Dd is only 8 mos. old and I have her in a sling sometimes in the morning while getting ready to go to work. I wear minimal makeup but makeup nonetheless... I feel like I'm sending such a bad message. I want dd to grow up knowing that she's beautiful naturally and here I am covering my face... I remember my own mother putting makeup on in the morning and just assuming that when I got to a certain age that is what I would do as well. I never even guessed that not all adult women wore makeup. (off topic.... I remember her looking happy putting makeup on because she would smile to get the blush on her cheekbones and I was too young to know about fake smiles...)
Soooo.... do I quit wearing makeup? (I don't think I can stand it... if I had perfect skin, no problem, but I like to cover the zits when they rear up). Do I not let her see me putting on makeup? (Seems pretty hypocritical to me AND dishonest) or what??
My dh prefers I not put any makeup on so on weekends I'm pretty natural but I basically lack the self confidence to go to work without at least SOME on. Any thoughts?:
My dh would rather I not wear it too.
don't know if that sheds any light on the discussion whatsoever, but thought i'd toss it out,
The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it. We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.
She would wake up at some stupid hour (like 4am) to put her make up on before her boyfriend woke up and saw her "naked". She'd climb back into bed when her face was on perfectly, just in time for his alarm to go off..........
I never did "get" that??????
I think it can be seen as the same thing as high heels, or suit jackets, or other "professional" accoutrements. I am a SAHM but am on several committees that require me to get out my professional clothes, I usually put on some perfume, etc. (I pretty much never wear makeup, though, and if I do, it's just lipstick applied in the car when I get there.) But my dd has picked up on the difference -- the clothes, the shoes, the earrings, the perfume -- and will now say "Hey, where are you going?" well before I actually leave.
I think makeup can be part of the same thing -- something grownups do to look professional. No biggie.
When I was growing up my mom wore TONS of makeup and spent hours on her hair(blow drying, curling iron, lots of hairspray), she spent lots of money on nice clothes, shoes, jewlery. And I went through a phase where I did the same thing, but it just didn't feel right to me. I remember thinking so many times "my mom is so beautiful, what is she trying to hide?". Now, I hardly ever where makeup but simply because its too much trouble and really I could care less.
My mom was obsessed about appearance when I was growing up. She'd never leave her room without her makeup and clouds of hairspray, she would tell me that I should start wearing it if I wanted to look presentable (starting from when I was 14), constantly picked me over for skin blemishes, ect. I guess it's not too surprising that I don't wear it and never did. For a long time I was extremely disparaging of makeup, but now I realize that it was her own internal unhappiness (that affected many other aspects of our life together too).
I know PLENTY of women who grew up with positive associations (or neutral ones) of their moms and makeup...it was something mom did to freshen up or make herself feel a little "pretty-boost" before going out, it was something she did before going to work, they had a good time watching her or chatting with her while she put it on, ect.
Just because you put on makeup does NOT mean that it's negative, it's all in how you relate to it. It sounds like you are just fine with yourself, you don't "need" it. Everyone has their likes/dislikes/quirks/boosts...it's healthy for your daughter to see you doing something that you like to do! She'll make her own decision about it when she's older.
I think natural faces are so beautiful. Unless you've got skin like mine. I have a clear complextion, but my skin is very fair and I pretty much look like a corpse without makeup. People don't believe me until they see me without it. I don't wear much and it's not worn like spackle, but without a little, I do look a bit...well, dead.
I tell my son not to wear those pants to school anymore and when he wore is "outside" shoes to visit family this weekend, I wanted to scream, "we're not slobs". We want to do the best for our kids and for ourselves...wanting to look and feel our best isn't a terrible thing, imo.
But my dd sees me without makeup often and when she says she has to wear this or that to be pretty, I make her look at herself in the mirror and tell her she's gorgeous just like that.
so hopefully my daughter (if i have one) will do the same..i only wear it for my husband at home or if i go to a girlfriends house for a get-together and there are *only* females there, then i wear it and put a veil over my face while i'm out and take it off when i get inside...
so my situation is very different from all of yours thought this might cause some confusion and get u girls thinking.lol
Helping women overcome postpartum depression and birth trauma. http://www.postmommyhood.com
|I want dd to grow up knowing that she's beautiful naturally and here I am covering my face...|
My mom never wore makeup, no hair stuff other than shampoo, no nothing! I started wearing nail polish to school when I was 10, eyeliner at age 11, and a full (and quite garish) face when I was 12. I look at pictures of me at age 13 on family camping trips and shudder - all of the pictures are of me putting on makeup! All this teal eyeshadow, fuschia cheeks and lips...yikes! And the worst thing is, I couldn't just stick with one shade of shadow - I usually went with teal, purple and pink.
I also crimped my hair a lot.
Fortunately now I wear minimal makeup, no nail polish, and don't do much with my hair. I don't feel that I'm being a traitor to feminism or a bad role model; I think there's more to that than makeup. I think I've got so much good stuff to pass on that some of it is bound to rub off and will be there whether or not dd chooses to wear makeup.
I thought I was GORGEOUS. We should have hung out and been gorgeous and fabulous together, GB.
My nails were usually painted dark pink with light pink spots and sliver sparkles. :
otoh, my mil and sil are of the "don't go out of the house w/out their face on" ilk and i think it's cute that they play make-up w/my girls but i don't want that to rub off on my girls either.
i think like everything - it's the in moderation - happy medium - that will be best.
WOHM married to SAHD, living the dream w/our: 3 girls (14,12,10) and 3 boys (7,5,3) and tie-breaker due Jan 2014
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