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#1 of 6 Old 04-08-2003, 10:47 AM - Thread Starter
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#2 of 6 Old 04-08-2003, 11:17 AM
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sounds like your dh needs to talk to her. And keep talking to her until she understands.
Its sounds like she is incredibly annoying. I don't know how you put up with it...

Mom of a 7 yr old, 4 yr old, and 1 yr old. Wow. How did that happen?
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#3 of 6 Old 04-08-2003, 11:35 AM
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Yep, keep talking to her and hopefully it will sink in (he may be 16 by that thime but...) I would say stuff like
"No, if he needed a sip of water, he would take one."

"Please ask him to hug him first, he really likes it when people respect his personal space."

"Actually, it looks as if he is really into that game, why don't you just let him finish it?"

"He is a child, not a trained seal, he doesn't have any 'tricks'."

If it doesn't work I recomend morphine!

Evergreen- Loving my girls Dylan dust.gifage8, Ava energy.gifage 4 and baby Georgia baby.gif (6/3/11).

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#4 of 6 Old 04-08-2003, 11:48 AM
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Wow. Quelle patience.

My mom has definite tendencies in this direction, and what emerged is that it is what she does when she is feeling insecure. She just isn't sure what to do, and doesn't like to admit it/ doesn't want to be told what to do. She usually visits for 3 days at a time, and she is always much much better by the end of that time than at the beginning. I had to be pretty stern at first though -- "wait for dd to come to you!", rather than grabbing her immediately. Etc. (My mom HATES that... she really wants to just grab dd and hug her right away, and especially when dd was younger, she (dd) reacted strongly and that got everything off to a bad start.)

With this kind of very clear direction combined with an understanding that my mom was feeling kinda awkward, we've worked things out pretty well now, and dd loves to see her grandma.

One thing to be careful of is to try to not let your own distaste get in the way. My parents did not get along with either of their parents (my grandparents), and I had no relationship to speak of with my maternal grandparents while I was growing up. Visits were just to be endured. Then, as my parents got older, after I had left for college, they started to become closer to their parents, and were sad that I was so "distant." I tried, but I'd already missed out on a whole lot due to my parents' attitude. I've tried to be super careful about that with my parents and my dd, since I have significant problems with my parents, and that has been going pretty well so far. They love her, she loves them.
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#5 of 6 Old 04-08-2003, 11:52 AM
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Since you hardly see your MIL all that much I think you are getting WAAAY too hung up on these problems. DS will have her own relationship with her. So what if its not as perfect as you think it should be. She is really not doing anything harmful, so just let her deal with him on her own.
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#6 of 6 Old 04-08-2003, 09:53 PM
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Oh my... she sounds exactly like my MIL - who's in town right now for the week ?? !?!?! ugh.

My little 10wk old has a personality, gives cues, and we respond - she sees her as any other baby and tells me that babies cry and it's okay. That's totally against our parenting style and if she'd just spend some time around my dd to learn about her (instead of constantly clicking the camera and talking to her without letting her get a coo in edgewise) then she would learn how to enjoy my daughter. Grr. I know I should just let it roll off my back - but I wish she'd see my dd as a little person and not just "a generic baby". Your title says it all!
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