I am losing my mind - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 09-29-2006, 11:47 AM - Thread Starter
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I didn't quite know where to post this but since its a sleep issue, a discipline issue and a parenting issue so I thought I'd put it here. I am seriously losing my mind. I want to just pick up and leave everything. My 8 month old is not sleeping, at all. She is awake the majority of the night and naps maybe a total of 45 minutes ALL day! Last night I got 55 minutes of sleep. We are living with my inlaws and my MIL is constantly on my case to clear out the garage (we have some of our stuff stored in there) and when I mentioned getting rest this weekend she had a fit. My DH is pissing me off, he has gone out twice this week and come home late and he says I am overreacting to everything and that he's tired too. I am getting to the point where I am yelling at my kids constantly, I can't stand to be around them. I feel like I am going to throw up I am so tired. DH is home from 12 pm on every day until January. MIL and FIL are home by 4 pm. You'd think this would mean I would have help and could get rest but nope, I am supposed to be doing something every second of the day. If FIL is playing with the kids then I am not supposed to rest I am supposed to be doing some task or another. I am about to lose my mind and I feel like running away. Or killing MIL. Don't worry thats not a death threat, I'm not that insane. The baby just WILL NOT SLEEP! I have tried everything - Baby Calm, Hylands, Motrin, Teething gel, Tylenol - nothing works. I can't co-sleep because I am a severe insomniac but I have even tried that over the last 3 weeks but it doesn't work, she just crawls all over and plays, even if we ignore her. DH is making me so mad - he is not taking seriously how stressed out I am. I just want to scream at the top of my lungs that someone needs to listen to me and let me get some damn sleep already! I don't have PPD - this is completely due to sleep deprivation. I so understand how sleep deprivation is a form of torture.

Shawna, married to Michael, mommy to Elijah 1/18/01, Olivia 11/9/02, and Eliana 1/22/06
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#2 of 6 Old 09-29-2006, 11:57 AM
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Have you tried taking the baby for a drive in the car? Or maybe using a baby swing?

<hugs> to you -- sleep deprivation is horrible. Hang in there!
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#3 of 6 Old 09-29-2006, 12:00 PM
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I'm so sorry you're going through this, Mama.

Is it at all possible for you to sit down with Dh, MIL and FIL and explain the situation? It's totally unfair for you to be the only care provider for the babe when there are 3 other, capable and supposedly loving, adults in the home with you. One idea could be to just designate a time, every day, to retreat to your room, shut the door and be alone to rest, read, sleep, or whatever. You could even hang a sign on the door that says Do Not Disturb Unless Fire Or Massive Amounts Of Blood Are Involved...Then let your ILs bitch about it. They'll eventually learn to get used to it. Just because you are a mom does NOT mean you're supposed to be working every last moment of the day.

Or maybe you can go on Night time strike, where you just let dh deal with the baby unless she absolutely needs to nurse.

I'm sure I'm not giving any suggestions you haven't already considered, but I just had to reply. My kiddo nursed EVERY HOUR for the first 12.5 months of his life. And they weren't little 30 second nursings, either...Like a full 10-15 minutes. So I totally get how overwhelming exhaustion can make things seem.

Hang in there, Mama!

addicted, homeschooling, freelancing mama to DS 8. Pet mama to Harvey the Wonder Mutt :, Pnut: and Autumn : Oh, yeah, and
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#4 of 6 Old 09-29-2006, 12:35 PM
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Oh, mama, that is so awful. There's nothing worse than lack of sleep. I hate that feeling of nausea from sleep deprivation, and trying to get through the day watching the minutes on the clock crawl past so you can try to go back to sleep again. Its just insane. Its just insane that the people around you won't support your need for sleep.

Since they won't help, do you have any friends that could come watch the kids for you while you try to nap? If MIL, FIL, and DH complain, tough sh$t. They're not the boss of you.
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#5 of 6 Old 09-29-2006, 12:38 PM
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That sounds awful.

Is she awake and happy or awake and crying?

Awake and happy I'd plunk her in a baby holder of some sort (pack n play, etc) and take a nap.

DH needs to step up to the plate. If he's home every day at 12- you need a nap for you every day at 1. Period. Don't let him say no.

hang in there!

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#6 of 6 Old 09-29-2006, 12:57 PM
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I really feel for you, especially living with your DH's parents. It sounds like a rough situation.

If I were you, I would let my DH read your original post. It sounds like he doesn't really know how stressed out and tired you are.
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