She is generally an outgoing baby. SHe is into other people alot, very interested and freindly. But this just seemed too far to me, ya know? I don't think it would bother me so much if my first dd weren't such a daddy's girl. She has been a daddy's girl since about 6 months and always wanted him when he was home. Would have nothing to do with me. I was prety sensitive about this, but grew to accept it and her. Then with my second I was hoping for a mommy's girl. I know she loves me. I know they both do. Hero and i have a great relationship. She nurses frequently and comes to me for comfort at all times. Generally I feel ok about us. But she is very attatched to this friend, and tonight just pushed me over the edge. I have never seen another baby act this way. It just feels like I give so much and do so much, and love doing it, but still don't have an 'attached' girl. Part of me says 'count your blessings'. Dh and I can go out without much of a fuss , most of the time. I get a free hand whenever grandma, or anyone she knows, or anyone she barely knows is around. But I feel hurt inside. I can't help it. I feel like I've messed up in some area I don't even know about. What do the parent's of these attached babies do different? Babies who don't leave mama's side until they're 3 or 4? I do so much. I love her so fiercly. I just hope she knows how much...
Thanks for listening...am I alone? Is anything wrong with her? with me? with us?
you have provided your daughter w/an excellent foundation, and she feels safe enough w/her relationship w/you, to spend time w/others. her wanting to nurse the other mom (which would make me fiercely jealous too), is just her way of telling the other woman (hehe, the "other woman") what makes her feel good. what a great mom you must be that she feels secure enough to share this w/her!!
while i would be feeling the same way as you (and please believe me, i was so pleased after reading your post that my son hasn't done this), it only means that you are fulfilling her needs!
please pat yourself on the back for a great job! you are raising a delightful, independent, self-confident, self-assured little girl. wtg!!
that would have killed me too.. I guess as a WOH mama I feel really sensitive about dd liking others.. especially women. I am more jelaous with her than with dh
but I have to second/third what others said about you doing a great job with your dd.
when I get home and on weekends, Ana just clings to me. (not that I mind) I often feel bad because I feel like I am hurting her by going to work during the week (even though dh stays home with her, and I know she gets the best care, I just wish I was here with her) I feel like I am making her less secure, etc, etc. so to me, it sounds like you have a dd who is 100%+ completely secure with you. and it is a good thing
does this make sense?
I think we as mothers need to be easier on ourselves.. can you tell I'm insecure with my WOH?
best of luck!
My second child was a son who was very much *my* baby. Nurturing him reminded me of what I was missing with my daughter and so I reached out to her right at a time when she was ready to reach to me also.
So it gets better.
I still love you.
I don't take it very seriously, and her mom (my friend) just laughs or says "good luck!" (I'm not lactating ) - the daughter seems to like everyone, and while we have a relationship, I don't think we have an terribly strong bond - nothing to compare to their mother/child bond. I assume she's just curious, likes nursing, maybe recently noticed other women have breasts, and she isn't clear on the social rules - that nursing usually only happens with mothers.
I don't have kids yet (1st expect in Nov. 2003!), so I don't want to say I know how that would feel. I just wanted to say I've seen a few other kids do this, too, and know that they had strong, one-of-a-kind loves for their wonderful mamas, and I bet you're little one does, too.
Its only natural for your dd to notice other women have breasts and that they also nurse their babies. Its part of exploring the world and how it works. Lots of love, mama, you're doing a great job!
Single mom by choice to Sophia, age 18, and Eleanor, age 12, and mother hen to too many nursing students to count!
Thankfully the mom was more embarrassed than angry. Her dd was hanging on tight to my shirt screaming and kicking. I think it took her a moment before she realized it was her mom trying to get her lol!
On another topic, when I was a baby and my mother HAD to work/leave, i had a wet nurse. I remembering nursing, and I remember my sister, so I had to have been at least 3 yrs old. I know I didn't love her the way I love my mom, and I don't remember bonding with her, just getting what I needed/wanted and that was about it. The only funny thing is that my mom didn't tell me that. I happened to bump into this woman when I was 18 yrs old and gave her a hug, and when I smelled her, I instantly had this memory of nursing on her. Of course i was too embarrassed to ask the lady, but when i asked my mother, she said yes, that was your wet nurse.
Both my dd's have nursed on my sisters, either by accident or when I wasn't there. My younger sister bf my baby when I had mastitus (sp?), I didn't know what was wrong with me and I was afraid of giving my little baby something, but it turned out to be mastitus and it's fine to bf. Still scary, though, and I am thankful to have a lactating sister to help me out. Not easy to bf when you're puking your insides out lol!
i have two boys: my oldest would go to anyone when he was small. he loved seeing new people and new places. he never cared one way or the other if i was in the room or not.
my second boy: never lets anyone but me or my husband hold him. he hates strangers and strange places. he even doesn't warm up to friends or family.
i raised them both the same.
we all have different needs when it comes to being outgoing or not.
i do understand what you mean though. but i think is mostly just personality
The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it. We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.
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