tribe for large families/mamas of many kids? - Page 13 - Mothering Forums
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#361 of 419 Old 08-13-2008, 02:02 AM
 
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I'd love to hear about the bigger van options
10 Passenger Dodge Sprinter here. I love it. Much more comfortable than the E-series and similar vans, plus it's a disel and gets much better gas mileage.
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#362 of 419 Old 08-13-2008, 02:12 AM
 
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We are adding #5 :

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#363 of 419 Old 08-13-2008, 08:23 AM
 
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Just looking to see if anyone has flown with their group or been to DisneyWorld?

Michelle: wife to J, mom to M (2001), E (2003), C (2005), S (2007) and O! (2009) And someone new in 2011!
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#364 of 419 Old 08-13-2008, 11:21 PM
 
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Susan, My #4 was added last November. It's not been as easy as I thought it would be! But now Lachlan is nearly 9 months and getting very mobile and it's actually gotten easier on me. He was a clingy baby until now. Now he will entertain in the walker with his brothers around him, he will self entertain around the house a lot, etc..

I think once he gets past the baby baby stuff (though I will dearly miss it!!!!) things will be a lot easier.

PS: Other moms seem to do better than I do sometimes as I have chronic pain issues and low patience. Seems like they do anyway. My advice is, if you don't feel done, go for it! DH says we're done now...

Almost a b-ball team: : Taylor -14, Alex -11, Jack -8, Lachlan born at home 11/15/07
"Well behaved women rarely make history"
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#365 of 419 Old 08-15-2008, 01:53 PM
 
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I've got a question for you mamas..did you KNOW you wanted a large family?If so,was it something you ALWAYS knew or were you back and forth or what?What's it like having lots of kids?
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#366 of 419 Old 08-15-2008, 03:28 PM
 
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I've got a question for you mamas..did you KNOW you wanted a large family?If so,was it something you ALWAYS knew or were you back and forth or what?What's it like having lots of kids?
Good question. I'll be interested to read others' replies. As for me, yes, I always knew I wanted to have a big family. Even as a child I would tell people I was going to have 5 kids. (I have 4 of my own & I raised my nephew, so there's my 5!)

And what it's like to have a big family ........ :::::

Happy mama of four Wild Things
"And now," cried Max "let the wild rumpus begin!"
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#367 of 419 Old 08-15-2008, 05:40 PM
 
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I have always known that I wanted a large family, as well.

From as early as 12 (that I know of, it could have been earlier) I knew I wanted a dozen children. And after birthing number nine, I am still willing to take a dozen. I love children. I love the controlled chaos, the noise, the giggles, the joys. For every con, there are at least a dozen pros!

And having children of all ranges, from newborn to adult, I have a fairly good grasp of what is involved. And I have no regrets.

And although I am "getting up there" in age (hey, I AM almost 38) I don't feel old and would still love more children.

Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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#368 of 419 Old 08-16-2008, 12:37 AM
 
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I've got a question for you mamas..did you KNOW you wanted a large family?If so,was it something you ALWAYS knew or were you back and forth or what?What's it like having lots of kids?
I always knew I wanted a large family. Never back and forth about it. I have four now and that doesn't feel large to me.

Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
13yo ds   10yo dd  8yo ds and 6yo ds and 1yo ds  
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#369 of 419 Old 08-16-2008, 01:39 AM
 
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I married into a big family. My husband had three and I had one, then we had one together. ALL BOYS. After a while It really doesnt seem like that many to me. Don't get me wrong, were a sight to see at the grocery store, Me with a baby in my arms and four crazed boys all 8 & under running around the two topped off shopping carts were pushing, but after a while they just blend. Sometimes I even have to count cuz i can't tell if they are all there or not - 1, 2, 3, 4..... 5? 5!? where is 5!?- Oh wait, here he is. So far we haven't permanently lost anyone so we gotta be doin something right.

People always ask us 2 things-

1. You were trying for that girl huh?
2. So...are you DONE yet, or are you planning more?
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#370 of 419 Old 08-16-2008, 10:20 AM
 
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I've got a question for you mamas..did you KNOW you wanted a large family?If so,was it something you ALWAYS knew or were you back and forth or what?What's it like having lots of kids?
I always wanted 3 kids because I had 2 sisters.

Michelle: wife to J, mom to M (2001), E (2003), C (2005), S (2007) and O! (2009) And someone new in 2011!
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#371 of 419 Old 08-16-2008, 12:39 PM
 
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I had one brother who hated me and I think that made me want more children. Often I thought of 4.

Years ago when I had TWO, I thought I was done. Ooops! We had a third. Then I wanted a fourth. Now DH is DONE though I sometimes think in another three years I could adopt..

However, 3 older boys and one baby is currently whooping my patooty.

Almost a b-ball team: : Taylor -14, Alex -11, Jack -8, Lachlan born at home 11/15/07
"Well behaved women rarely make history"
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#372 of 419 Old 08-16-2008, 01:09 PM
 
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I've got a question for you mamas..did you KNOW you wanted a large family?If so,was it something you ALWAYS knew or were you back and forth or what?What's it like having lots of kids?

I always wanted at least 3 kids.....then number 4 came along...then number 5 : and now we are expecting #6! I only had my brother growing up for 16 yrs, then my mom remarried and finally gave me 2 more siblings . I wanted my kids to all grow up together instead of a 16 yr gap between them. Don't get me wrong, I have a very close relationship with my sister & youngest brother despite the 16 & 18 yrs difference, it just would have been nice to have them when I was much younger too! My DH comes from a family of 3 with 2 more siblings added on when he was older too.....so we both kinda came from bigger families & knew how much fun they could be.

Although I do think that with #6 we will be reaching our limit for now

Dana
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#373 of 419 Old 08-16-2008, 01:44 PM
 
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Hi, I have 9 soon to be 10 and I think people just gave up on commenting me on when Im going to stop by now


now they come to me for advice with their questions
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#374 of 419 Old 08-16-2008, 02:40 PM
 
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4 here. as soon as I met dh I wanted to give him lots of babies. I wanted 6, but fertility issues have slowed our progress, and now baby 4 is kicking my tooshie as well. We leave it up to the Universe to give us more or not. as for what it is like..... loud messy and slightly overwhelming mixed with joy exuberance and bliss.

homebirthing,,homeschooling intactalactivist mom to 3dd jumpers.gifand 2dsbouncy.gif.babyf.gifAlways busy
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#375 of 419 Old 08-16-2008, 09:16 PM
 
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I have 5. I have always wanted at least 4. I grew up with a brother and sister that were much older, so it was like being an only and I hated it. My mom and dad both had really big families though, and I loved how close they were. That is why I decided to have a large family of my own.

DH isn't a kid person though, and he probably would have been happy being childless his whole life, so that kind of sucks sometimes, because he loses his patience very easily.

Overall, its really great though, loud, messy, overwhelming at times, but still great. I would love to have a few more, even though my last pregnancy kicked my butt, but we are most likely done.

I also got my first nasty reaction to the number of kids I have today. These people actually stopped their car and gave the standard, "are these all yours" question (they counted my kids before stopping) and then said "do you know what causes that now?" and although I was slightly nnoyed I tolerated the rudeness and just said "yeah", but then they start laughing as they drive away, and the passenger actually turned around to laugh some more. I was so pissed and hurt. How is it "funny" for someone to have a lot of kids wth is wrong with that? It kind of made me feel like I was back in high school or something. I wish that I had reacted better and put them in their place or something. I just keep dwelling on it instead.
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#376 of 419 Old 08-16-2008, 09:27 PM
 
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[QUOTE=wehave5boyshelp;11957052 Sometimes I even have to count cuz i can't tell if they are all there or not - 1, 2, 3, 4..... 5? 5!? where is 5!?- Oh wait, here he is. So far we haven't permanently lost anyone [/QUOTE]

i have 4 boys and i do this all the time! they are like the tazmanian devil, non-stop movement!

"give me life, give me pain, give me myself again" - tori amos
30yo SAHM of 4 DS's: 10/98, 6/01, 2/03 and 11/04, wife to DH, 33
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#377 of 419 Old 08-17-2008, 12:09 AM
 
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QUESTION:

How many kids do you have?
How many bedrooms and bathrooms and square footage in your house/apartment?
What do you WANT?
Do you feel it's important to have a bigger house with more children?

Currently:
4 kids, 2 adults
3 bed/2 bath/1,100sq
Would like around 1500-1700sq for more kitchen, dining, storage, office space.

Ppl think we're crazy to have 4 kids in a small house, but I think it keeps you closer as a family (I came from a larger home with less kids and my own room and could go a week without seeing a parent and never had to share or "live with" my bro at all except for sharing a bathroom.

I'd like a little more functional space, but not a ton of extra space just to have "room" you know?

Almost a b-ball team: : Taylor -14, Alex -11, Jack -8, Lachlan born at home 11/15/07
"Well behaved women rarely make history"
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#378 of 419 Old 08-17-2008, 08:07 AM
 
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Summertime Mommy, I am sorry you had to deal w/such rude people! I am so : just reading about it. I can't imagine how you felt. mama. We know how awesome it is to have a big family.

GinaRae, we have a small home too and people also think we're nuts. We are very happy though. Recently we visiting my BIL in his ginormous house. We felt so lost there. We never knew where the kids were or what they were doing. We kept finding ourselves huddled up together in the smallest room. It was actually pretty funny.

Happy mama of four Wild Things
"And now," cried Max "let the wild rumpus begin!"
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#379 of 419 Old 08-17-2008, 10:56 AM
 
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Thanks max. I needed that hug.

We have a pretty small house too. 3br/2ba around 1100sq/ft, but we like it (thank God for bunkbeds). I just moved and we have a garage for the first time ever, and it is heavenly to not have to find storage inside the house for all of our stuff. Right now, we are working on chores and organization. I have cosiderred taking a cue from the Duggars and doing different zones the kids are each responsible for, but I am not sure how well it would work out in our family. Right now, I just assign things randomly, but that means things don't always get done. Does anyone have any good ideas about delegating chores and keeping the house running well?
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#380 of 419 Old 08-17-2008, 03:45 PM
 
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QUESTION:

How many kids do you have?
How many bedrooms and bathrooms and square footage in your house/apartment?
What do you WANT?
Do you feel it's important to have a bigger house with more children?



I'd like a little more functional space, but not a ton of extra space just to have "room" you know?
2 adults/ 5 kids + 1 on the way/ 1 cat & 1 dog
we have a 3 bedroom house, 1 bathroom ~ 1200 sq ft only

I would like to have the following ~
a dining room or kitchen BIG ENOUGH to seat all of us
at least 1 more bedroom
1 more bathroom

I don't think we necessarily need a HUGE house ~ but as the PP stated, more functional space would be great! We have no dining room & a relatively small "cozy" kitchen & the table can only fit the kids ~ so DH has been standing to eat for a few years now & I recently joined that in the last year. Another bathroom would be nice to just be able to pee in peace ~ and the bedroom would be great so that everyone could double up vs having 3 kids in a REALLY SMALL room!

Dana
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#381 of 419 Old 08-17-2008, 03:48 PM
 
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Just looking to see if anyone has flown with their group or been to DisneyWorld?
::

We have been talking about this as well........anyone????
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#382 of 419 Old 08-17-2008, 04:24 PM
 
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We have 2 adults, 4 kids, 2 large dogs, 1 cat in about 1000 sq feet, and we find that it isn't so much the sq ft as it is the lay out. there is a lot of dead space in our house. What I would want:
2 bathrooms
dining room with a big enough table
BOOKSHELVES
open floor plan kitchen/dining/living room

homebirthing,,homeschooling intactalactivist mom to 3dd jumpers.gifand 2dsbouncy.gif.babyf.gifAlways busy
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#383 of 419 Old 08-17-2008, 05:37 PM
 
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we have 2 adults and 4 kids and 2 cats in a 3 bedroom, 1 1/2 bathroom 2 storey townhouse-style apartment.

i would desperately love a house/whatever that had bigger bedrooms, not more, but bigger. right now the 3 little ones are in one room and the oldest has his own, but he has all 3 dressers in there cuz of lack of space. an extra full bathroom would be just awesome, and a bigger basement. we have the smallest basement in our complex, since we are up against the boiler room (which also means it's so hot in my place that in winter i never turn on the heat. ugh.)

"give me life, give me pain, give me myself again" - tori amos
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#384 of 419 Old 08-17-2008, 05:52 PM
 
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I've got a question for you mamas..did you KNOW you wanted a large family?If so,was it something you ALWAYS knew or were you back and forth or what?What's it like having lots of kids?
No, I never knew. I wanted 3. But after my 2'nd and 3'd were born (twins) I just knew that I wanted another one. It took awhile to get dh on board but he finally agreed and I have 4 now. I'd love another, but dh isn't in favor of it and it's likely not going to happen. At this point adoption would really be my only option anyway.

Oh, and we've been to Disney when my youngest was about 16 months. It was fine.

As far as our house goes. We just moved and got a great deal on a big house. We have 6 bedrooms (bonus area over the garage has 2 bedrooms) and 2.5 baths. The square footage on the main levels is about 2800 and the basement adds more, I don't know, maybe another 700 square feet? It's finished down there and I use it for a kids' area.

But we were fine before in our 4 br/2.5 ba/2200 square foot house too.
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#385 of 419 Old 08-17-2008, 06:19 PM
 
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We have 5 boys, then my and dh. We are in a 3 bed 2 bath 1cr garage (filled with junk) in a 1100 apartment. We are house hunting for a 4 br. house, But are in no hurry at all. Something with a biiiiig kitchen.
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#386 of 419 Old 08-18-2008, 05:19 AM
 
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The best answer to the
"You know what causes that now?" that I've heard was from my Dad's cousin - who had a biiiiig family - even by 1960 / 70's Irish Catholic Standards
She replied - with a round eyed surprised expression
- Nooooo, you . . . you mean something actually causes that . . . you found you what it is?
Oooh, go on tell me, tell me please? -
This resulted in the other person half smiling in a confused manner and walking away.

When she was once asked if they were all hers (they were arranging a holiday at the time) - she said she was so tempted to ask -
"If they're borrowed do I get a discount on return?"
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#387 of 419 Old 08-19-2008, 05:16 AM
 
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We have a pretty small house too. 3br/2ba around 1100sq/ft, but we like it (thank God for bunkbeds). I just moved and we have a garage for the first time ever, and it is heavenly to not have to find storage inside the house for all of our stuff. Right now, we are working on chores and organization. I have cosiderred taking a cue from the Duggars and doing different zones the kids are each responsible for, but I am not sure how well it would work out in our family. Right now, I just assign things randomly, but that means things don't always get done. Does anyone have any good ideas about delegating chores and keeping the house running well?
My older kids are 13, 10, and 7. Everyone tells me to put them to work. Everyone says I am lucky to have all that help. Those are the perceptions, and I understand them. But the reality is that it's not that simple!

Because they're kids at those ages, they're train wrecks! Messy, irresponsible, and their brand of "help" is definitely not what we would do ourselves. THEY are the ones making the mess, you know? And I have to hound them and watch and check up on and fix a lot of their work... that in itself is exhausting.

BUT... I do have them do chores often. They have some things they always do, and then whatever else I need thrown in. I feel it's my duty to teach them how to do this type of thing well, and to do it regulary. It's really exhausting, but I think it's worth it for their future. And depending on the chjore, it IS helpful... like sweeping the floors or taking the laundry to the garage. Other things are just chores on a hamster wheel... meaning things to clean up the messes they make like dishes, their bathroom, etc.

It never ends. It requires organization and up keep and motivation. I am trying to get it together still so I can be more consistent.

Almost a b-ball team: : Taylor -14, Alex -11, Jack -8, Lachlan born at home 11/15/07
"Well behaved women rarely make history"
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#388 of 419 Old 08-19-2008, 05:30 AM
 
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Whoops, posted this in another tribe...

It's hard because I just want them to be able to be kids, but I want them to learn and help too.

I let them know my expectations up front -- the job I expect. I show them how to do it 1-2 times previously or coach as they go. When they come to me and say they're done, I remind them of my expectations and ask them if they're SURE and ask them to check the job again. I check on it. Whatever needs to be fixed, I ask them to fix. This could go on for an hour or two.

And on and on and on. Three kids with varying degrees of motivation to clean is TOUGH. I used to do a lot more myself but since the pregnancy/baby I do much less that I did before, so I am pushing them to do it right and for me to be consistent and PATIENT. Yikes! Patience!

No matter what, they will try to cut corners, be creative, etc. I get so upset by that, so I am really working on the patience and remembering I HAVE to check. Like the time my oldest cleaned both bathrooms with the same washcloth on both sink and TOILET in one room, then sink and toilet in the next too. Eeeww!!! Poor kid had to do it ALL over again and freaked out. I have had a hard time teaching them the abstract idea that just because you don't look or smell dirt, you can have insidious bacteria on things.

Mostly the boys have a few regular chores, and the rest of life is fun, fun, fun kid stuff.

Almost a b-ball team: : Taylor -14, Alex -11, Jack -8, Lachlan born at home 11/15/07
"Well behaved women rarely make history"
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#389 of 419 Old 08-19-2008, 07:38 AM
 
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Just looking to see if anyone has flown with their group or been to DisneyWorld?
We've gone for the past four years w/our crew. It has been fantastic. We stayed in a cabin in Fort Wilderness. (The bedroom sleeps four comfortable, or five if you use the pack 'n' play. The living room has a double murphy bed. Full kitchen. We had groceries delivered & ate in a lot.) What works best for us is to go in the least crowded times of year and go to the parks first thing in the morning when it is dramatically less crowded. Feel free to PM if you want more info. We've also flown a few other times to visit family - it's always gone well. (Knock on wood!!)

As far as houses go, we live in a 3 bedroom 2 bath raised ranch. Our three girls share a room & ds has his own. We have a nice play room downstairs and a great yard. I would so love one more bedroom though and a kitchen or dining room w/a table big enough to fit all of us. Closet space is at a premium. Good thing I'm a minimalist! For now, it all works well. When the kids are older (they currently are 2, 4, 7 & 8), I'm sure we'll need to make some changes.

Happy mama of four Wild Things
"And now," cried Max "let the wild rumpus begin!"
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#390 of 419 Old 08-19-2008, 12:23 PM
 
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My older kids are 13, 10, and 7. Everyone tells me to put them to work. Everyone says I am lucky to have all that help. Those are the perceptions, and I understand them. But the reality is that it's not that simple!

Because they're kids at those ages, they're train wrecks! Messy, irresponsible, and their brand of "help" is definitely not what we would do ourselves. THEY are the ones making the mess, you know? And I have to hound them and watch and check up on and fix a lot of their work... that in itself is exhausting.

'

BUT... I do have them do chores often. They have some things they always do, and then whatever else I need thrown in. I feel it's my duty to teach them how to do this type of thing well, and to do it regulary. It's really exhausting, but I think it's worth it for their future. And depending on the chjore, it IS helpful... like sweeping the floors or taking the laundry to the garage. Other things are just chores on a hamster wheel... meaning things to clean up the messes they make like dishes, their bathroom, etc.

It never ends. It requires organization and up keep and motivation. I am trying to get it together still so I can be more consistent.
I am only a mama of two, but big families intriuge me so I was reading on this thread...

One of my dear friends had 5 kids in a 10 year span (the youngest is maybe 7 now?). She has her house divided into 'zones' and each kid is responsible for a zone. They have a sheet on the wall in the zone (the living room will be a zone, each bathroom a zone, the kitchen and hallway one zone etc, however it makes sense to split it up between how many kids you have) that says somethingt o the effect of "this is ___'s zone, we love their cheerful servent heart, if you have any complaints or questions about this zone, please direc them to ____" or something. then they have a list of the things that need to be done in that zone and how often. I thought that was a cool idea! Kinda gives them ownership. Oh, and their photo is at the top of the paper too.
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