Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: South Central, Texas
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I want to re-affrim how difficult having 2 children are, and how challenging a 2 year old is. It is a huge adjustment.
So, please, do not tell yourself you are horrible for reacting, because if you feel guilty, your resentment and anger will only grow.
You are so lucky that your head does think your reaction is over the top. You and your child are so lucky that you are seeking advice and trying to change. So many of us did not have parents who either thought they were doing anything wrong or did not want to change.
I also want you to try and find time as often as posible by yourself. It is so hard with 2, but so neccessary.
Also, trying to write daily can realy help. Keep a journal handy when the babe is asleep, and your son is occupied. Let yourself write down all your positive and Negative feelings. It would also be abeautiful thing to give your son when he is older. I really appreciated the talks I had with my mother about her efforts to change, and it made me accept and love her more for her struggle.
Also, I think it is so hard to be a mother right now. All the images are about happy, happy moms- but mothering is hard, and mothers get angry- but in our culture to be an anry mother somehow means you love your child less and almost that you are committing a crime. No, we are just human. Its all how you handle the anger that makes the biggest difference.
Good luck, and please keep us posted about how things change.