developmental delays - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 01-31-2002, 12:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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hello all, I am completely new to these forums. My husband and I are feeling a bit overwhelmed about a situation pertaining to our lovely 3 year old daughter Carter. She was born tongue tied, she literally could not stick the tip of her tongue over her bottom lip, at the age of two we opted to have a surgery performed that would snip it. Fortunatly it was very quick and by noon that day we were playing at home. Needless to say Carter is behind on her speech. her tongue functions perfectly now but she will not use it in speech. for example saying gog instead of dog.

We took carter to our local state run child development service, they are constantly assessing her, have determined she is approximtely one year behind on nearly everything-cognitively and speech wise, they want her to be assessed for physical delays next. Carter is advanced in her social skills, is constantly learning new skills, everybody that knows her adores her. She is a little extrovert, she loves to get people together holdng hands singing. I feel the agency is trying to place her in a box, mold her into somebody she is not. We believe in an alternative lifestyle. We had hoped to enroll her in a Montessori school-the agency adamantly opposses this, we had hoped to homeschool at least one year-again opposition.

We struggle because our friends and family all think Carter is just fine and the agency is freaked out wanting Carter to be in special preschool at least 4 times a week, have occupational therapy and speech therapy. All we really want for her is speech therapy-we've been on the waiting list for almost 1 year. We are beginning to feel uncertain about what we should be doing, the mainstream traditional agencies words are making us feel crazy.

has anyone dealt with this and been successful alternatively or mainstream? We want to support our daughter and are questioning our skepticism. How can we push our lovely child into a world we do not live by?
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#2 of 7 Old 01-31-2002, 01:13 PM
 
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I had a wonderful experience with our city's Early Intervention Program. My DD needed occupational therapy and physical therapy. She was only in it until age three, and it did wonders for her. I felt it in no way labeled her, in fact it gave her a chance to become more herself, once certain impediments were removed.
That said, I was very sure of what I wanted out of the program and when other things were suggested for my DD, I declined.
If all you want of the program is speech therapy then I would insist on only that.

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#3 of 7 Old 01-31-2002, 01:35 PM
 
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susanah- just wanted to say i'm thinking of you and your family.

i'm afraid i can't offer much advice- except to say that i believe you are correct to question question question question what you are told and to seek aditional opinions, and to push for what you feel is right.

i was a special education teacher- for much older children (middle school) and although i think the program i worked in was good for a few kids, i think the school system is far far to quick to push children into this type of setting.

that said, i only have experience with one system, and i'm sure there are others out there that are much more responsible and not so quick to label/exclude.

i so hope that this all works out for you and your family.
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#4 of 7 Old 01-31-2002, 03:09 PM
 
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hello and welcome to the boards! sorry my response is so long.

My older DD had a hearing problem that was corrected by surgery when she was 2. She had speech and language delays. (And gross motor and fine motor delays, and she has a mild sensory integration disorder).

Quote:
Originally posted by susannah
We took carter to our local state run child development service, they are constantly assessing her, have determined she is approximtely one year behind on nearly everything-cognitively and speech wise, they want her to be assessed for physical delays next...All we really want for her is speech therapy-we've been on the waiting list for almost 1 year.
Why do they keep assessing but not providing speech therapy? Having watched my DD go through more hearing tests than I can count (as well as a variety of other assessments) I think these things are hard on kids, esp. when they happen over and over and over. I know that some were necessary for to figure out what was going on and what needed to be done, but I just don't get the point of doing a bunch of assessments, finding out there is a problem, and then not activitely working on fixing the problem. It would make sense for you DD to have speech therapy; it was a wonderful thing for my DD. A good speech therapist could help find ways to get her to use her tongue.

Quote:
Carter is advanced in her social skills, is constantly learning new skills, everybody that knows her adores her. She is a little extrovert, she loves to get people together holdng hands singing.
She sounds like a sweetie!

Quote:
We had hoped to enroll her in a Montessori school-the agency adamantly opposses this, we had hoped to homeschool at least one year-again opposition.
These are your decisions, not theirs. It doesn't matter what they think. Just go straight tot he Montessori school. They may have services to help with speech issues, as well.

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the agency is freaked out wanting Carter to be in special preschool at least 4 times a week, have occupational therapy and speech therapy.
I think it must be hard to take them seriously since they can't even get her into speech. If speech therapy is available at the special preschool, ask them what time and tell them you will drive her there just for speech.

Quote:
has anyone dealt with this and been successful alternatively or mainstream?
What I did for Ali was to pick and choose what would help her. She went for speech therapy, and that is all. Our insurance paid for it, so we were at a hospital instead of a government agency which I think made it easier. Our speech therapist was super and really helped Ali. She also let my know what else was out there (special preschool, etc.) but never pushed any of it. When I told her that we are planning on homeschooling she said that the schools are required to provide speech therapy to homeschooled students who need it, just in case this was an issue later and our insurance stopped covering it.

I also worked with her a lot at home in really fun ways -- reciting nursery rythms, doing finger plays, cooking together, taking her to the park etc.

I also read everything I could find on early childhood education, brain development, speech development, etc. I think that there is a margin of error in raising our kids and that we don't have to do everything perfect for our kids to turn out just fine, but I feel the margin of error for some kids (like my older DD) is a lot narrower than for other kids who develop more typically. She is 5 and doing great now -- people who meet her now can't believe that she was ever delayed!

Will your DD use her mouth to do things like blow bubbles or blow on blow pens? These were 2 things the speech therapist suggested I do with Ali during the week to help her learn to move her mouth.
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#5 of 7 Old 01-31-2002, 05:46 PM
 
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My son was a late talker and the doctor who did his two year check (not our ped) insisted that we have him evaluated by a hearing and speach specialist. He wouldn't cooperate with the hearing test and they wouldn't do the speach part until he was older -- even they thought the doctor was overreacting. The day after his evaluation he began speaking in six word sentances -- a big shock to me.

When I spoke to OUR pediatrician about the whole experience whe said that he greatly overreacted and she knew our son was fine. Your daughter has two years of babblilng to make up for since she had the surgery at two. I think they are crazy to expect her to make such great leaps in just a year. My Ped gave me a list of sounds and when children are expected to master them. I'll look for it and get it to you. It is an eye opener. There are very few sounds that they are expected to master in the first few years.

The little one is crying, I must go. I'll look for that info for you.
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#6 of 7 Old 02-01-2002, 04:50 PM
 
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I'm a special ed teacher, have taught from preschool through high school.

No one can legally make you do anything.

She has some time to make up. Find a good speech therapist, and second & third opinions from people you are comfortable with regarding the other possible developmental delays. Surf the web & read books.

A good SLP (speech and language pathologist) will give you exercises to work on at home.

Blessings and follow your heart.
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#7 of 7 Old 02-03-2002, 06:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you all for you wisdom and support!
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