AP--doing things different the second time around - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 04-06-2003, 09:08 PM - Thread Starter
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Anyone else here, or have been here?
I had my son almost 3 years ago, and was living in a smallish, midwestern town. I was pretty young, a very unexpected pregnancy, but dh and I were excited and took parenting our new babe very seriously. I had never heard of a sling, knew 2 women who had ever breastfed, didn't know anyone who co-slept, etc.
I remember when ds was a few days old and napping in his crib. When he started making noise, I went in to go get him, and my mom said "let him be alone for a little while, it's good for them". I thought she *must* know what she's talking about : , but went in to pick him up anyway, because that's what felt right. We ended up having him sleep with us every night since our first night home from the hospital (at 2 months, our mothers were very worried about this!) and breastfed for the first half year--not as long as I had planned, but others thought it was incredible. :
As I've raised him, I've learned to trust my mother's instinct and to do what feels right that I'll remember with this next baby--holding often, responding to cries (we've always done that), breastfeeding, not circing, and doing what makes sense and what is best for the child but, for what ever reason, others often have a problem with. I've learned that others don't always have the answers, and that it is so important to trust yourself.
This time I will breastfeed my baby and use nothing else, no matter how many other people tell that they supplemented with their children and that it worked. I will not feel pressure to do stupid things like circumcise, and I will let him/her sleep with us for as long as they please. I'm excited about buying my first sling, probably a maya wrap, and holding my baby close all the time instead of lugging that damned car seat. AP just makes so much sense, and just feels right. I think it's partly about fully trusting yourself as a parent to do what is right, and in result having a connected child.
I am SO excited to have this baby, and to be the kind of parent that I want to be. Is anyone else planning to do it differently the second time around, or have you? What differences have you noticed?
Thanks for letting me share my story.
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#2 of 3 Old 04-06-2003, 11:32 PM
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I was AP with DS without really knowing it, but this time around we will do these things differently- use the side car/co sleeper immediately- DS had a crib and a bassinett, etc that we set up and used for maybe 7 minutes! I will use my sling more- partially because I have a 2.5 year old to take care of as well.

I think DH and I listened to our instincts and my mom is pretty AP, so it was what worked for us without a lot of planning for it. Hoping that this time will be just as natural feeling too! Oh, yeah someone gave us the Sears Baby Book and I started reading it when DS was 4 weeks and was like- hey- this guy is validating what we are doing...oh goodie!

Mama to 3 kiddles. joy.giffencing.gif Doing my best and trying to stay afloat.vbac.gif

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#3 of 3 Old 04-07-2003, 12:27 AM
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Good for you!! Though I don't consider myself (or DH) an AP parent, I relished the decision to co-sleep with our second daughter from the start! We struggled with the crib, trying to put our first daughter down after we'd rocked her to sleep (she ALWAYS woke right back up--AAHHH!), and wondering if doing the "easy" thing--putting her in bed with us--was "spoiling" her. It was so wonderful to be much more restful each day because we all slept better when co-sleeping (my older daughter was in her own bed by the time dd#2 came). People marveled at my being out of the house so soon! I tell everyone who is pregnant now what I learned: sleep with your newborn!!! Really, if you think about it, your baby is with you for 9 months and then we are taught by the mainstream culture to put her by herself, in a dark room, far away from mama. Makes NO sense to me.

Mamaley, I'm so glad you've decided to breastfeed this time. I barely could with each child, simply because both girls got bad latches and I was so sore, I couldn't take it. Wish I'd been able to get past it, I really do.

One word about the Maya Wrap, though: it can be tricky to get the hang of at first (what I hear; I personally own a Kissasling, by the makers of Kissaluvs diapers-- love it!!) but once you do, you'll love it! I think carrying your child in a sling is such a beautiful way to parent; wish more mainstream stores would promote them!

Best wishes

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