Q. about kids' personalities - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 19 Old 04-08-2003, 10:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Mamas of toddlers and older children - did they keep the same personality they had as a baby as they got older? If you had a mellow, happy baby did you have a (relatively) easygoing 3 year old, for instance? Or did your normally sunny babe turn into Ivan the Terrible Two-Yr.-Old? Taking into account normally occuring good and bad days, of course. Maybe you had a grouchy baby who cheered up over the years? Anyway, just wondering...
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#2 of 19 Old 04-09-2003, 09:43 AM
 
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My dd kept her personality! To this day - she will be 8 in June - she is still extremely independent and self directed. My ds, Lord I hope that boy doesn't remain THIS DEMANDING his entire life!!!!! He is my happly little lap baby and isn't happy unless I am holding him! We bought a swing before he was born - it is now decorating the attic! I so love that little guy!

My dd -- independence can also translate into "clumsy", "accident prone", and my personal favorite "gravity challenged"! She gets all those things natually, through genetics. I am the exact same way!!!!!
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#3 of 19 Old 04-09-2003, 09:53 AM
 
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Justice2...my dd, at almost 16 is as demanding and high maintenance as she was when she was a baby. she is truely an orchid, needing lots of "tending".

my boys were very "good", "easy" babies, but turned into little devils when they were about 18months. my middle boy is now almost 13 and a joy, very easy and laid back, he just had a 3 1/2 yr period where we couldnt leave the house! my youngest, who is just turned 5, was our "best" baby, and has been a handful since he turned 2. i am assuming he will "turn the corner" anyday now, and revert back to his mellow, easygoing self, that he used to be. (oh goodness, i hope so)
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#4 of 19 Old 04-09-2003, 11:16 AM
 
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Great question!

My three-year old DD was a very happy baby. I remember taking her into a hallmark store when she was 5 months old and she was just staring at me, giggling and giggling and hiccupping and people kept commenting "she's so happy!" Well, admittedly, she went through a real cranky phase for several months (if not a year!) but has emerged and is once again one of the happiest, most enthusiastic little girls you ever saw. She is delighted when she sees the moon, delighted when it rains, delighted when it's time to eat...you get the picture.
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#5 of 19 Old 04-09-2003, 11:32 AM
 
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Yep, my three guys all still have the same personalities and dispositions that they've had since birth. They are now 12, 8 and 5.
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#6 of 19 Old 04-09-2003, 11:36 AM
 
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My dd has had the same personality since birth. Since before birth!
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#7 of 19 Old 04-09-2003, 11:43 AM
 
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I *really* think that a child's personality should be looked at independently from how difficult they are to parent at any given time. First because it seems to shed a negative light on their personalities if they are perceived as "needy" or "demanding." Secondly, because the same personality traits may cause a child to be more needy at some stages, and less at others.

My older son, for instance, has definately maintained the same basic personality since infancy. But he was a high need infant, but is a low maintance 6 year old. He hasn't changed, but he is able to meet his own need for stimulation more independently now.

My little guy has always been fairly placid and easy going. But also needs lots of snuggling, and he wakes more at night than he did as an infant. Again, I don't think his temperment changed. I think his capabilities allow him to seek what he needs in a different way now.

Overall, I think they have both maintained the same temperment. But how that temperment is played out in relationships has changed with age.

My oldest is very logical, thinks things out, likes to talk and question things. He likes to see and know what is going on around him, and he is very sensitive. These tendencies cause him frustration when he is too small or incompentent to be successfull at them, but the older he gets to more satisfied he becomes with himself as his ability to explore independently broadens. That has always been true.

My youngest has a good sense of humor, he is possessive of his people, his space and his things. He likes sports and physical activity, and he likes to be snuggled a lot. Those things have always been true about him.
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#8 of 19 Old 04-09-2003, 01:45 PM
 
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My dd, now four, was a pretty "easy" baby and toddler - no tantrums, generally happy, etc. She is still a very positive child - usually wakes with a smile on her face, rarely gets cranky, but she is very bright and is extremely strong-willed and persistent, so we have a little attorney on our hands - always arguing every point to death!!! It can be very hard to discipline her!

She is and has always been extremely adaptable and sociable, though, which is a wonderful trait as far as I'm concerned - guess it's because I'm an extrovert myself, and so is dh!
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#9 of 19 Old 04-09-2003, 01:56 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by famousmockngbrd
Mamas of toddlers and older children - did they keep the same personality they had as a baby as they got older? If you had a mellow, happy baby did you have a (relatively) easygoing 3 year old, for instance? Or did your normally sunny babe turn into Ivan the Terrible Two-Yr.-Old? Taking into account normally occuring good and bad days, of course. Maybe you had a grouchy baby who cheered up over the years? Anyway, just wondering...
My six year old daughter is a true drama queen, whines cries drums up the attention but was a mellow baby.
My son who is 2 was a high needs baby is a high needs toddler.
Jack is 1, and is mellow as can be. I'll be looking for the change around three.
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#10 of 19 Old 04-09-2003, 02:08 PM
 
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My oldest has gone through phases. When she was three and a half she was dreadful for about six months, but she never was a problem as a two year old. She's now five and she's fairly easy.

My two year old is an easy, sunny child. She's now going through they typical two year old stuff, but under it all, she's still easygoing.
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#11 of 19 Old 04-09-2003, 07:15 PM
 
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I was wondering the same thing but sort of on a different level. Like, ds (15 months) took 2 months of being on his hands and knees before really attempting to crawl. Now that he is cruising, he will not tolerate taking a step if he is going to fall on his bum. I expect it will be a while (even though for the past 2 months everyone says "oh look at him! He'll be walking tomorrow!) before he walks independently - like he won't even try until he knows he will be 99% successful.

Anyway, I wonder if that type of personality will carry on in his life, like he will end up being really careful, or a perfectionist or something.
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#12 of 19 Old 04-09-2003, 09:29 PM
 
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hmm. . . I guess I'd have to say the personalities haven't changed much, but they go through stages where the stand-out components of their personalities can be more of a challange. Like my independant 3.5 year old. We're just leaving a stage where her independance was rabid, and getting to where she understands what she can and can't do. much easier now.

Good question! it's fun to think about stuff like this. . .
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#13 of 19 Old 04-10-2003, 03:32 AM
 
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My dd is only 2.5, so there's still plenty of time for change, but she was a really intense, high-needs baby who has mellowed out in a big way. When she was a baby, all my mom friends felt sorry for me, and now they envy me, LOL! She was so intense as a baby -- nursing all the time, had to be touching my body 24 hours a day, separation anxiety starting at 2.5 months, easily upset, determined to do things her own way (refused to ever let me feed her with a spoon and wouldn't eat solids at all until she could pick them up and feed herself) -- that I was really worried about the toddler years. Strangely, she is one of the easiest 2 year olds I have ever seen. Very compliant, very accepting of things, potty-trained very easily a few months ago, and now goes down for naps and nighttime all by herself in her own room with just stories, a lullaby tape, and a goodnight kiss from me.

owensmom, my dd was just like your ds -- very cautious about everything. All the other babies I would see would fall down constantly as they were learning how to walk and run -- my dd walked late, and almost never fell down during the whole process. She didn't crawl until 11 months, and didn't walk until almost 15 months. She's still the same way -- really has to warm up to new situations before feeling comfortable. I have learned the hard way not to rush the process! A recent example is the YMCA open gym near us that has a big trampoline. She was watching the other kids, and I thought she would like it, so I asked her if she wanted to try it, and she said no. I was convinced that she just needed to try it to see how fun it was, and climbed up on it with her -- of course, she protested vehemently and we had to get down right away. The next 10 times we went, she refused to go on it. After that, she would talk about the trampoline at home and tell me she had gone on it or that she would go on it next time. A few weeks of that, and she was willing to go on it -- for about 30 seconds. Then she insisted on getting down. The next few times, she would get on and get right off. Finally, this week, after we have gone to this open gym about 20 times, she wanted to go on, and bounced around happily for about 5 mintues! This is a very common experience with her.
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#14 of 19 Old 04-10-2003, 12:12 PM
 
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Nicole, that is very interesting! I can be impatient so I think I will have to learn to really read Owen and what he is ready for...
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#15 of 19 Old 04-13-2003, 04:51 AM
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Rain has changed a lot.

She was born with clear opinions, and as a baby she never cried as long as she was being held upright (or else nursing). I thought she was incredibly easy, compared to my 12 yrs younger sister who had colic and cried for no reason at all. Other people called her "high needs" because she cried if I put her down.

She has always been intense and energetic. Up until she was 6 or so she had a really hard time with change, and melted down regularly, and just took a lot of energy. Between 6 1/2 and 7 she seemed to sort of find her center, and since then (she's 10 now) she's been flexible, easy-going, and adaptable. She also went from being shy and clingy to being outgoing and "bye, Mom!" at around the same age.

Dar

 
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#16 of 19 Old 04-13-2003, 10:49 AM
 
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I'd say her personality has stayed the same--she's always been inquisitive, independent, strong-willed and very good at getting her needs met.
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#17 of 19 Old 04-13-2003, 09:17 PM
 
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My 2.5 year old ds is almost exactly the same as he was from Day 1. The predominant traits that define him, as I see it, are: stubborn, inquisitive, and social. Although they looked very different when he was 6 months old, he exhibited each of these characteristics back then, too. Mine is the stubborn baby who went on a 5 month hunger strike and refused the bottle completely when I went to work. I was kinda scared about how he'd be as a toddler when, during his infancy, everyone I know informed me that his personality was here to stay...but I must say, despite the challenges I find in parenting him, I love who the whole package of who he is and wouldn't dream of changing anything about him.
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#18 of 19 Old 04-14-2003, 09:05 PM
 
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Hi Jen! Nathan has always been on the go. He tried to hold his head up at birth, and was an incredibly wiggly baby. And strong willed.

He has also always loved being around people. Even as a little baby, he would try to interact with the people around him. It was almost embarrassing at times! He would stare people down in public places until they paid attention to him (from about 6 or 7 months).

My family calls him "high maintenance." He does require a lot of attention. But he pours all of that energy right back out!

I can't wait to see what kind of fun Cole gets into!
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#19 of 19 Old 04-14-2003, 11:10 PM
 
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My boys started out like this: S. was "the perfect baby." He never cried for more than a couple minutes. When he had his DPT shots at 4 months (yes! I know! I'm better informed now! ) he cried for about 8 hours and I was *shocked*!!!!! and beside myself because I had never ever seen him cry for real. (Ask me when I started to get more informed on vax, hmmm....) He took naps at exactly the same time every day--I am not a baby scheduler, he just came on some kind of Ezzo-auto-pilot. I loved it, of course--4 hour naps every afternoon, like clockwork. My house was spotless, I could schedule appointments, I could read books, I could cook multi-course dinners. Fabulous.

Then I had J. J. ate a lot, but only when he felt like it. Consequently, I was lopsided and frequently flamingly engorged for the three years we nursed. J. slept for the shortest periods he could survive on, whenever he was simply too exhausted to stay awake another second, which arrangement he never quite hammered out to his own satisfaction, I guess, since the duration and timing of his sleeping changed every single day.

Guess what? S., "the perfect baby" is a major control freak of a ten year old, rigid and dictatorial about having things his way. That fabulous convenient schedule I felt so privileged to have him just naturally ahere to? All his idea. That was his schedule and I worked around it. J., the exhaustive unpredictable child? He's an eight year old that is fine about playing another half hour if dinner is taking longer than I thought, who is comfortable sleeping at gramma's house or dad's house, or, heck, wherever, if bedtime is thrown off a little.

The rest of their personalities developed similarly: they were microcosms of themselves when they were babies. I am fairly confident that I can see what kind of thirtysomething men they'll be! My mother jokes that they should go into a joint medical practice: J. will be the obstetrician with the warm bedside manner; S. will be the geneticist working in the lab downstairs, making sure everyone turns out perfectly!
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