Mama's of tall kids... - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 50 Old 09-11-2006, 03:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm just frustrated today. Ds is 4.5 y/o and is a little over 4 feet tall (I have not measured him lately), weighs 50lbs and has a big noggin. He has been huge since the day he was born. We skipped that whole newborn thing. He has always been off the charts.

We are used to hearing "Oh what a big boy he is" and all the other comments you get when you have a large kid. I am used to the looks he gets when he is acting age appropriate because people think he is much older.

We were at swim lessons today. After the lesson I took him into the womens
dressing room to get him changed after his lesson. There were lots of little boys and girls and their Mom's getting changed. A couple women were looking at me and Ds while I was getting him changed. Then I heard one say loudly to the other that DS should not be in the womens changing area because there are little girls getting changed. He is too old and should be in the Men's changing room getting changed himself.
I didn't say anything, although I know I should have. I just finished getting him changed and left.

If it comes up again next week I will just say "he is 4 and needs my help".
I'm just frustrated because I have to justify helping my kid!:

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#2 of 50 Old 09-11-2006, 04:07 PM
 
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You are not the only one with a tall child. Ds1 at 3 years of age is 40 inches tall. DS2 is 17 months at at 12 months was like 31 inches tall.

I get comments all the time about how he is not acting his age, but he really is.

Melissa S.
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#3 of 50 Old 09-11-2006, 04:13 PM
 
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Our pools have family changing rooms for parents with opposite gender children. Too bad not every pool does.
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#4 of 50 Old 09-11-2006, 04:14 PM
 
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My ds was also off the charts from birth.

At 7.5 yrs, he's five feet tall, and every one thinks he's at least 10. He's as big and tall as a kid on our block that's in eighth grade.

I used to try to explain, that he was 3, 4, 5, all of that. It makes no difference, so usually I just ignore it.

Ds, never a shrinking violet, with ears of a bat, has started saying things like, "I'm (whatever age he is), and I can't go into the men's by myself, there's perverts in there."

It shuts them up.
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#5 of 50 Old 09-11-2006, 04:15 PM
 
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I wish we had family locker rooms at the pool.

This summer, we just changed at home and sat on towels, in the car, rather than deal with all of that.
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#6 of 50 Old 09-11-2006, 04:46 PM
 
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My daughter has always been off the charts for height and weight. Because of that and the fact that she was also very verbal very early, it's been a challenge to try and get people to give her a break when she acts her age.

Even now, her first day back to preschool, she's one of the youngest kids in there and is easily a head taller than almost every other kid. I've even had a doctor tell me that I should restrict her food intake, because her weight is in the 95th percentile, despite the fact she's solid muscle with barely any fat on her. (Her height is in the 97th+ category) I think that maybe he was saying that more to me, since I am fat (and short).

I've had to respond directly to passive-aggressive rude comments like what you've described. Generally people shut up and look embarrassed that I dared to respond to them--as they should! They don't often apologize, but sometimes they do. And for every person that must make some kind of disparaging comment, I'm quick to tell them that I love my girl and I'm proud of how big and strong she is! Probably not the best way to handle it, but I am!

I just wish they made more appropriate clothing. Now that she's heading towards size 7 and 8 (she's 4) it's harder to find little girl clothing instead of pre-skank wear.
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#7 of 50 Old 09-11-2006, 05:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I wish our pool had family changing rooms! I didn't think it was a big deal. Zach swims on Monday mornings. There are only 9 kids and 3 teachers in the pool at that time. Six of them are boys. Everyone goes into the womens changing area after swim. I wish that during those times Mom's could take the little boys into the mens changing rooms since there are no older kids there.

I guess that is why I was so irked by her comment. DS would not have been in that class at that time if he was older.

I've gotten so many weird comments over the years that I don't pay attention anymore. I wish people wold figure out that taller does not equal older.

Finding age appropriate clothing is a pia too!

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#8 of 50 Old 09-11-2006, 05:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katana
I wish we had family locker rooms at the pool.

This summer, we just changed at home and sat on towels, in the car, rather than deal with all of that.
I get him changed for swimming at home. When we get there he just has to take off his shirt and shoes. After swim he gets changed and goes to play in the play area in the sports center. Pretty soon it will be too cold to take him home in his swimsuit anyway.

It just sucks that we should have to deal with anything because our kids are tall.

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#9 of 50 Old 09-11-2006, 05:17 PM
 
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My son is about the same size as yours and will be five next month. At least three people have asked him in the last few weeks if he's in 1st grade this year ! He still acts 4 though. It can be hard sometimes. We always use the family changing rooms at our pool. A shame not all pools have them.

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#10 of 50 Old 09-11-2006, 06:27 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by khaoskat
You are not the only one with a tall child. Ds1 at 3 years of age is 40 inches tall. DS2 is 17 months at at 12 months was like 31 inches tall.

I get comments all the time about how he is not acting his age, but he really is.

Melissa S.
My 3-year-old is the same size as yours. He hasn't always been tall, but after he turned 2 he really shot up. I do get tired of the comments... many people assume he is 5 or older. His language is a little behind, though.
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#11 of 50 Old 09-11-2006, 09:02 PM
 
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I, too, have big kids. My 5yo is about 95 % and most people think she is 6 or 7. My 3yo is way off the charts. She is around 45 inches and people usually think she is 4,5, even 6. We've started some new activities recently, and there has been lots of explaining. I would definately be outspoken in explaining how old he is.

Yes, it can be a real pain. But sometimes, it's just what we have to do.
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#12 of 50 Old 09-11-2006, 11:06 PM
 
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Oh gawd how i can relate. my 2 year old is 39 inches tall looks 4...I get all sorts of rude comments.

Me and my wonderful husband serve God. Blessed with twin girls 2/11/11. <3

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#13 of 50 Old 09-11-2006, 11:30 PM
 
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My dd is tall although she is still a babe so at least people expect her to act like a baby I'm preparing for it though. I was extremely tall as a kid. In first grade I TOWERED over my teacher. I was 5'10" by 7th grade (and thankfully stopped growing then, I'm very happy with my height). Everyone thought I was much much older than I was espically since I was a quiet, mature child. I remember a convo I had with a hairstylist when I was a freshman in high school:

Her: So what year are you in?
Me: I'm a freshman
Her: Oh wow! I thought you were a Senior!
Her: So what school do you go to?
Me: ##&&& (name of local high school)
Her: You're a freshman in high school?!!! I thought you were a senior in college!

I'm now 20 and can buy alcohol without being carded. (ok that's really just sad, it makes me feel old!)

The tallness will make people think you are older than you are for a long time.
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#14 of 50 Old 09-12-2006, 12:21 AM
 
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I'm 6'1 tall and you'd think that people would get that my kids are tall for their age too. My children are also in the 90 and 95th percentile for height. My mom warned me when my son was born that people would expect more from them, so I'm always quick to mention their age.

To the person who has the overall big daughter, mine is the same way. As long as she's eating healthy food and normal portions, a consistent appetite is fine. If your ped continues to push the issue, as him to check her body fat index. If she really is muscle and well proportioned like it sounds, he'll shut up.
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#15 of 50 Old 09-12-2006, 12:57 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FEDUP
Oh gawd how i can relate. my 2 year old is 39 inches tall looks 4...I get all sorts of rude comments.
Heh, I'll never forget when I was with DS this spring, we were coming back from visiting in laws in Iran and were on a layover in Germany (he was 2 years 10 months at the time). We were waiting for the changing room with kids who were just tiny in comparison to DS and the parents were looking him, then at me, then at him, and finally someone asked, "HOW OLD IS HE????" clearly meaning, "Why is that huge kid still wearing diapers?" Of course I said, "He's only two!"

I don't think they belived me!
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#16 of 50 Old 09-12-2006, 01:48 AM
 
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Sorry those women were so rude to you. I have a 4 yr old dd (turns 5 next month) who's also off the charts and always has been. She's currently 50" and 53lbs and moving into a size 7. I hate the kinderwhore clothing in her size and I weep that we're about to move across the country and awey from a Hanna Andersson outlet*sigh*

I get so tired of people commenting on her size and I worry that it will make her feel insecure because it's not as "ok" to be a big girls as it would be to be a "big" boy, if you know what I mean.

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#17 of 50 Old 09-12-2006, 09:00 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zach'smom
I'm just frustrated today. Ds is 4.5 y/o and is a little over 4 feet tall (I have not measured him lately), weighs 50lbs and has a big noggin. He has been huge since the day he was born. We skipped that whole newborn thing. He has always been off the charts.

We are used to hearing "Oh what a big boy he is" and all the other comments you get when you have a large kid. I am used to the looks he gets when he is acting age appropriate because people think he is much older.

We were at swim lessons today. After the lesson I took him into the womens
dressing room to get him changed after his lesson. There were lots of little boys and girls and their Mom's getting changed. A couple women were looking at me and Ds while I was getting him changed. Then I heard one say loudly to the other that DS should not be in the womens changing area because there are little girls getting changed. He is too old and should be in the Men's changing room getting changed himself.
I didn't say anything, although I know I should have. I just finished getting him changed and left.

If it comes up again next week I will just say "he is 4 and needs my help".
I'm just frustrated because I have to justify helping my kid!:

I would say, "He is 4 yrs old and needs my help. Would you let your 4 yr old go into a bathroom/change room alone at 4? No? I didn't think so."

As the 5'9 wife of a 6'4 DH, and mom to 3 tall boys for their ages, I get that kind of crap all of the time.
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#18 of 50 Old 09-12-2006, 11:46 AM
 
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I'm 6'3" and I'm still amazed at comments I get from kids and adults. I learned a long time ago, when you are out of the socially perceived normal range (physically or emotionally) people feel the need to make some sort of decision about you, and it's not always positive.

That person's comments were rude, but that shouldn't make your son feel bad and he will learn from you how to handle those kind of comments (and if she were more mature she would have handled her concerns differently).

I think most tall people would agree that most everyone will expect a tall child to be behave more mature than their peers. There are a lot of positives to this but I'd just make sure he has space to act his age (at home or with his friends) without worrying about what other's think.

I do have to say that being tall for me (and especially my brother who's 6'6") has been quite helpful in the business world. After I graduated highschool, which was back in the 80's, life changed and being tall wasn't so bad. In school I was painfully aware of other's comments and not very confident in myself. I would have liked more parental support and guidance but my mom was busy with 5 kids (all a yr apart) and my dad worked 3 jobs.

On a side note, I do have to agree with the other mom's of tall girls, clothing for them shouldn't be this difficult! I managed to find some decent tops and bottoms at Kohl's (an east coast store) for my 5 yr old Kindergartener.

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#19 of 50 Old 09-12-2006, 02:27 PM
 
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That worries me . . . kinderwhore? My daughter is only 2.5, I'm nervous now that I'll just have to dress her like a tomboy only.
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#20 of 50 Old 09-13-2006, 09:19 AM
 
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Yeah, I'm getting a little tired of all the cracks about how she's going to be a great basketball player someday... My DD is very tall. She wasn't long at birth, but she shot up almost immediately, and for a long time was above 99%-- off the charts-- for height. She's slowed down a bit this year, but she's still taller than a lot of three or even four year old girls I've seen. I would guess she's at least 37 inches tall, possibly even 38; tall enough that 3T pants are getting a little short on her. And she's only just 24 months.

Actually, the hardest part with language skills. People expect her to be able to hold a conversation, and she just can't yet. I find myself explaining amost constantly that she's barely two years old, and kinda reserved and shy to boot, just to get them out of DD's face with all these questions she doesn't know how to answer. She talks, but it's toddler talk, like "go kark" for "can we go to the park" or "mama milk now" for "mama I want some milk now" and when they hear her speak people start acting like there's something wrong with her, because of course they think she's three or four.

I'm not a big person at all, too, so I guess people don't immediately realize that she could just be big for her age. I'm barely 5'4". It's DH she gets her height from, but even he's not unusually tall-- only 6'. MIL says she has really tall as a kid though and only leveled off later, and that she had the same problems with people thinking he was older.

I worry about clothes, too, because she's thin on top of being tall. Right now, her big cloth diapers hold her pants up, but once she's in underwear, I don't know how I'm going to find pants that will stay up while also being long enough.

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#21 of 50 Old 09-13-2006, 12:03 PM
 
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Another tall one here... My DD is 2.5 and now just about 38" and 30 lbs....she is the tallest child in her preschool class... all I ever hear is " she is TALL!".... grrrrrrrrr....why can't people stop commenting on physical characteristics? I mean, I would never say " man, your kid is short, or fat"????:


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#22 of 50 Old 09-13-2006, 12:43 PM
 
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Sizing: landsend.com has stuff that fits tall/big kids really well. Target also sometimes has better fitting stuff.

My kids are giants. Sometimes people are just asshats.
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#23 of 50 Old 09-13-2006, 02:54 PM
 
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I take it as a compliment. Most people are very jealous . . . at all ages. Being tall is seen as a positive trait so I try to take it that way (even if someone would try to make us feel bad). I carry myself with pride and I want my kids to do the same.

I think most people just want to make small talk or are uncreative. I went to school with people who said nearly every day, "You're so tall." I chalk it up to poor social skills at some point.
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#24 of 50 Old 09-13-2006, 04:36 PM
 
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Bruden, I agree... it should be a compliment BUT I've had total strangers say to me " being tall isn't good for girls"....right in front of my DD... can you imagine?....


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#25 of 50 Old 09-13-2006, 04:50 PM
 
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Originally Posted by miasmommy
Bruden, I agree... it should be a compliment BUT I've had total strangers say to me " being tall isn't good for girls"....right in front of my DD... can you imagine?....
To that, I could only reply, "That's the most ridiculous thing anyone has ever said to me."
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#26 of 50 Old 09-13-2006, 05:14 PM
 
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My DD (May 2003 born) is off the charts and has been since 2months old. She is now 43" tall and is hard finding clothing. She is already in 7/8 size and even a few 10/12. Summer clothing was not bad but now that its getting cold its getting harder to shop for her.

I have been successful at finding some stuff from JCPenney and Kohls (which I believe is nationwide now).

My 10 month old DS also is off the charts and the doc was like he is as big as a 15 month old. People always comments on how big they are.
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#27 of 50 Old 09-13-2006, 05:22 PM
 
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My oldest ds is off the charts too.

He's now 10 and the size of a teenager.

He wasn't very verbal when he was little and he potty trained late so that was ummm, interesting.

I just ignored any looks.
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#28 of 50 Old 09-15-2006, 08:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by marybethorama
My oldest ds is off the charts too.

He's now 10 and the size of a teenager.

He wasn't very verbal when he was little and he potty trained late so that was ummm, interesting.

I just ignored any looks.
Ds has always been very verbal. So with his early language skills and his height, people have always thought that he is much older then he actually is. I suppose that it does not help that I am short. Dh is 6'2", but DS will probably pass him up at 13 y/o!

I just don't want Ds to think that something is "wrong" with him because people keep pointing out that he is tall. Like we hadn't noticed!

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#29 of 50 Old 09-15-2006, 09:46 AM
 
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My DS is pretty tall for his age too, we've been getting comments on it since he was younger. People always assume he's a year or two older than he is. To top it all off, he's behind in language so it looks like he's 5 with the vocabulary of a 2 year old (he's 3.5). People often ask him why he's not in school and he just looks back confused then starts babbling about a toy or something I also get comments about carrying him, strangers will feel the need to come up and tell him he's too old to be carried. He's 3! Granted, he's more than 1/2 my height - but he's still my little baby and I'll carry him for as long as I can (and as long as he wants me to).

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#30 of 50 Old 09-15-2006, 11:22 AM
 
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k is tall (37" at 32.5 months) and extremely verbal (on par with a kid 5 or 6), the only thing that kind of gives her away is her fluffy baby hair. she's like her uncle-- when he was 2, people would ask why he wasn't in at school in kindergarten!
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