|Originally posted by Cloverlove
I would probably only "loan" stuff I didn't care about getting back-especially since you don't know them that well and are semi-trying for another.
I totally agree with Cloverlove. They live an hour away, you only recently got into contact with your cousin, and their (your cousin and the partner) relationship is not set in stone. They could break up or move away or anything and you are stuck putting out big money to rebuy all that baby furniture, stuff, clothes! I would feel very differently if it was your sister or best friend. I would only loan stuff you don't want back. It is not your responsibility to loan your cousin all your baby stuff.
If you do decide to loan them your stuff, I would (nicely) make it very clear that you definitely want it all back if you get pregnant again. I don't think that is rude at all - what I hate more is people giving you hand me downs but not telling you what to do with them after you are done. Do you want them back? Can I give them away to other friends? Garage sale them?
I like the idea of letting her pick what she wants. I have been given huge boxes of things that I didn't want - or just wanted a few things out of the many - then am stuck storing it until after the baby would be grown out of it. Ugh!
I don't have the room to store other people's used clothes, etc. then remember who it belonged to and get it back to them later. What a hassle. I am sure they were trying to be nice but if I didn't ask for it, maybe I don't want it? Maybe I have a different style/taste than them, maybe my child was born in a different season or is the other gender? Maybe I just have a weird thing about used clothes?
Sometime when you are together for a visit, I would just ask her if she wants to borrow your (whatever) to use for her baby. If it was me, I would let her know she could let me know later if she wanted - not put her on the spot. It is hard to tell someone "no, I don't want your crib, baby clothes, etc." - seems rude somehow. If you tell her to let you know later if she needs it, it gives her some time to think it over and make a decision and find a nice way to say "no thank you" if that is what she decides.