tribe for large families/mamas of many kids? - Page 9 - Mothering Forums

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#241 of 419 Old 06-07-2007, 02:21 PM
 
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So, does anyone ever find themselves saying things like "Remember when we *only* had 5 kids (or however many!)", and getting incredulous looks from friends? I find it hillarious!


We're not there yet, but I find myself thinking/speaking in terms of "we only have three" or "we're just on #4," because we do plan on having more. I'm trying to keep myself in a "this isn't much" frame of mind so I don't get overwhelmed later.

I do talk about how nice it is to go out for errands etc. with only one... and I remember when I only had one and it was so much harder. And I totally sympatize with moms of 1 who find running errands with their baby/toddler harrowing -- it's just a matter of experience, I guess.

Congratulations on the new babe!

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My DH and I work from home running two businesses, he does the internet side (building our websites, doing product sourcing, etc.) I do the creation side (sewing, building, painting, etc.). We quit our out-of-home jobs a little over 2 years ago so that we could spend more time together as a family, homeschool the kids and actually make more money. We're currently working on fixing our credit so we can buy some land with a house and become even more self-sustainable.
This sounds so wonderful! I've daydreamed about doing something like this... was it scary when you started working at home? My dh has always thought about starting a business... his dad was self-employed while dh was growing up, and my dad is also self-employed, so I know it's possible, but we've been spoiled for a while by dh's gov't job with predictable hours and good benefits. I would love to love in the country -- the biggest drawback for us is the commute, but a home-based business would help with that (depending on the business).

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#242 of 419 Old 06-07-2007, 04:47 PM
 
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subbing!

We've got 4 kiddos~ 3 boys and 1 girl. Dh and I said we'd be done w/ 4 originally but now that we've got 4 here we're starting to think there's more to come. I'm about to start midwifery school so a babe right now wouldn't be the best timing. We'll see what the future brings.

My great g-ma had 15 so I've definately got the birthing baby gene!!

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#243 of 419 Old 06-07-2007, 05:02 PM
 
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Welcome birthdancedoula!



I have found myself many times thinking or saying comments like "We only had four children then." Or sometimes "WOW, we only had five when we did that."


I can't even remember only having one or two or three!

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#244 of 419 Old 06-07-2007, 05:07 PM
 
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Welcome mmskids!

This is a great thread.

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#245 of 419 Old 06-07-2007, 05:16 PM
 
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Welcome zjande!


I am glad you could join. Congratulations on your expected one. You should nearly be out of the sick trimester (hope you don't get awful morning sickness, but at least you are almost done with it if you do).

Cooking has always been one of my talents. I can take nothing and make it in to something very easily.

Dried beans, for instance, I have been known to toss some (meaning about 5 pounds) into my crockpot in the morning, add a little seasoning (salt, pepper, cumin, chili powder) and toss in some tomato sauce, turn it on high and let it cook all day.

Then for supper, we can have beans and rice, or I could pull the out and refry them and serve with salad and tortillas (don't forget the cheese and sour cream-my children love that). Or I have even been known to toss them into a pot and turn it into chili or a bean soup. Mostly it depends on what I have on hand and what I am wanting that day.

Most of my talent just comes from trial and error. I never had any classes, and though I have cookbooks, I just don't really like to use them.

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#246 of 419 Old 06-07-2007, 05:47 PM
 
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This sounds so wonderful! I've daydreamed about doing something like this... was it scary when you started working at home? My dh has always thought about starting a business... his dad was self-employed while dh was growing up, and my dad is also self-employed, so I know it's possible, but we've been spoiled for a while by dh's gov't job with predictable hours and good benefits. I would love to love in the country -- the biggest drawback for us is the commute, but a home-based business would help with that (depending on the business).
Well, I didn't quit my j-o-b until we'd been doing the home business successfully for a year and by the time I quit my j-o-b I really needed to so we could grow the home business! My j-o-b was actually stifling our business (such a great feeling!). Basically find something that you love to do and can do from home and then work on marketing it. We started off small, using eBay (which sucks, but it's a great form of fairly cheap advertising for starting out) and barely breaking even, now we're pulling in way more than we ever made working outside the home and while we live frugally, we live quite nicely and haven't ever had to stress over whether or not we could cover rent or emergencies.

Just know that as long as there are people, they want to buy stuff If you're the one making it, then you are supplying a need. It takes a lot of hard work, but the payoff is better than any money made working for somebody else.
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#247 of 419 Old 06-07-2007, 07:52 PM
 
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I just spent the last 2 hours reading this "thread" and I'm really surprised there isn't a separate forum for this yet.

.
I so agree with this!!!

It would be easier to deal with topics individually rather than piecemeal on one giant thread.

Michelle: wife to J, mom to M (2001), E (2003), C (2005), S (2007) and O! (2009) And someone new in 2011!
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#248 of 419 Old 06-07-2007, 08:48 PM
 
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I agree. A forum all our own would be great. There is so much that is unique for large families.


Maeveypoo, just curious, what is it that you make?

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#249 of 419 Old 06-07-2007, 09:20 PM
 
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Has anyone considered that if we can't get a sub-forum perhaps we could make an off-site forum all our own?
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#250 of 419 Old 06-07-2007, 09:57 PM
 
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Between this thread, the other big family thread, and the quiverful thread, I think we have plenty of people to create a subforum in the parenting section for large families. I would rather not go off-site. Not only are our needs/concerns unique, but I also feel it is important to feel support here in this forum, as we are a group that is often looked down upon.

It was important to me to know that there are other "Mothering" mothers who have a lot of kids. Most AP parents I know IRL have very small families. Also, a lot of "Mothering" mothers are crunchy/ pro-environment (as I am), BUT there is a widespread opinion amoung environmentalists that we should limit our procreation and that too many children is irresponsible. I know that I (with only THREE children currently) am very much stared upon when I shop at my local organic food-coop. It is a frustrating attitude to encounter, I'm sure you can all agree. Let alone being looked down on by our own families who don't understand, we are often looked upon as odd by people who practice the same parenting style as we do, and that makes me especially sad because it is so helpful to connect with people who understand our other non-mainstream choices.

Any parent who is practicing anything along the lines of extended breastfeeding/tandem nursing/child-led weaning, co-sleeping, eating healthy, homeschooling, homebirthing, along with parenting many children really do face some unique challenges that people who parent one or two can't really relate to... I don't mean this in an offensive way to anyone who chooses to limit how many children they have. I just feel very comforted to find I'm not such an oddball afterall.
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#251 of 419 Old 06-07-2007, 10:26 PM
 
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Friendly reminder: This is not the place to discuss having a new forum. That needs to be asked in the Q and S forum.

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#252 of 419 Old 06-07-2007, 10:41 PM
 
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I know I have always felt the "odd man out" in most every circumstance. My family think I am nuts because finances are tight and I still have more children. My church family thinks I am crazy, because most families there are two income families and do not understand the SAHM mentality. AP and "Natural" types tend to think I'm irresponsible because I have more than two and am using too much of the earths resources and ZPG people think I am contributing to overpopulation and therefore it is my fault that people are starving in other countries (I guess I have heard it all).

There are very few places that I can go and just be "normal". MDC (at least part of it) is one place. I have no IRL places or people to associate with that do not either pity me, look down on me, or are just afraid of me (like I am contagious or something).

But it is nice here to have some people that are like-minded.

As for off sight forums, I have quit all that I used to be a part of. I just don't have time for too much, and I have made MDC my "home" chat sight.

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#253 of 419 Old 06-07-2007, 10:41 PM
 
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Friendly reminder: This is not the place to discuss having a new forum. That needs to be asked in the Q and S forum.
I apologize, I didn't realize...

Has anyone here on this thread done this?
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#254 of 419 Old 06-08-2007, 12:45 AM
 
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Maeveypoo, just curious, what is it that you make?
Medieval and Renaissance style costumes (as well as historically-documented garb and fantasy for custom orders) is our original business and the second which is the one that pays the bills these days is selling natural fabrics (linen, organic cotton, wool, hemp, silk) and ecclesiastical brocades. The fabric selling started becoming the main business last year when my turnaround time reached 6 months for sewing!
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#255 of 419 Old 06-08-2007, 01:33 AM
 
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Friendly reminder: This is not the place to discuss having a new forum. That needs to be asked in the Q and S forum.

I just revived this thread over in Q&S.

Everyone should go over there and post to show there's a need for a seperate forum.

Now back to our regularly scheduled tribal discussions...

Ashley~certified nurse-midwife mama to 6 little novaxnocirc.gifhomebirth.jpglotbirth.gif loves, including sweet Cordelia Jane born at home waterbirth.jpgon 11/12/10.
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#256 of 419 Old 06-08-2007, 10:42 AM
 
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Thanks, ladies!

BTW, can I join? I just had number 4. I know that's still an itty bitty family compared to some of you, but we're really starting to feel big!

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#257 of 419 Old 06-08-2007, 11:04 AM
 
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Thanks, ladies!

BTW, can I join? I just had number 4. I know that's still an itty bitty family compared to some of you, but we're really starting to feel big!
Sure thing, mama!!

And I think #4 qualifies you for big familyhood!!

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#258 of 419 Old 06-08-2007, 12:15 PM
 
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I just tried to have #4, but somehow trying to get preggo with 4 turned into twins and now we have 5!! Doubly blessed!

We're in a sort of small home for now (3 bedrooms-- kids have 2 of them, one for boys with a triple bunk, and the girls' room has a triple bunk even though we only have 2 girls for now). But, sometime in the next few years, we'll be in a position to buy a home, and I'd like a little bigger one. Once we have somewhere to put them, we'd DEFINITELY love to have a bigger family!

We aren't exactly quiverfull, but we do believe children are ALWAYS a blessing (whether you're in a big house or not). We homeschool, grow a lot of our own veggies every year, and enjoy having so many sweet ones to love in the home!

Nice to meet you all!

Wife of one and mom of five, including my HBAC twins!
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#259 of 419 Old 06-08-2007, 12:41 PM
 
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There are lots of us with 4 here Annette.

I'm not quiverfull in the religious sense but I do not believe (personally) in birth control and am leaving my fertility up to the universe.

Secretly I hope we have at least 10.
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#260 of 419 Old 06-08-2007, 01:54 PM
 
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I always wanted a dozen, but DH says 5 is his absolute limit.

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#261 of 419 Old 06-08-2007, 01:58 PM
 
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That's one thing I'm thankful for, DP and I have always seen eye to eye on almost all parenting/family decisions.
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#262 of 419 Old 06-08-2007, 02:42 PM
 
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Subbing because I am seriously considering adopting a sibling set of 7. Yes, I said seven, Mom. I have 3 kids, 2 still at home, ages 11 & 12, and the kids I am am thinking of range in age from 6 to 16, with the 4 older girls and the younger ones boys. I am terrified! Could I really be a single, WAHM, unschooling, AP, relaxed, happy mama to 9?!? 10 if we count ElderSon, age 25!

Rhu - mother,grandmother,daughter,sister,friend-foster,adoptive,and biological;not necessarily in that order. Some of it's magic, some of it's tragic, but I had a good life all the way (Jimmy Buffet)

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#263 of 419 Old 06-08-2007, 05:05 PM
 
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Wow! What happened to their parents, if you don't mind my asking?
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#264 of 419 Old 06-08-2007, 05:27 PM
 
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Medieval and Renaissance style costumes (as well as historically-documented garb and fantasy for custom orders) is our original business and the second which is the one that pays the bills these days is selling natural fabrics (linen, organic cotton, wool, hemp, silk) and ecclesiastical brocades. The fabric selling started becoming the main business last year when my turnaround time reached 6 months for sewing!
That is just so cool! I love the Medieval times. That is my particular genre that my novels are set in. So it has always fascinated me. (Excluding all the magic and stuff.)

I have studied the times in great detail. Mostly regarding castles and systems of government. I have not found too much on the actual clothing beyond general facts, though. Do you have a web site that I could take a look at?

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#265 of 419 Old 06-08-2007, 05:28 PM
 
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Thanks, ladies!

BTW, can I join? I just had number 4. I know that's still an itty bitty family compared to some of you, but we're really starting to feel big!


Hi! Of course you can join. Most agree that 4 is considered large (even though for me, it does not feel like it.)

Welcome to the tribe!

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#266 of 419 Old 06-08-2007, 05:32 PM
 
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Welcome christyc, to the tribe!

I love twins. I have always wanted a set of twins. I tease my older children that I have to keep trying until I finally get that set. (It always makes then groan!)

Of course, I don't really try to get pg. (That is not what I believe.)

But I do love teasing my children. And I do always hope for a set of twins when I get a positive test.

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#267 of 419 Old 06-08-2007, 05:39 PM
 
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Subbing because I am seriously considering adopting a sibling set of 7. Yes, I said seven, Mom. I have 3 kids, 2 still at home, ages 11 & 12, and the kids I am am thinking of range in age from 6 to 16, with the 4 older girls and the younger ones boys. I am terrified! Could I really be a single, WAHM, unschooling, AP, relaxed, happy mama to 9?!? 10 if we count ElderSon, age 25!
Just wanted to say hi!

Welcome to the forum.

I have been a temporary mom of 10 before, and it was not easy. But I had the support of my DH. However, six of those were six and under. Your children will be a bit older, so it should be easier.

It may be hard for you, but I am sure if you feel like this is something that you should do, those children would be truly blessed. No many places would keep that many children together in other circumstances.

Feel free to pick our brains for any help that we can offer. I know plenty here that would love to help in any way that we can.

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#268 of 419 Old 06-11-2007, 03:39 AM
 
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Unless anyone knows of any minivans with 5 rear shoulder belt.
We have an '04 Toyota Sienna with the optional 8th seat. It has 5 rear shoulder belts.
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#269 of 419 Old 06-11-2007, 12:15 PM
 
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We have an '04 Toyota Sienna with the optional 8th seat. It has 5 rear shoulder belts.

This is what we drive as well. I'm not quite ready to jump to the conversion van They are coming out with the Sienna as a hybrid next year or the year after but I think it will only be a 7 seater

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#270 of 419 Old 06-11-2007, 12:21 PM
 
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Subbing because I am seriously considering adopting a sibling set of 7. Yes, I said seven, Mom. I have 3 kids, 2 still at home, ages 11 & 12, and the kids I am am thinking of range in age from 6 to 16, with the 4 older girls and the younger ones boys. I am terrified! Could I really be a single, WAHM, unschooling, AP, relaxed, happy mama to 9?!? 10 if we count ElderSon, age 25!
Ok, off topic I suppose but I *just saw* a sibling set of seven listed waiting somewhere. I wonder if it is the same group! You know you are meant to have a large family when you see situations like that and think "I could do that! Wouldn't it be wonderful?"

We recently went from 7 to 4 and wow it feels EMPTY here. I almost left this tribe because 4 seems like nothing to me. But we are going to add at least 2 more in the near future through adoption and I'd really love to adopt a sibling set as well.

I'm not sure how adopting a sibling set would work, esp if they have a lot of behavioral problems. But I know that when we had 7 here, it was easy-peasy. Sometimes easier than our current 4. We had lots of help and support from the older kids. I'm not in the camp that believes that kids be little parents just because I want to have a lot of babies but all our older kids really want to help with the little ones so there are always hands to help out. I like that I could just do a shout out "Who would be willing to do xyz" and eventually someone would volunteer :-)

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