I'm new to posting here, but as an adoptive mom of a 2 year old boy, this topic prompted me to jump in. I knew nothing about AP (never even heard the term) before my son was born (we adopted him at birth) - it was an out-of-state adoption so we lived in a hotel until all the paperwork cleared and we could return home. We asked the hotel for a crib and just assumed that's where he would sleep. Hah! The only way our baby would rest was not only in our bed, but on my chest. Two years later he still sleeps with us - thank goodness he taught us what he needed. We called him velcro baby because he had to be held all the time; neither a sling nor a baby bjorn was close enough to my body for him!
While I was not able to try adoptive breastfeeding (our birthparent match came very suddenly and I couldn't prepare for it), I would have done so should it have seemed feasible. Despite my son not routinely sleeping through the night until 21 months old, we never considered CIO even though the pressure from family and friends was considerable (they thought I was nuts - I thought they were).
For the first few months I had no idea there was a name for what I was trying to do. All I knew was that I wanted my son to feel as secure and connected to me as he could possibly be. Though we were lucky to have been with him since he was only a few minutes old (during our first day with him my husband said "I've been holding him almost his entire life!"), as an adoptive parent I couldn't help but worry about whether the transition from his birthmother's body to our care would affect him in a way we couldn't make up for. Holding him and responding to his cues just felt so right, and eased my mind somewhat.
As I began reading about parenting, searching for ideas I could agree with, I stumbled upon Mothering magazine and eventually upon Dr. Sears. It was so wonderful to know others felt like me, and made me focus more on the connections between mothers than the differences in how we became them. Reading all of your thoughtful posts on this topic is very affirming. Teresa, your friends will deeply benefit from your concern and support. Though children adopted internationally do tend to be older than newborns, I agree that many of the principles of AP will fit their needs for comfort, nurturing, and bonding. Of course, their parents will need to take their cues from the children - if, for example, they are used to sleeping in cribs, they may actually feel more secure in one than in a bed. But it definitely wouldn't hurt for your friends to know that co-sleeping might be an option!
To the suggestions already offered I would add this one - some friends sent us a memory book specifically for children who were adopted (designed by three teens who were adopted as children - one domestically, two from Korea). It's a lovely alternative to the traditional baby books, which usually include sections on the child's birth (something your friends' children may have no information about). There's a website at:http://www.adorableadoptees.com/
Patricia Irwin's Johnston's book "Launching a Baby's Adoption" is a wonderful resource, as has been mentioned. There may be other books from her publishing company which could be helpful - the url is www.perspectivespress.com.
I just looked there and there's a book coming out called Attaching in Adoption: http://www.perspectivespress.com/attachadopt.html
I can't tell from the information whether there's any discussion of AP as we know it, though. You might also pass along Dr. Sears' website www.askdrsears.com.
To Laurel and any other prospective adoptive parents - please know that though your journey to parenthood may seem endless, you *will* get there. Before we adopted I thought the whole process seemed totally random and very frightening - now on the other side of it I can see that we were meant to be our son's parents. You and your baby will find each other!