I have developed something of a relationship with my school nurse, because I use a room in her clinic to pump every day; her first granddaughter was born about six weeks after my ds, and she lives two houses away from me.
She and I have been going around and around as she asks me questions about my nursing relationship with Nate. It sounds to me like she is doing her very best to sabotage her daughter's attempt to nurse: "She isn't making enough milk; the baby wants to eat every two hours." "She'll take a bottle of formula right after she nurses; obviously she isn't getting enough." "Her milk is too thin; it can't be enough." "That baby is four months old, she REALLY needs some real food; they can't last that long on just bm/formula (the babe has been supplemented with formula since day one)." I have over and over again tried to set her straight, and I have Nate as living, breathing proof that bm can grow a baby just fine, but she refuses to listen. I even gave her my phone # and told her to have her daughter call me. No dice.
So mom's nursing less and less and having more and more problems (big surprise!) and grandma's newest kick is that she's pissed off that mom won't let her keep the babe for a weekend. Yes, take her away from her mom, in the midst of bfing struggles, for an entire weekend. Luckily, mom has the sense to say "No way" so I get an earful everyday about how pissed grandma is. I told grandma "If my mom thought she was taking my baby away overnight, I'd tell her she was stupid crazy." Grandma thinks that's insane. "That would likely ruin her chances of bfing all together," I say. G-ma says "She doesn't need to be doing that anymore anyway."
Today took the cake though. G-ma was complaining and bitching at mom about "spoiling" the baby -- "You're suffocating her! Give her a little room to breathe! Let her fuss a little!" So she tells me that mom decided she'd finally listen to g-ma. She put the baby in a swing and went into the back room to "get some work done." They baby fussed a while, then cried a while, then fussed a while, then cried awhile, and mom just let her fuss/cry while she finished her work. When she finally came back in the room (I don't know how long she was gone) the baby had somehow slipped in the swing and was being held in by just the strap across her legs, completely doubled over, with her head hanging so it almost touched the ground. I don't know what kind of swing she has, and I'm having trouble picturing it, but g-ma said the baby's head was brushing the floor each time the swing went back and forth. So of COURSE the baby was crying!
And the whole time g-ma was telling me this story she was cracking up laughing. She says "Mom felt bad, but I told her not to worry about it, it won't be the last time!" I'm ready to cry, thinking poor, poor baby, and she's LAUGHING! What the hell is wrong with this woman? What's wrong with her daughter that she listens to this woman?
And two sentences later she says "Any time you need to run out for something, give me a call, and I'll keep your baby for a little while." THE HELL YOU WILL! I nearly laughed in her face, then I went back to my room and cried for that little baby. It's so sad.
What the hell makes people think treating a baby this way is OK? Or even good?
Mama to Nate (11/02) and due 4/12/11