. The only bad baby-care advice I've gotten was to put petroleum jelly on his irritated and blistery-looking (intact) penis--made it worse! But the cause of the problem was unclear to the doctor, and he admitted it, so it's not like he said that was certain to work.

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#25 of 89 Old 07-19-2006, 02:08 PM
 
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From a community healthcare worker (we got home visits every three months because we were on WIC and State health insurance) : I had to give my then 9 month old dd meat or she would never get enough protein.
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#26 of 89 Old 07-20-2006, 10:01 AM
 
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To "run don't walk" to the bookstore to buy the Ferber book. She should be sleeping through the night by three months. This advice for my dd who had a difficult time nursing and gaining weight early on.

To give my slightly underweight 6 month old pediasure instead of bm.

To retract my son's penis at an early age to clean. The doctor retracted very early on and he cried. I could kick myself for not knowing any better.

Don't even get me started on the terrible OB that delivered my first dd.

I've got to say though, overall the people in the medical field that I have dealt with have been pretty good. We worked a bit with a wonderful nurse and lactation consultant early on when we were having bf issues. I was ready to give up and might have if it wasn't for her.

hth
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#27 of 89 Old 07-20-2006, 12:48 PM
 
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I've posted about this before.

First of all being berated to stop bottle nursing my baby after one year of age. Despite the fact that she arrived severely malnourished and below the 3rd percentile on growth charts. I pointed out that the two bottles of whole mild she took every evening constitued a reliable and significant part of her protein/caloric intake, and also that adoption literature strongly advises continuation (or even reinstatement) of bottle or breast feeding as part of the bonding process with the child.

Doc says, "well at least switch her to skim milk from whole milk then".

Um...why?

"Because there is such a problem with obesity in the United States."

Did I mention that my baby - 13 pounds at 13 months of age - was not even ON the growth charts?

Talk about one-size-fits-all medical advice. Moron.
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#28 of 89 Old 07-20-2006, 02:05 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by A&A
This reminds me that I read something similar in What to Expect The First Year....... that you should never rock your child to sleep. What an experience you would be robbing yourself of if you never rocked your child to sleep! That is absolute heaven.
:

I tell all my new mom friends the same thing.

TripMom . . . . . loving mom : to DS (7) and BBG (4.5)
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#29 of 89 Old 07-20-2006, 02:06 PM
 
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My personal favorite is from a senior ped in our very respected practice group . . . . . . "Babies don't have pain when they teethe"

:

TripMom . . . . . loving mom : to DS (7) and BBG (4.5)
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#30 of 89 Old 07-20-2006, 02:23 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TripMom
My personal favorite is from a senior ped in our very respected practice group . . . . . . "Babies don't have pain when they teethe"

:
OMG was that supposed to be a joke???
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