People saying rude things about my son in front of him - Mothering Forums

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Old 03-30-2003, 11:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My 2 year old son is very spirited! He's very rambunctious and gets into everything but he is wonderful and intelligent. My family keeps making comments like if they hear a noise, "oh Elijah must be getting into trouble again." or today I was saying what a good boy he was and my mom said, "yeah most of the time." I argued with her and said he is always a good boy but she kept it up. That's just some of the stuff they say, basically they are always saying what a handful he is and how much stuff he gets into. I LIKE that he is intellegent enough and confidant enough to explore his world and yes sometimes he IS a handful but he is heartful too! What should I do?

Shawna, married to Michael, mommy to Elijah 1/18/01, Olivia 11/9/02, and Eliana 1/22/06
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Old 03-31-2003, 12:09 AM
 
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Try turning it into a positive. When they say he's getting into trouble again, maybe say, "Yes, isn't it great that he's confident and curious enough to explore and learn?"

If they say he's a handful, say "Yes, he'll never be a pushover. He's so self-assured and knows excactly what he wants. I think that will really help him throughout his life."

Things like that.

I used to actually agree with people who made these little putdowns about my son until I realized they made me think of him negatively. Now I turn every comment--even neutral ones--into resounding positives. If the person tries to continue making negative comments, I'll finally say, "Well, I guess everyone isn't cut out to appreciate Ben" and fix them with a hard smile. That ALWAYS gets them sputtering.
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Old 03-31-2003, 12:35 AM
 
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I agree. Try to put a positive spin on every thing they say It may drive you crazy for while but it is contageous.

Whenthey say he is a handful you couyld say "Doin't you wish you were that energetic and full of life" " i wish every one was that excited abiout each day"

When they say "he is probably off getting into trouble" You couls respond with something like "He is so into exploring" " he is so inquisitive sometimes it just gets the better of him" "he is so curiuose. i think it is a sign of genius"

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

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Old 03-31-2003, 01:35 AM
 
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I agree with making it positive.....

I actually caught myself doing this to ds.....but I honestly don't mind!! I always felt sorry for the ladies walking through stores that had babies that laid in their strollers like little blobs! Ds has always been wide eyed and alert. He has always paid attention to everything around him. He gets into everything because he is intereted in everything. He is 11 months old and aready takes things apart to see how they work!

I think its a great thing!! At least your little guy isn't a little blob sitting on the floor in front of the tv!

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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Old 03-31-2003, 04:57 AM
 
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That "little blob" you are talking about is my son.

Not that he sits on the floor watching tv. He is just so laid back that he didn't roll from back to stomach until 7 1/2 months old because he didn't like being on his stomach so there was no reason to go there. He also doesn't crawl he rolls to get to things.

Heavenly -

I agree with turning things into positives. I have to do that with DH sometimes because he can be negative by nature (but is getting better). However, you might want to double check to see if your mom or others are not trying to send an unspoken message. Does your son break things or household rules at other peoples houses and maybe they are trying to gently tell you to watch him more carefully without upsetting you?

If it is at your own house that these conversations take place, don't worry about it but if it is at their house they maybe concerned with his safety and the safety of their knicknacks.
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Old 03-31-2003, 10:43 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by irishprincess71
That "little blob" you are talking about is my son.

Not that he sits on the floor watching tv. He is just so laid back that he didn't roll from back to stomach until 7 1/2 months old because he didn't like being on his stomach so there was no reason to go there. He also doesn't crawl he rolls to get to things.
I hope you didn' think I waspoking fun. For us it we always thought ds was the od man out as an infant. Since he was the only one we ever saw like this.

We have friend who has a baby 2 days older than ds. Her daughter is like the "little blob" that I mentioned....bu she is already able to identify her nose and ears. She looks at books and does sign language. I guess its a toss up as to what babies are like and not one is the same.

To me the interesting thing is that once they reach a certiain age almost all babies do the same things!

again.....I wasn't poking fun.....there were times when I would get so jealous of women that had laid back little ones!

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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Old 03-31-2003, 01:32 PM
 
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Just an observation -- as is always the case with negative comments, they are about the person making the comments, not about your child. People who say, "My isn't (ds) a live wire!" or whatever, it means THEY are comparing your child to how he/she would fit in THEIR lives. My stock answer to any B.S. comment is, "What do you mean by that?" said with a big smile.
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Old 03-31-2003, 01:46 PM
 
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I agree to make it positive. Your ds will cue off you more than others. I remember reading something about a child that heard his mother's answer to the constant comments she got re: her large family so often that he started answering for her: "Yeah, isn't she lucky?"
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Old 03-31-2003, 04:46 PM
 
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Gads zooks. I get tired of that too. My middle dd is so spirited. My dad calls her "Barbed Wire". Just because she won't stand for his "teasing" which sometimes can be very hurtful. He once asked if I shouldn't be teaching her to "go along to get along" more. I asked him if he would like me to comment on his parenting skills. He declined. I have privetly asked my family to please use positves when they speak about her energy and gumption and get up and go. They have been great about this, but folks at Safeway aren't always. I agree, all one can do is turn it around for your child. "Did you hear that lady admire your curiosty?" When the sour puss actually said something under her breath about "seen and not heard." My dd knows I appriciate her drive and energy and she appriciates it too. She is pushy sometimes, and we address this, but Jeez, I kinda wish people could just see the joy in living and comment on that instead!!
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