I haven't even had my baby yet and it is already starting to affect friendships. Dh and I had very particular parenting philosophies before we conceived, and at the time I didn't realize they were "AP" but just figured they made the best sense. Anyway, now that I've found all of this support out there I am even more certain about what I will do and have the stats to back my intuition up. . .
. . . anyway, I get a lot of
: when someone ASKS me what I plan to do and I tell them. My older sister in particular who just lost custody of her children!!!!!!!!!!!! (I'm not even going to go there). They all give me the
: "that's what you think now but when you become a parent things will change." Yes, I am aware that all of my ideals will not become reality, but I'm not pressing my belief on them just answering their question. I don't disrespect the fact that they decided to parent differently and neither should they, and I don't feel like I deserve to be discredited for having opinions solely bc I haven't given birth. I practically raised my younger sis & bro so it's not like I'm in la la land and don't know how kids "are."
The biggest thing has been my childhood best friend, who is childless, and DISHES out advice like a pro. She took a semester of childcare classes back in high school and thinks that this qualifies her, and on top of that she started working for a nanny service 2 months ago and has since become an expert. For example she takes care of a 3 month old that was premie and still hooked to machines, and a 2 year old. Constantly complaining that the 3mo is "spoiled" bc the parents hold it all the time, so it expects the same when she's there. Doesn't consider that maybe it needs a little tlc especially since it's premie . . . Back on topic, I'm amused that she argues every single thing I plan to do, regardless of what I say, bc she heard all her life that it was wrong (the traditional arguments). I guess I'm especially perterbed bc she is so open minded about so many things, but so preachy about things she knows NOTHING about. I know the tension between all these people won't die out when baby is born and I start practicing what I preach. They'll be sure to think I'm screwing this kid for life while they don't see anything wrong with cussing and screaming at their kids and hitting them.