More than one gift from Santa????? - Mothering Forums
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Parenting > More than one gift from Santa?????
MamaSoleil's Avatar MamaSoleil 05:26 AM 12-16-2006
I am so so frustrated!!!! We moved to a new community, and apparently all the kids in dd's class, get two to three gifts from santa!!! What the *&*^%!
Can't we all agree to just one? I'm for the magic of Christmas, and have never gone over board, one gift from Santa, one gift to each child, and one family gift. That's it, done!!!! So now, dd is asking why do some kids get more from Santa? Are they better than her???? I think it's time to tell her the truth!!!!
Any insight???

Truly,

Mamasoleil

charmarty's Avatar charmarty 05:29 AM 12-16-2006


I am freaking seeing things right??? Is this THE mamasoleil???





OMG! !!!!!!!!!!!!!
MamaSoleil's Avatar MamaSoleil 05:33 AM 12-16-2006


Yeah, it's me Charmy, I'm back!!! Missed this community so much!!! I've been thru a LOT of CRAZINESS since I've been gone...but I'm back baby!!!
MamaSoleil's Avatar MamaSoleil 05:33 AM 12-16-2006
I also see my sig, it's so old, but still, so right, more than ever!!!
charmarty's Avatar charmarty 05:35 AM 12-16-2006
good to see ya back! Life does take it's turns but we usually ALWAYS end up right where we ought to be inspite the zigs and zags along the way
MamaSoleil's Avatar MamaSoleil 05:54 AM 12-16-2006
:bump
I really want to hear other people's thoughts on this!!!
MamaSoleil's Avatar MamaSoleil 05:55 AM 12-16-2006
:bump
MamaSoleil's Avatar MamaSoleil 05:55 AM 12-16-2006
I guess there's no bump smilie anymore?
rabrog's Avatar rabrog 05:59 AM 12-16-2006
Santa's sleigh isn't big enough for multiple gifts per kid! That's just nuts!

Jenn
FreeThinkinMama's Avatar FreeThinkinMama 06:07 AM 12-16-2006
We don't do santa(as in we don't plan on having her believe he's real) and growing up santa skipped my house(I was poor). I just assumed that people who did santa had all the gifts addressed to the kids from santa. In the cartoons and movies I always see santa coming down the chimney and leaving a lot of gifts or all of the gifts, not just one each. I'm biased but I would explain that santa isn't real and just a fun story.
MamaSoleil's Avatar MamaSoleil 06:24 AM 12-16-2006
I think she's onto the fact that santa doesn't really exist. Actually, I think she knows deep down, but she's not quite ready to let go of the fantasy. I will let her leave it when she's ready...
but, I won't buy into this new pressure!
zo's ma's Avatar zo's ma 06:53 AM 12-16-2006
If I could go back, knowing what I know now...we'd only do one "hand made" gift....like the elves would make, if there WERE elves

I don't think it's anything new, my parents did it.....most of the gifts are from Santa, we give them PJs on Christmas Eve and one gift in Christmas Day. We have really cut back in the last few years but it still seems like too much!
roxyrox's Avatar roxyrox 06:58 AM 12-16-2006
We don't do gifts from family members - all the gifts are from santa. My lo is only 2 so likes unwrapping things so I have got a load of little things!
nicole lisa's Avatar nicole lisa 10:10 AM 12-16-2006
We don't do Santa but growing up all the gifts were from santa so I guess it's not a completely new practice.
oyemicanto's Avatar oyemicanto 10:58 AM 12-16-2006
When I was growing up, we got many gifts from Santa, waiting for us under the tree. We do the same with our kids - it's not a major haul like you see on tv, but this year they are both getting a game, a couple of small toys, a few books, and a remote control car that DH bought them (I could have done without that one)

I think we all have very different traditions, depending on where we are from and how we grew up and how we interpret/change/keep those traditions for our own children.
tboroson's Avatar tboroson 11:24 AM 12-16-2006
I think it must be a cultural thing. Growing up, we got piles of gifts. I've seen photos of my Dad at Christmas when he was a kid, and he had several new gifts; and they were *very* poor. My Mom's old Christmas photos also show her with numerous gifts, though her family wasn't as poor.

I thought I was breaking with tradition by only providing a *few* gifts instead of a huge pile!

My parents and grandparents saved most of their toy buying for two occasions: Christmas and birthday. We didn't generally didn't get new toys year round. I think that might be a big cultural difference here. I'm a little different, spacing out new toys throughout the year a little more and buying things when I feel they're needed or appropriate (like if one of the kids takes a developmental leap, or if summer rolls around and one of them has outgrown her bicycle).

So, I take a middle ground on the Christmas and birthday toys issue: I buy/make one primary gift (i.e. a puppet theatre, a train table,) a couple of related smaller gifts (i.e. one or two new puppets, train pieces), one or two stocking stuffer gifts (something to fill the stocking other than candy, though I do give them a few pieces of chocolate); Then I give non-toy things: books, clothing, art supplies, sports equipment (dd1 is getting a new helmet for her bike because she outgrew hers.) That last category are all things that I would buy/make for the kids fairly indiscriminately through the year, so I don't feel bad filling up their pile with a few of them so they have lots of packages to open.
StephandOwen's Avatar StephandOwen 11:40 AM 12-16-2006
We've always done all the gifts are from Santa. Mom and dad are too poor to buy gifts for the kids Seriously, that's what I believed when I was younger. Now that I have my own ds, all gifts are still from Santa, but he doesn't quite get that concept yet so I don't know if I'll stick with it or not. For this year he doesn't give a darn.

Oh, and Santa also sneaks in on Christmas Eve while we're visiting family and leaves one gift on the bed (a pair of new pj's) then he comes back after kiddo is asleep to leave everything else
onlyzombiecat's Avatar onlyzombiecat 12:00 PM 12-16-2006
When I was growing up Santa left several gifts each at our house. My parents went overboard at Christmas. With dd, we only give her a few gifts anyway and Santa (or the Christmas Schnauzer) brings her one thing plus fills the stockings.

Maybe the real problem is kids these days being encouraged to count how many gifts they got and also getting bigger more expensive gifts.
LDSmomma6's Avatar LDSmomma6 12:00 PM 12-16-2006
MamaSoleil~

In my family, we do the small things from Santa. Santa brings new panties/underwear/boxers, new socks, Poke`mon cards, CD's, DVD's, little Hot Wheel cars, lip glosses, dolls, legos, nail polishes, toothbrushes, cool toothpastes, new CD ear buds, you know...the small things that they would need or want. Oh, and for older kids, deoderant, new shower supplies, stuff like that. But most of all, Santa brings candy, and it's not the cheap candy...it's the "NAME-BRAND" candy because that's the only time "he" knows that my kids never get a lot of candy.

And then for under the tree, it's the clothes, shoes, guitar (oldest DS asked for one), large-type toys, jewelry boxes, etc... But this year they are getting 2 things each under the tree...Oldest DS is getting 2 DVD's and the guitar. Next 3 are getting jeans/shirt and 1 toy item/or something they need, and 2 younger ones are just getting 2 small toy items each. That's it. That's all I can afford.

HTH...
JessicaS's Avatar JessicaS 12:09 PM 12-16-2006
MamaSoleil, it is so nice to see you!

Put a : at the end of that "bump" and you'll get the smilie.


We don't buy toys indiscrimantly just to make a big pile. We get one toy, and then an accessory to go with toys she has like a train or a wooden kitchen item and a book.

In stockings we have five kids to coordinate between my sisters and I, so that tends to get a little complicated.

From dh and I she gets 1 toy, clothes and a book.

But..we all stay at my mom's during Christmas so they all have a pile anyways. :

Anyone who goes *overboard* on their Santa stuff is warned severly, between three families of kids we are supposed to be consistant. Usually there is some sort of argument while the kids are asleep. *you have too much Santa stuff! Wrap some of that from you!*
Super Pickle's Avatar Super Pickle 12:30 PM 12-16-2006
Mamsoleil,
Just stick to what you've been doing all along.

One gift from Santa is plenty. Don't you think that too many gifts just overwhelms children anyway?


Some ideas:
- You could write a letter to your dd "from Santa" and put it with the gift, acknowledging the ways she's grown over the past year and the things she should be proud of. He can tell her why he picked out this special gift just for her. "Santa" wrote me a letter one year and it meant so much to me. It's the only thing he ever brought me that I actually remember. So what if other kids got 4 presents, your dd got a personalized letter! Santa really cares about her.

- If you're wondering what to do about her questioing Santa, you could tell or read her a story about St. Nicholas and how his spirit of generosity and love for children has carried on through all these years. Talk about how the spirit of St. Nick lives on differently in every country and every home. I think she can interpret it in her own way--still "believing" in a real person if she is still at that stage, or chosing to embrace a new understanding of Santa-still magical and wonderful but not make-believe. I've always phrased it this way, and read my kids the stories of St. Nicholas, and so far (6 and 3), they choose to believe in the make-believe way.
bobica's Avatar bobica 12:38 PM 12-16-2006
we do 1 gift from santa. my friends do all the gifts from santa.

oh, in our house, santa doesn't wrap the gifts!
A&A's Avatar A&A 12:41 PM 12-16-2006
I want most of the credit. So, Santa doesn't get much credit here (maybe one or two gifts).
bullfrog's Avatar bullfrog 12:48 PM 12-16-2006
My husband and I differ:

He wraps all the gifts from "Santa" (one or two per child) - and I'm from the school where you don't wrap gifts from Santa and they are displayed in a dramatic fashion in front of the tree decorated with bows on Christmas morning. (I really really really like the looks on their jaw dropped faces with the tree lights glowing on to them.)

And no, we have not reached a compromise, so, needless to say - I have occasionally over supplied my children at Christmas with toys. Because we do both -and there isn't any resentment - he thinks I'm silly and I think he's silly and who cares? However - there have been a couple of years where I totally over do it and it sometimes leaves me feeling a little empty inside. So - don't do it if you think you shouldn't.

DD's BFF wakes up to many wrapped gifts under the tree and she and her brother can only open 1 of them on Christmas morning, one the next day and so on - sometimes she's opening gifts until early Feb. I personally couldn't stand the delayed gratification. But she's a perfectly happy well adjusted child so : .

ETA: I realized long ago that DD wouldn't always get everything that the other kids got from Santa. She asked for a pony one year and said "Well Santa brought one to Channing - so it's not too expensive for Santa." I came up with the idea of telling her that whatever Santa brought her we would have to pay Santa back for it. That way he can continue to bring toys to kids whose parents didn't have any money at all - since we were able to pay we would. And of course there are some parents who could afford a pony - and those parents definately have to pay Santa back.
apmom's Avatar apmom 02:05 PM 12-16-2006
My children are allowed to pick 3 things for Santa. I have 3 kids and that makes 9 gifts! I grew up with my grandparents and they didn't have a lot of money but, every year, I got everything that I asked for. They didn't do gifts for birthdays or anything and I didn't get much through the year. That's exactly what I do w/ my kids. For b-days we go out to dinner. That's it. But I tend to go all out on Christmas because I don't buy for anything else(and the extra things are arts and crafts that I want them to have). It all depends on you and what you want. My kids know that Santa brings different numbers of gifts but, don't care because they know they are lucky to get 3.
JamesMama's Avatar JamesMama 02:36 PM 12-16-2006
We do one Santa gift, plus cheap, small stocking stuffers (this year I got 4 or 5 toys out of the $1 bin at Target, they had really cute wooden cars and stuff!). But Mama and Daddy do maybe one or two toys and clothes (I tend to go a bit overboard on Christmas) and Santa brings the HUGE longed for toy so he's the Hero. *shrug*
HollyBearsMom's Avatar HollyBearsMom 02:49 PM 12-16-2006
MamaSoleil- so good to 'hear' your voice!! I miss so many people I used to 'see' so much of around here.

Santa only bring 2-3 gifts in our house and he has other rules too like no live animals, or toys that mom doesn't approve of. However last years a kid in his school got a puppy. So I told him that his mom must have said it was Ok. However that doesn't help w/ the number of gifts does it?

Are kids just more savvy today? We didnt have a lot money growing up so while there was a lot under the tree it was mostly things we needed like a winter coat, mittens, hats, undies and then just a few small gifts and everything was from Santa. My cousins were loaded and they got tons of stuff like bikes, all the "hot" gifts and really big toys but it never registered that Santa might like them better. Except for my trauma of not getting the dancing ballerina of which I have never fully recovered from

I think if a family has wonderful traditions and you make the day special that's ultimately what the kids remember.
joensally's Avatar joensally 03:01 PM 12-16-2006
That's a tough one!

We also only do one gift from Santa - after all, his sleigh is only so big and there are all those children around the world Santa has to deliver to (consider the reduced fuel economy too large a toy sack would create! ).

YK, for us Santa's a great model of equality (theoretically, all kids get toys/gifts - theoretically) and generosity (what a great guy/group to devote their lives to the bringing of joy [albeit material] to children everywhere). I can see where some kids can receive a huge bounty of santa gifts and not have it be negative, but I think for others it's just feeding into commercialism and materialism.

To the specifics of your situation, I don't know what to say. That's really tough. I suppose you could "flex" your tradition and pony up a couple of extra santa gifts if you really want to maintain her belief. Or you could tell her the truth. Or you could tell her that parents have a say in what Santa brings and that all families are different and the values of your family include asking for one gift.

My mom took me to santa at the mall when I was a kid to have a photo taken. I love these momentos, so have maintained the tradition. The kids are allowed to ask for ONE thing, that's it. And we discuss it in advance, to avoid the ponies etc! This year DD wants a sewing machine (the kids' Singer) and he wants a guitar (he'll get a ukelele). These will be their big gifts.
oceanbaby's Avatar oceanbaby 03:49 PM 12-16-2006
When I was a kid all the presents were from Santa.

We've never specified around here. I just label who it is for, not who it is from. Ds has never asked.
annekevdbroek's Avatar annekevdbroek 04:32 PM 12-16-2006
Santa brings 3 presents to DS - small, medium, and large (whatever is the biggest/best we have for the year). We give DS another 3 gifts or so (small, med, largish), plus Santa does the stocking.

Growing up we had most of our gifts from Santa, as did most of my friends. Last year was actually the first time I ever heard of Santa only bringing one present! Our neighbors do this.... So, no, not everyone only does one present from Santa and some of us are shockingly ignorant of that practice! Santa wraps the presents here, but apparently there are also many homes where the gifts aren't wrapped (this was also news to me last year.)

Regardless of the number of gifts Santa brings - I think the point of not going "over board" isn't too be lost. I feel very sad when I hear about debit and stress associated with holiday spending and "having" to buy gifts.
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