Sad little sleeper - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 04-23-2003, 05:59 PM - Thread Starter
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We tried a family bed in the begining but both my DD's rejected it, seeming much happier in their own bed. I always went to get the girls if they cried for more than a minute. Since the time both girls were in a big girl bed, they have been allowed to come into our bed anytime they want, or get up to see us after they have gone to bed, if they wanted. But they rarely ever did this.

DD age 6 has been getting out of bed alot within the past month to see us before we go to bed. This means that she hasn't been going to sleep until 10:00. We would let her sleep late in the morning, but she seems to wake up at the same time anyway (around 7:00). She started to have dark circles under her eyes and seemed very tired during the day.

I asked her why she was getting up and she said that she just missed me. I was always happy to see her, but began to get worried about her lack of sleep. I tried lying with her until she went to sleep, but she still stayed up with me there.

For the past 3 nights, I have asked her to stay in bed and not get out and have left her room. She has not cried about this but has told me that she is "a little sad." I told her its because she needed to try to sleep. She said she understood, but 'I'm still a little sad." These three night she has fallen asleep within about 15 minutes (at about 8:15)and looks and even admits she feels better.

I feel sort of bad about asking her to stay in her room, but don't want her getting sick.

Any thoughts or advice?
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#2 of 4 Old 04-24-2003, 01:03 AM
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My daughter will be 4 in May, and we had a family bed up until she was about 2, then hubby moved out and she and I slept together until last summer. She got her own bed, a double so I could lie with her if needed, and we put the baby monitor in her room and the receiver in ours so she could call to us at night if she needed to. I would nurse her to sleep and sometimes nurse her during the night, but she weaned completely in Feb. I still go in and lie with her every night at bedtime.

So my experience is different, but the problem I've had even when she was a baby and I was trying to put her to bed first was that it just seemed to take so long. Sometimes we go up to bed and it takes a very long time for her to fall asleep. She will get very animated and talk to me about things--I read her stories first, but then once the lights are out we talk about dreams and such. Sometimes I get up and tell her I'm going to put my pj's on or brush my teeth, but I will come back. Often when I come back she is asleep. A few times I've told her that I will stay for a set number of songs (she listens to a CD every night) and then will have to leave even if she isn't asleep. Then I tell her that if she puts her head down on the pillow to rest like she is going to sleep, she will be asleep before I leave. There have been a few times where I've left before she was asleep, and she seemed to be fine with it. Lately she's been going to bed at 10 or later, though, and I find this schedule harder.

Last night she wanted to turn her closet light on so she could "read" her book. I told her she could do that, but I was going to go back downstairs and she could call me when she was done. So she did, and I said I'd be right up. Well, I ended up lingering a bit shutting down my computer and all, and by the time I got up a few minutes later, she was sound asleep. I do think that when she has a little quiet time without me there, she goes to sleep faster.

Maybe you can tell her that you will lie with her for a little while before she goes to sleep, and then stay a set period of time. Or you can offer to come and check on her before you go to bed for the night. Or if she needs you to come to her, she can call out you. I can't really think of anything else.
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#3 of 4 Old 04-24-2003, 02:00 PM
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Maybe you can talk with her about why she is sad. Does she think you won't be there in the morning? Can she think of it as a present to wake up and come and hug and cuddle with you?

I understand her missing you, but maybe there is something beyond that to cause her sadness..
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#4 of 4 Old 04-24-2003, 06:25 PM - Thread Starter
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I'm not sure. Maybe its that she has gotten so independant in the rest of her life lately. She she has been deluged with requests for playdates lately. ( I am going to cut down on those so I can spend more time with her and see how it goes.
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