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Old 10-13-2006, 03:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am re-posting in the correct forum.


Would you let your elementary/middle school age child(ren) live with your parents during the week if it gave them better access to resources (such as schools or activities).

The child(ren) would come home on weekends, but would be gone all week.

Rebecca wife of Megan...moms to six crazy kiddos! Seth (15), Madison (13), Zachary (12), Trevor (12), Alex (10), and Nicholas (9)
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Old 10-13-2006, 03:33 PM
 
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I had a response all typed and they closed it! Anyway, my answer is no. I want my children to live with me and be raised by me. We moved (on purpose) when our children entered elementary school. We moved into a great school district (same city) and bought a house right down the street from the elementary school. I want to be the one to take my kids to school everyday, volunteer at the school, pick them up, go to school conferences, go to baseball after school, etc. I know it isn't always easy to move, but we planned on it as soon as we had children because we knew it was important to be in a good school district, so I think if you plan for it, there is no need for the kids to go live somewhere else. I also don't feel that is my parent's responsibility to raise my kids. They have done their duty!
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Old 10-13-2006, 03:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I completely agree with you.

I just can't imagine a situation where I would send my crew off to live with my parents or anyone else.

Rebecca wife of Megan...moms to six crazy kiddos! Seth (15), Madison (13), Zachary (12), Trevor (12), Alex (10), and Nicholas (9)
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Old 10-13-2006, 03:40 PM
 
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Yes, I agree. A child's parents are the greatest resources they can ever have. Well, at least in most families (I hope!).

I would not want anyone else to raise my children, unless absolutely necessary (i.e. DH and I dead).

And, yeah, as a side issue that would be a huge burden on the grandparents. I know far too many grandparents either virtually or even legally raising their grandkids, and it's so hard for them, and not the ideal situation for ANYone.

Homeschooling mama to 6 year old DD.

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Old 10-13-2006, 04:11 PM
 
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I would ask that person why they had children in the first place.
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Old 10-13-2006, 04:14 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Houdini View Post
I am re-posting in the correct forum.


Would you let your elementary/middle school age child(ren) live with your parents during the week if it gave them better access to resources (such as schools or activities).

The child(ren) would come home on weekends, but would be gone all week.
Yes. If I thought my children were mature enough. We are actually considering a boarding school for our daughter when she goes into the 9th or 10th grade. I am becoming a SDA (I'm waiting to get baptised) and this is quite common. Not all the kids live in dorms, some live with family church friends or relatives. I've talked to a great number of adults and current students that have gone off to live this type of arrangement, and they loved it.

Added: I went back and read the OP again and realized it said elementary children -- the answer would definitely be NO to that. A child that was 13 and 14 and had established values and was going into a similar home enviroment, it would have to be a Maybe.
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Old 10-13-2006, 04:38 PM
 
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No, I would not. BUT, my best friend did. She did not miss her DS at all.
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Old 10-13-2006, 04:48 PM
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I completely agree with you.

I just can't imagine a situation where I would send my crew off to live with my parents or anyone else.
Well, it was either that or be homeless and hungry living on the streets, and then my kids would be taken and put into foster care.
At least this way they are with their grandmother who loves them with all her heart and soul and they are in the best school available, never go hungry and have a safe home. They come here every week-end.
Also, I was the one who worked 3 jobs, paid off all my mother's debt and helped her buy a house. Not too many children have done anything more than a Mother's Day card for their mother.
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Old 10-13-2006, 04:49 PM
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Yes. I do. Both of my 10 yr olds stay with my mother during the week. Better schools and resources.
Also, if you read my past thread about us going homeless, it was just better for my family.
They don't go hungry, anymore. And we don't have to live on the streets.
They come home every week-end.
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Old 10-13-2006, 04:51 PM
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Originally Posted by jamsmama View Post
I would ask that person why they had children in the first place.
WTF? When I had my kids I was very well off, had a house, had two jobs, attending college, etc. Life gets rough sometimes. You never know when it will turn upside down.
Lose 8 children in your family in less than a year and see if you can live through the grief and stay on top of the world. :
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Old 10-13-2006, 04:53 PM
 
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No. I think family is the most important thing, even more so that better schools or learning resources.
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Old 10-13-2006, 04:55 PM
 
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I think a lot of us do more than a card for Mother's Day. I think that remark was a little snide.
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Old 10-13-2006, 05:25 PM
 
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Well, it was either that or be homeless and hungry living on the streets, and then my kids would be taken and put into foster care.
At least this way they are with their grandmother who loves them with all her heart and soul and they are in the best school available, never go hungry and have a safe home. They come here every week-end.
Also, I was the one who worked 3 jobs, paid off all my mother's debt and helped her buy a house. Not too many children have done anything more than a Mother's Day card for their mother.
mamaintheboonies, clearly your situation warranted it. But I don't think the OP mean't cases like your's (OP, I may be wrong).

I thought she just mean't being in a better school district, not because things were going awry in the family home.
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Old 10-13-2006, 05:32 PM
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mamaintheboonies, clearly your situation warranted it. But I don't think the OP mean't cases like your's (OP, I may be wrong).

I thought she just mean't being in a better school district, not because things were going awry in the family home.
Thank you for the hug. I did try to move to the cities, but the house we rented had lead and my kids got lead poisoning.
Where I am living now, there are no good schools, no resources for families like mine. My dd and ds are way better off living with my mother.
Yes, i miss them both like crazy when they are not here, and especially when I don't get to talk to them by phone for a few days. I wish life was fair, but it's not.
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Old 10-13-2006, 05:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes. If I thought my children were mature enough. We are actually considering a boarding school for our daughter when she goes into the 9th or 10th grade. I am becoming a SDA (I'm waiting to get baptised) and this is quite common. Not all the kids live in dorms, some live with family church friends or relatives. I've talked to a great number of adults and current students that have gone off to live this type of arrangement, and they loved it.
I think there is a big difference between 9th-10th grade and elementary/middle school age kids, though I doubt I would send them away even at that age.

Rebecca wife of Megan...moms to six crazy kiddos! Seth (15), Madison (13), Zachary (12), Trevor (12), Alex (10), and Nicholas (9)
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Old 10-13-2006, 05:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I could see it if it was temporary situation, though I would say we would all move in.

Now that you have a home, I guess I don't see why they would still be somewhere else.

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Originally Posted by MamaInTheBoonies View Post
Well, it was either that or be homeless and hungry living on the streets, and then my kids would be taken and put into foster care.
At least this way they are with their grandmother who loves them with all her heart and soul and they are in the best school available, never go hungry and have a safe home. They come here every week-end.
Also, I was the one who worked 3 jobs, paid off all my mother's debt and helped her buy a house. Not too many children have done anything more than a Mother's Day card for their mother.

Rebecca wife of Megan...moms to six crazy kiddos! Seth (15), Madison (13), Zachary (12), Trevor (12), Alex (10), and Nicholas (9)
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Old 10-13-2006, 05:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I can see the perspective this person is coming from.

I get some people come acrossed hard times, we have BTDT. I have never sent my crew to live with someone else.

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Originally Posted by MamaInTheBoonies View Post
WTF? When I had my kids I was very well off, had a house, had two jobs, attending college, etc. Life gets rough sometimes. You never know when it will turn upside down.
Lose 8 children in your family in less than a year and see if you can live through the grief and stay on top of the world. :

Rebecca wife of Megan...moms to six crazy kiddos! Seth (15), Madison (13), Zachary (12), Trevor (12), Alex (10), and Nicholas (9)
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Old 10-13-2006, 05:41 PM
 
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This is rampant where I live and not due to extenuating circumstances like MITB.

The cost of homes is very high here and the most affluent areas have the best schools as I am sure is true most areas. The big trend right now is middle class families who were brought up in affluent areas are buying big houses in what are traditionally less-affluent towns. Kind of get "more house for your money" and in some cases they can't afford to live in the town they "want" in the types of house they "want". In these less affluent towns property taxes, auto insurance are all less so even bigger bonus. Instead of working to improve the schools they send the children live with family so they can get the same "better" education their parents did.

Whats even worse is the parents who knowingly buy their big McMansions in bad school districts and then rent/buy an apt or condo in a "good" school district and use it as a mailing address. There was a big expose about that in the local paper recently.

that said in MITB case I would have done exactly what she did but in my current case I couldn't imagine sending my kids away just for a better education. If I didn't think the schools were doing a good job I would get involved, move or send them to private. I have that ability but know that many don't.

Pardon me while I puke.gif

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Old 10-13-2006, 05:43 PM
 
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I can't really say what I would do. It would truly depend on the circumstances at the time I needed to make a decision.

Kathy-Mom to Blake & Mikaela
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Old 10-13-2006, 05:54 PM
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Now that you have a home, I guess I don't see why they would still be somewhere else.
If they came to live with me, we would be over the housing limit and end up getting evicted and homeless.

I don't have the money nor resources to buy a house for us, yet.

My mother's house is too small for all of us to live there. She would end up losing her home and then there would be three homeless families, as one of my sisters and her family reside with my mother, also.
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Old 10-13-2006, 06:04 PM
 
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Has anyone looked into the legality of this? At least where I live the custodial party/legal gardian has to register the child for school. They must provide a birthcertificate for the child. If that is not a biological parent then court documents with proof of custody or gaurdianship must be shown. The custodial party/guardian has to show proof of residency be often a utility bill with their name on it or something else (legal) addressed to them at the proper residence.

So, I'm guessing that unless you went to court and had the grandparents named as guardian or something then the grandparents couldn't register the child at the school. Neither could the parents because they couldn't show proof of residency.
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Old 10-13-2006, 06:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Not meaning any disrespect (I am trying to understand), but....

Does the housing authority not know about your oldest kids? Why get a house that isn't big enough for all of you?

If your mom's house is bought...why would she be evicted?

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If they came to live with me, we would be over the housing limit and end up getting evicted and homeless.

I don't have the money nor resources to buy a house for us, yet.

My mother's house is too small for all of us to live there. She would end up losing her home and then there would be three homeless families, as one of my sisters and her family reside with my mother, also.

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Old 10-13-2006, 06:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Has anyone looked into the legality of this? At least where I live the custodial party/legal gardian has to register the child for school. They must provide a birthcertificate for the child. If that is not a biological parent then court documents with proof of custody or gaurdianship must be shown. The custodial party/guardian has to show proof of residency be often a utility bill with their name on it or something else (legal) addressed to them at the proper residence.

So, I'm guessing that unless you went to court and had the grandparents named as guardian or something then the grandparents couldn't register the child at the school. Neither could the parents because they couldn't show proof of residency.
This is exactly how it is in our district. The address being used must be the custodial parents/legal guardian's home. There are people who try to screw the system and illegally enroll their kids, which is why they have gotten so strict where I am. When my crew were in public school, we open enrolled them to the district my mom lives in. They got in only because there was room after all the kids in district were assigned classrooms.

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Old 10-13-2006, 06:34 PM
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Does the housing authority not know about your oldest kids? Why get a house that isn't big enough for all of you?
The only houses that were big enough were in the ghetto. I refuse to move back. There is a huge shortage of affordable housing for families outside of the inner city.

The apartment I am in right now, I am the first and, so far, only one who has a housing voucher. It has not been fun living here. When you use a voucher, you have to stay for an entire year....if you want to move, there are tons of obstacles you have to get through.

All you really have to do is read the posts on this thread and elsewhere to realize people don't care about other people, especially large families.
No one is going to purchase 4-5 bedroom homes in safe neighborhoods just to rent them to families living in poverty.
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Old 10-13-2006, 06:39 PM
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So, I'm guessing that unless you went to court and had the grandparents named as guardian or something then the grandparents couldn't register the child at the school. Neither could the parents because they couldn't show proof of residency.
You just sign a Power of Attorney paper here. No need to go to court or hire a lawyer. Just get it notarized at the bank.
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Old 10-13-2006, 06:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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All you really have to do is read the posts on this thread and elsewhere to realize people don't care about other people, especially large families.
No one is going to purchase 4-5 bedroom homes in safe neighborhoods just to rent them to families living in poverty.
Not really sure what this is all about. I haven't seen any posts on here that have indicated noone cares about other people or big families.

I honestly don't see renting a place with my kids living somewhere else. I have had to move from places I lived and live with others....I would have never sent my kids somewhere else.

I guess I don't get the reasoning.

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Old 10-13-2006, 06:42 PM
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I haven't seen any posts on here that have indicated noone cares about other people or big families.

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I would ask that person why they had children in the first place.
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I would have never sent my kids somewhere else.

I guess I don't get the reasoning.
Well, hopefully, you will never be in a position to understand.
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Old 10-13-2006, 06:43 PM
 
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Well, I rescind my initial response on the grounds that it was in response to a very vague initial post.

Based on the OP... no, I still wouldn't. Not just to "take advantage of better schooling opportunities."

But I don't know if more details would change my mind.

Also I'm a person who went to boarding school in 9th grade, and loved it (I chose that path and felt it was the right one for me). I was also raised by a very attached mother (well, parents, actually). Anyway, I still wouldn't board kids younger than 9th grade either under the regular circumstances that I can think of off the top of my head.

Homeschooling mama to 6 year old DD.

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Old 10-13-2006, 06:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, hopefully, you will never be in a position to understand.

Ok....I forgot the first one.

As far as my comments go.....there is no situation I would ship my kids off for. We stick together no matter what.

Sorry you felt you had no other choice.

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Old 10-13-2006, 06:45 PM
 
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whooo-eeee! Was there a sale on "judgment jeans" this week?
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