I have a friend whose ds has serious behavioral issues and who goes to a special preschool and also receives services at home. He is four and a half. Dd, who is the same age, rarely plays with him because they are opposite schedules school-wise, but occasionally they will see each other. Dd gets very upset and frustrated by his behavior, as he does not know how to play with other children and winds up making a pest of himself, arguing, bossing, yelling, trying to get her in trouble, etc. I do not set up playdates between the two of them ,but on occasion they will be together (at a party or something) and she has begun to express how much she doesn't like him.
Yesterday she spent all of twenty minutes with him (my friend was babysitting for my daughter while her son was in school, but he came home when I came to pick her up). The whole drive home, she was telling me how she didn't like him, and how she wished that he hadn't come home from school until after she had left! very articulate for a four-year old, I know!
Anyway, I tried to explain that, just as she can draw better than some of her friends and some of her friends can do the fire fighter pole better than her, this child is still learning how to play with other children and he is not that good at it yet. I agreed that it isn't much fun for her to play with him and told her that we would not have playdates with him, but that we might see him sometimes and explained things she could do if he was upsetting her (using her words, asking me or another adult for help, etc.). I'm wondering if I handled this all right? Has anyone ever had to explain anything similar to a child of this age?