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Old 04-10-2003, 12:53 PM - Thread Starter
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As a child I remember having my mouth washed out with soap a few times. Just today I remembered.
I would never do that to my ds!
how cruel.
I found this quote about it,

The act of washing a child's mouth out with soap is a slow, careful, deliberate act of abuse. Excuses of losing control do not apply. If you are capable of forcing a lightly toxic (or worse, depending on the soap) substance into your child's mouth, not only can you not claim to respect that child, but you are a cold, calculating abuser."--- Kimberly Chapman

anyone else want to talk about this?
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Old 04-10-2003, 01:07 PM
 
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It is funny that you should mention that today because I was just thinking about it about 1/2 an hour ago. I brought my dd to the bathroom with me and sat her down on the rug. She grabbed my bottle of dr. bonners and started playing with it. Of course it went in her mouth. I ran it under the water to make sure there was no soap left on the outside of the bottle. That made me think of some friends who often had teeth marks in their soap because their son would have to take a bite. How gross. I agree that it is a horrible treatment for a child (even if the soap is non-toxic).
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Old 04-10-2003, 01:24 PM
 
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It is pretty stupid. I remember I said the F word once, I was like in 4th grade and had never said it before... never even thought about saying it... it was a "bad" word!! So, it slipped out when I realized we weren't going to be home to see something I wanted to see on tv (I was going to say fooey, which I never said either). Anyway, got the soap treatment. I have this vivid recollection that my mom felt like she had to do that because that is "the thing to do" in that situation, it seemed really out of character, but was almost like if it got around that she didn't do something drastic people would think less of her (she really needed the town's approval, small town...).
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Old 04-10-2003, 03:26 PM
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Dhs mom brags that she soaped her kids' mouths out with soap so much that they had the "runs" all the time.

I think it is just gross, and sick. You spend their whole toddlerhood trying to teach them not to put toxic stuff in their mouths, then you force them to when they are old enough to talk.

I would have sudsy teeth lately if I got soap in my mouth every time I swore.....dh is the truck driver, and here I am with a foul mouth.


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Old 04-10-2003, 05:39 PM
 
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I got soap in the mouth once, when I was four or five years old, for spitting at my little sister. The reason it was only once is because I threw up and my mom decided it wasn't worth the mess! LOL!

BTW, I certainly wouldn't call my mother an abuser... maybe just desperate and frustrated.
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Old 04-10-2003, 08:14 PM
 
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Moving this to parenting issues!
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Old 04-10-2003, 10:25 PM
 
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My mom did it maybe once or twice to all of us (six kids). By and large, she was a relatively easy going person, and I think it happened when we really pushed the limits.

While I don't think it's good parenting technique, and I wouldn't do it, I hardly think it constitutes "abuse." But I have to admit, one of my pet peeves is people labelling everything they don't agree with as "abuse." I think it is insulting to people who have genuinely been abused.

I have a nephew who loved to chew on soap when he was little, and it was a constant battle to keep him away from the stuff.
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Old 04-11-2003, 12:39 AM
 
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I remember my friend telling me when we were about 7 or 8 that her big sister had cussed and had to take a bite of Dial (that horrid smelly yellow soap), CHEW IT AND SWALLOW IT! GAAAAAAAAAAA! I have never shaken that image from my brain, it just floats through my thoughts every now and again. This was a pretty messed up family and she grew up to be a pretty messed up woman.
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Old 04-11-2003, 01:01 AM
 
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Friends of ours use HOT SAUCE - they are more friends of the in-laws, anyway the in-laws asked if I used it.......
I replied "ARE YOU NUTS?"

I'm sure that will cause an eating disorder or two........... or some weird feelings toward food.

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Old 04-11-2003, 09:22 AM
 
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I have a pretty traumatic memory of my mouth being washed out with soap....not a bar but that nasty pink public bathroom soap. When I was in 4th grade me and a friend were in the bathroom at school and I said "crap". Well a 3rd grader overheard me, told her teacher, and the teacher brought her whole class into the bathroom to demonstrate what would happen if you "cussed" at school. So she washed out my mouth with soap in front of all of them It was definantly one of the most humiliating moments of my childhood. I can't imagine the rath I would impose on someone who did this to my child
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Old 04-11-2003, 09:56 AM
 
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gaiamom...that's HORRIBLE! Just awful.

ITA w/ EFMom...except the soap-eating nephew. lol

btw, Zest tastes terrible.
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Old 04-11-2003, 10:18 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by gaiamom
I have a pretty traumatic memory of my mouth being washed out with soap....not a bar but that nasty pink public bathroom soap. When I was in 4th grade me and a friend were in the bathroom at school and I said "crap". Well a 3rd grader overheard me, told her teacher, and the teacher brought her whole class into the bathroom to demonstrate what would happen if you "cussed" at school. So she washed out my mouth with soap in front of all of them It was definantly one of the most humiliating moments of my childhood. I can't imagine the rath I would impose on someone who did this to my child
I would have seriously had an issue with this! I am not a violent person, but if someone had done this to either of my children I would have become violent. Ohhh, this really upsets me that an educator was able to get away with such a henious crime against a child.

BTY, my mom used Ivory, supposed to be nontoxic! Is that better?
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Old 04-11-2003, 03:55 PM
 
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We had to eat Lava, remember that stuff, it had some kind of grit to it, I think it was for mechanics...Our soap eating was just part of a lot of different kinds of abuse. I'm surprised that otherwise gentle parents have done this. To me it seems to go along with the kind of parenting style where you don't actually verbally discipline your children, you let your hands, belt, or whatever do the talking. My father is shocked that my kids are not terrors b/c we don't hit them. He has been waiting for the day, when he can say "I told you so", but our relationship with our kids is so wonderful. If they used words that I felt were not appropriate, I would tell them why I don't like the words. Duh! :

DS 12 DS 9 DD 6
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Old 04-12-2003, 07:47 AM
 
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I just wanted to add too that how many of us who had our mouths washed out with soap now cuss like sailors? It becomes more obvious to me all the time that, that type of parenting (or punishment) is so nonaffective and a lot of times incites kids to repeat the behavior out of anger about an abusive punishment. I recieved many harsh punishments as a child and really the only thing I learned is how to be more sneaky so I didn't get caught. Just thought I'd throw that in.
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Old 04-12-2003, 10:41 AM
 
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I had my mouth washed out with soap repeatedly. My mom thought she was doing a little better by not actually using the bar of soap. She would soap up a wash cloth and rub it on our mouths. She didn't care that the soap didn't get in, I don't think she wanted us to actually eat it, just that she "has made my point! Dirty words=dirty mouths and they need washing out"

How utterly stupid. I have still have to watch myself swearing. I did well when I was a teacher, just seemed to happen naturally. But, I am having a hard time at home. I tend to say "crap" alot and ds will tell me "mommy, can you use a better word?" Seems to work much better than soap!

Funny, ds has said some words here and there, and she hasn't suggested soap. I am hoping they are seeing that we do things drastically different than they did.
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