Today they watched her all day we left a whole package of diapers. When we picked her up she needed a change, had a bad rash, and the package of diapers was still full.
I don't get it! How can someone not change a diaper for several hours?!
When I tell people this they are sympathetic "Oh, you know men of that generation aren't comfortable with these things." That is until I tell then what FIL does for a living......
He is a doctor specializing in internal medicine. Do you know how much gross stuff he sees every day?
This guy just becomes another dumb DH around the house though!
My mother used to watch ds. (used to in the very past tense.)
I clearly remember her calling me one day to come out to her house. The reason? He had pooped a while ago and needed to be changed! I was like, um, it will be a minute before I get there... could you just...?
No, she couldn't! Gma's don't do diapers! :
This was on a day she picked him up to "give me a rest" since I was pregnant. Whatever.
I would talk to your ILs and see what they say. Maybe they just didn't think and would do well with a second chance. Or maybe they just aren't up to having dd without you.
Someone explain to me just how a competent adult of average intelligence can just decide they don't change diapers. I honestly don't get this That is such BS. Its a baby for goodness sake! They're helpless! How cruel to not meet the needs of a child when your perfectly able.
If it were me I'd play the guilt card and tell them I hope they don't mind being neglected in their old age if they ever need special care.
My grandparents were this way with my little sister.They were angry she was not a boy with red hair, and so they ignored her as best as they could..including allowing her to remain in her own dirty diapers for hours on end..until my Mom got off of work and came to pick her up and saw the rash and mess and etc.
Needless to say this happened about twice and then never again as my mother was not able to trust them.
To me this is really not a "oops, we forgot" type thing.It is VERY unpleasant to remain in your own mess for any length of time.How would they like if ti..say, ten years down the road they are in a home and using a diaper and unable to care for their own bodiliy functions? Would they want to wait for hours on end to have themselves cleaned up...or would they want to squish around in it for awhile?
Now I will go back and read the rest of what was said...but for my two cents....they do not get to watch the baby now. Too bad, so sad.
I bet if you just talk with them, making sure to bring up the rash, they will feel terrible. Of course, I do not know your inlaws, maybe this is indicative of a greater problem. But definitely bring it up before they watch her again.
Just ask your mom if there was a reaon she wasn't changing etc . . .she just might not relize that disposables need to be changed when they pee. I mean it isn't uncommon for some people to change a disposable only 3 or 4 times a day. She may just not get it. Ya know, if it aint bursting it ain't ready to change. She may even think she is doing you a favor by saving diapers. Be sure she knows you expect dd to be changed frequently because she is getting rashes and doesn't like to sit in her pee etc,. . . Hopefull that will be enough to fix the problem.
The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it. We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.
Lately I've noticed that when she poops, I can't smell it and she doesn't complain, so if I don't remember to check frequently I won't notice until it's leaking out her clothes. Once when I was watching someone's 2.5 yr old who was wearing underwear for the first time, I was asking if he had to use the bathroom and he kept saying no, and when his mom came and got him he had peed his pants, but I couldn't see because they were a dark color. But he also didn't complain or look uncomfortable. I think he just didn't want to use a strange bathroom.
I'm sure they're not being intentionally neglectful - maybe they really just don't notice anything or they figure if dd wanted to be changed she would complain. I was just surprised when I picked her up yesterday and then realized, they've been watching her since she was just weeks old and I don't remember them ever running out of the diapers I send along!
I don't think they neglect her in other ways - she gets plenty of food when she is there and they interact with her and she falls asleep on them and not in a room alone. Dh says he'll just remind them about the diapers.
I know the IL's have experience from long ago, but a) those were cloth diapers and b) I babysat a lot and changed a ton of diapers and was STILL worried, 10-15 years on.
So maybe a little tutorial would help.
My dad doesn't "do" poopy diapers. In fact, I don't think he does any diapers. Not when we were kids either. Too bad, because he would be a great babysitter otherwise.
FIL has baby sat for us, but he comes around near bedtime, then there are no diapers to change.
Thank goodness DS is no longer in diapers, but we've still not left him there longer than an hour or so.
My dad will change her in the family washroom at the mall! Cute!
When Dd was 10 days old my ILs came to visit. MIL INSISTED that a new mom needs to get out of the house. Impressionable new mom that I was, I actually agreed to let her take me to Wholefoods for an hour.
My heart was breaking as she tucked Dd into a little baby chair gift we'd been given, and FIL sat on the couch across from the chair. I explained to him how to use the cloth diapers, and he said, "Oh, I'll just let it wait until you get back."
I almost said, "that's it, I'm not going." Instead, I said, "When you're ancient and senile I'll change your diaper if we're alone and you need it, I expect you to treat my daughter with the same courtesy." He actually took a look at the diaper, figured out where the velco attached, so I felt like I could leave.
I used MIL's cell phone to call him when we got to the store, and he said that Dd had made a Huuuuuuge explosive poop - and that he had changed it.
Aside: I was so glad to get home that day, I NEVER let anyone talk me into leaving Dd "for my own good" ever again.
But what it comes down to is no diaper changes, no baby. If grandparents feel like they've changed enough diapers in their life, they can enjoy the baby while parents are around, but cannot babysit.
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