Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Western Massachusetts
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So, I just had to vent about this to people who would understand...
I'm a single mother to 4 foster/adopt children, ages 5, 2, 1 and 7 months. I set up with my sister (childless) to make a brunch for my mother at my sister's house. My mother's youngest child (my sister) is 33. As everyone involved in the family acknowledges, my mother was a pretty rotten mother, screaming, hitting, demeaning, hurtful and blaming us for her behavior by saying we were "bad" kids. It's been many, many years. My mother and I didn't even talk for 10 years. We get along fine now. She's apologized so I am willing to connect with her again.
Anyway, I take my 4 kids to my sister's house which is white and set up with lots of delicate knick knacks and such. I spend the day running after my kids trying to get them to not hurt anythign or get anything dirty or whatever. We eat all my mother's favorite foods. Then my mother opens her presents. I have to say, that I thought that they would have at least gotten me a card. Last year they got me a 50 cent little thing from a street vendor I think. They got me nothing and hardly acknowledged that I'm even a mother. Luckily I brought the gifts that my 5 year old, 2 year old and 1 year olds made me at daycare and school. I had them to open and they were wonderful. Cute little ladybugs that they made themselves.
Oh, and then I got out to my car to start loading it up to leave and a neighborhood boy (it's a very shi shi neighborhood, my parents and sister are very well off) asks me if I'm going to the park. I said I don't know any park. He shows me that there's this beautiful playground with benches and a picnic table not 200 feet from my sister's condo. I said why didn't we go there? The kids would have been busy, happy and not capable of breaking anything and we could have sit out in the sun. My sister just shrugged her shoulders.
I do realize that my own children should be doing mother's day for me, but it's clear that they're too young. I worked way, way more than usual to make a nice mother's day for someone who isn't even mothering right now and did a lousy job when she did.
I just feel cranky and sad about it. I hope next year I remember to send a card and say that I'm doign a mother's day for me!