"I do it, I do it!" Help! - Mothering Forums

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Old 04-24-2003, 04:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My soon-to-be 2yo has been pushing her limits lately and I am really trying to do my best to help her out and be patient with this new stage. She must do absolutely everything herself, which i completely understand and comply with 96% of the time. But there are those times when we just need to be a little quicker, or when what she wants to do just isn't possible, like cutting the apple with a large kitchen knife or running outside in the freezing rain without any clothes on. and when I explain to her why she can't she just can't take it lately. She gets so upset, and so frustrated and I don't know what to do. I try to distract and avert her attention elsewhere or find something she CAN do etc etc. but I feel like I am running out of ideas, and my once very patient, very tolerant child is having a fit several times a day. Is it something else? Or is this what happens at this age? What else can I do to make her feel better about what is happening? She is sooooo happy and pleased when she does something herself, and sooooo frustrated when she can't. I know this is probably old hat to most, but I think I need some advice. Some support? Thank you!
~holly
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Old 04-24-2003, 11:23 AM
 
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Pat her back and tell her your sorry she is sad, mad, hurt, etc. BUT don't give in. You are doing the right thing mama!

I think the most common misconseption about AP parenting is that we give our kids their way in everything they do or want. Of course this isn't true. Just because we parent our children gentlly doesn't mean we are raising them to be selfish people who believe that their will is more important than all others. And of course this is a stage that both you and dd will learn somthing from. This will be followed by another stage, and another, and another....

Eden yikes.gif, working on a PhD in Education mama to Laurelleshamrocksmile.gif (16), Orijoy.gif (6), Yarrowfaint.gif (4) and Linusfly-by-nursing1.gif (1) partner to Brice. 
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Old 04-24-2003, 12:43 PM
 
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I find that around this age, distraction sometimes does more harm than good. I too would talk to my kids and say something like "Boy it makes you mad/sad that you can't go out without any clothes, huh!"

But I would not expect them to agree to this or anything. The important thing is for you to "feel" in your gut that there is nothing more that you can do for them. Let her have her tantrum, but be there to talk about it and hold her. If you feel that there is something more you must do that you are not, she will pick up on this and feel less secure.


I found that when kids 'get over" a tantrum without a distraction they than can use it to build (eventually, over MUCH time) a feeling that "Well, I've gotten over disapointment before, I can do it again."

And that this help build healthy coping mechanisms for the unavoidable disapointments that life throws at everyone.
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