I'm not sure how I feel about all this so I'm looking to you all for some different perspectives. My dd is 11 and developing. She has boobs, but not full grown adult sized. We bought a couple of bras at her request this past summer, but she hasn't worn them very much at all. Today we got a note from her teacher saying that dd needs to wear a bra or undershirt everyday.
My knee jerk reaction is "Who are you to tell me and dd what to wear in regards to underwear?" I mean, the weather has been chilly, so dd wears long sleeves, dark, thicker cotton tops/sweatshirts. No halters, no see thrus etc. What the heck is showing that needs to be covered? I don't wear a bra everyday and I'm fairly hefty so maybe I'm missing something. It's not like she's not wearing deod. and stinking up the room.
What's next, come spring a note telling me we have to have her pits and legs shaved?
Anyway, I tend to get pissy and rebellious when told I "have ' to do something, so I need an outside point of view.
SAHMlovin' fan to DD 10/00 & DS 10/04 If your ds is intact, keep him safe, visit the Case Against Circ forumCirc, a personal choice, Your sons11/986/99anti-tobaccoThyroid cancer survivor. With & & (Boxer) wishing 4 &
I don't care what the dress code is or what reasons that teacher has for expecting your DD to wear a bra or undershirt. That is just...wrong. I think wearing a bra is a personal choice. Even if you are a 40GGG and they hang to your belly button, it's nobody's business if you choose to support them or not.
But I agree with the pp's. You should find out why the note was sent home and go from there. But ultimately, if your DD is dressing modestly and is covered, they can't decide what underwear she wears, if any at all.
Geez, isn't it hard enough for little girls to make the transition into womanhood? They don't need to worry that people are thinking about their underwear and judging them!
This might be a good time to explain to your DD why society expects women to wear bras and let her know that it is ultimately her choice.
angela's idea to write a letter to the teacher with cc's to higher ups is a good game plan.
but before doing that i would give the teacher one shot to explain her reasoning...give her an opportunity to either redeem herself or to thoroughly wedge her foot into her mouth even farther.
: She has no right to tell you that....
Bethany, crunchy Christian mom to Destiny (11) Deanna (9), and Ethan (2)
Originally Posted by paquerette
If you need some info to back up bras potentially being a health hazard, http://www.brafree.org/ is a good site.
After a quick read it looks like the same info, but presented a little more evenly. Without the weird pics.
I know of a situation in a school where one girl was singled out for criticism for her outfit, despite the fact that she was dressed basically identically to her classmates (you know how girls that age are -- there's an unwritten uniform!).
Anyway, the girl that got criticized for dressing inappropriately was the only one that had developed breasts. :
The parents said hey, that's harrassment and the school backed down.
Originally Posted by jennnk
From the other side...I WISH a teacher had told my mom that I needed to wear a bra. I got teased mercilessly because I didn't, and my mom didn't believe that. If a teacher had stepped in (because I know they heard it, and they knew it was going on, and they told the kids to stop but that just made it worse), maybe that would have stopped the torment. As it was, I wasn't allowed to wear one until I was 14, and by that time the damage was done. I'd have a talk with your daughter, ask if kids are bothering her about not wearing a bra, and if it bothers her, then let her wear one, but if it doesn't politely explain to the teacher that you appreciate her concern but DD has chosen to go brafree and that is her right as a growing woman.
Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) , Emma (5/03) , Evan (7/05) , & Jenna (6/09)
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing Aaron Ambrose (11/07)
I made my daughters wear them when going out of the house when they began developing. It became too obvious and an attention grabber, and I did NOT want others to be paying attention to that part of their bodies. They were only children and I felt like I was protecting them from sexual preditors (be it adults or their peers). I will do it again with my next daughter when her time comes.
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.