When They're Older... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 04-13-2003, 04:05 PM - Thread Starter
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Another thread got me thinking, up until our children are a certain age we have a great deal of control over who they play with, what they watch on tv (if at all), what they wear, etc.
So what happens when our children are teenagers and make friends of their own and get jobs?
Can we dictate what they wear if they earned the money that bought those clothes?
Can we determine who their friends are without running the risk of alienating them and pushing them closer to kids we think are "bad influences"?
I worry a lot about making sure that I am teaching Maeryn values and how to make good choices so that when she is older I"ll be able to trust her to do the right thing.
What do you think?
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#2 of 3 Old 04-13-2003, 06:00 PM
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I think the choice thing is key. Our babies need opportunities to make choices and live with the consequences. And to have a support system/safe environment in which to take risks (I don't mean unsafe ones) and make mistakes. Also, I'm hoping if they know how important they are, they won't try to prove it.

This is based on my experience teaching, not parenting.
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#3 of 3 Old 04-14-2003, 12:26 AM
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I would hope that my children would make good choices but if they don't I won't hesitate to put my foot down. teenagers are at such a hard placre. Still children but old enough to think they should be treated like adults. i don't think most teenagers have everything they need to make good choices all the time about the stuff they are faced with and the pressure that accompanies it. Did that make sense.

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

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