Would you ever consider being a surrogate? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 178 Old 01-20-2007, 09:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I followed the advertised link at the bottom of the screen to a site for surrogates and it kind of peaked my interest. I know that I would definitely be a surrogate for my sister if she ever needed me to be, but so far that is not an issue. I had such a beautiful pregnancy and delivery with Ethan that I would consider doing it for a couple who wanted a baby, but I think only if I knew them.
Anyway, I just thought that I would bring it up. I am interested to hear how you all feel about it. And I would love to hear from those of you who have done it.

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#2 of 178 Old 01-20-2007, 09:28 PM
 
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If they needed to use my eggs, then for my sister only, using someone elses eggs, then also for friends. Not for a stranger.
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#3 of 178 Old 01-20-2007, 09:29 PM
 
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No way. Pretty much the only thing that keeps me going through pregnancy is the fact that I get my very own baby at the end.

Even if somebody extremely close to me wanted a baby, I am quite sure that I wouldn't do it.

That's just me, though -- I admire women who do it. I'm jealous, too -- they must enjoy pregnancy a LOT more than I do.
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#4 of 178 Old 01-20-2007, 09:43 PM
 
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I liked being pregnant each time but in no way do I want to be the mother of a newborn baby again so I could do it.

I could only do it if the man's sperm and her eggs are put together inside me. I wouldn't want to carry my own child and then give it up in the end, no way. I'd have no problem carrying someone else's child for them. In fact I'd be honored to help in that way.

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#5 of 178 Old 01-20-2007, 09:46 PM
 
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I could never do it. I could never give away a child that came out of my body no matter whose eggs and sperm it was. That said, I think it's a wonderful, selfless, giving thing to do for those who can.
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#6 of 178 Old 01-20-2007, 10:44 PM
 
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I have, and would happily do it using the intended parents' eggs and sperm. If I hadn't had two c-sections, I would probably be a terrific candidate for surrogacy.

Proud Anti-Adoption, Atheist, Reproductive-Freedom Fighter Mama
Rylie is 7, Ronin is 3.5
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#7 of 178 Old 01-20-2007, 10:46 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PGNPORTLAND View Post
I could never do it. I could never give away a child that came out of my body no matter whose eggs and sperm it was. That said, I think it's a wonderful, selfless, giving thing to do for those who can.

Well put, my feelings exactly.
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#8 of 178 Old 01-20-2007, 11:21 PM
 
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i could do it in a heart beat knowing how my aunt and uncle tried to have a baby and ended up going on a waiting list to adopt and waited 13 years to get a baby so i really feel the pain they went threw but i couldnt do it because i have struggled to have the 2 i have and i want more
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#9 of 178 Old 01-20-2007, 11:44 PM
 
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I would do it with other eggs than my own, for friends. I don't think I could contract out with someone I never met before that!

Kash, homeschooling mommy to Gillian (8/5/00) and Jacob (3/23/05)
and Brigid Eleanor (11/20/08)
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#10 of 178 Old 01-20-2007, 11:48 PM
 
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no. it kinda squicks me out, couldnt do it.

nak
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#11 of 178 Old 01-21-2007, 12:03 AM
 
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Nope. What gets me through all the yuck involved in pregnancy and birth is the idea of having another kid in the house. I wouldn't be able to go through pregnancy and give the baby to someone to raise. I considered it in the past (egg donation too) and realized it's not something I'm willing to do.

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#12 of 178 Old 01-21-2007, 12:11 AM
 
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I would love to. Unfortunatly it is illegal in my state.

Dawn, mama to D (3.06) & N (9.07) C (11.09) & Still-in-shock surprise due in Aug!
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#13 of 178 Old 01-21-2007, 12:40 AM
 
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No and I have serious qualms as to whether it should even be an option.
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#14 of 178 Old 01-21-2007, 01:03 AM
 
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No way. I couldn't do it whether it was my egg or someone elses. I couldn't do it for a relative, friend, or stranger. I LOVED being pregnant and feeling so connected to that growing little life inside me. I just could not imagine going through a pregnancy and then giving the baby to someone else. I briefly toyed with the idea of egg donation when I was seriously broke in college, but quickly realized there was no way I could do it.

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#15 of 178 Old 01-21-2007, 01:20 AM
 
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I know that I couldn't do it. That said, I have a lot of respect for the women who do and I agree that it is a wonderful and selfless thing to do for another.

"There is no belief, however foolish, that will not gather its faithful adherents who will defend it to the death." -Isaac Asimov read.gif

 
 
 
 

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#16 of 178 Old 01-21-2007, 01:32 AM
 
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my 2 cents is that i want to be a surro...not sure when or for whom or what or anything but i was always interested since i knew about THE DEED and such. not sure whether i could do it with my own egg but i also don't want all the hormones of GS or the mutliple pg thing.
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#17 of 178 Old 01-21-2007, 01:38 AM
 
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No. I have too many emotional reasons, had a pregnancy which includes morning sickness, bedrest, and more bedrest. Then a life threatening delivery And a long recovery from that.

I would donate extra eggs and or embroy's though.

Mama to two beautiful children. 

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#18 of 178 Old 01-21-2007, 01:38 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chinaKat View Post
No way. Pretty much the only thing that keeps me going through pregnancy is the fact that I get my very own baby at the end.

Even if somebody extremely close to me wanted a baby, I am quite sure that I wouldn't do it.

That's just me, though -- I admire women who do it. I'm jealous, too -- they must enjoy pregnancy a LOT more than I do.
Oh great. CK already typed up my post so I don't have to. Thanks, CK!
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#19 of 178 Old 01-21-2007, 05:21 AM
 
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Yes I would if it was for like my best friend or a sister. I had the worst morning sickness in the world by for my friend to have the joy I do with dd id do it in a heart beat. I perfer being done having my own kids but thats a techniqality.
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#20 of 178 Old 01-21-2007, 06:13 AM
 
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Yes, but only for my sister and her husband. Call me selfish, but if I am going to carry the baby, I want to be involved in its life which I know I would be if it was my biological neice/nephew.
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#21 of 178 Old 01-21-2007, 06:30 AM
 
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I would happily grow a baby for my "respected" family or friends with their eggs and sperm. I could never do it using my own eggs or for a stranger.

Tina ~ SAHcarrot.gif- head Mama to - 

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#22 of 178 Old 01-21-2007, 06:48 AM
 
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I might, but never with my own egg, and the parents would have to be hardcore AP.
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#23 of 178 Old 01-21-2007, 09:23 AM
 
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I would do it for my sister but not for anyone else.

Kathy-Mom to Blake & Mikaela
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#24 of 178 Old 01-21-2007, 01:05 PM
 
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1)...It was their egg and sperm...I couldn't give my own baby away.

2)They were good people.

3)They wouldn't mind me being a family friend after the birth.
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#25 of 178 Old 01-21-2007, 01:14 PM
 
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i could never do it. my pregnancies aren't horrible, but they aren't blissful either. mostly though, i just know that i would never be okay with not parenting a baby after carrying it for nine months (no matter whose eggs and sperm it was).

also, i don't think surrogacy should be banned, but i do have some personal, ethical concerns with it.

i would donate my eggs to my sister or a close friend, if i felt sure that the baby would be raised with in a loving home (my definition, of course).

Chrissy, lucky mama to Noah (9), Lilah (6), Rowan (3) and Laney (1).
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#26 of 178 Old 01-21-2007, 01:14 PM
 
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I'd love to be able to say yes, but no i don't think i could , if my sister couldn't have babies of her own then i would think about doing it for her but thats it no one else, i was wanting to do it for friends of my dad who are haveing trouble concvieving but when i really thought about it deep down i knew i just couldn't, as soon as i see those little lines i'm thinking about my baby and how i can't wait to see him/her, the bond is there long before birth, so theres no way i could just hand over the baby after birth

Becky, sahm to angel.gif25/04/2000 Chloe 12/04/2002 Cameron 19/02/2004 Caitlin 28/06/2005 angel.gif24/07/2006 and Caden 14/03/2008

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#27 of 178 Old 01-22-2007, 12:23 PM
 
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No, I would not.
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#28 of 178 Old 01-22-2007, 12:28 PM
 
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I could be a gestational surrogate for a close friend or family member. I could never give away my eggs.

I would talk extensively with them about their parenting views before agreeing to it. For example, I would never carry a child if I knew he would be circumcized.
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#29 of 178 Old 01-22-2007, 12:35 PM
 
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Just something to think about but I have twin sisters. One has children and the other like myself has fertility issues. My sister told her that if she ever wanted her to she would be a surrogate for her, this was like 10 years ago. Since then I also have been unable to get pregnant. Right now my sister is due in April with my other sisters baby, more like an open adoption. But I still feel like the sister being a surrogate feels bad that she is carrying a child for my sister and not one for me. At the time they made the deal I was still quite young and never really thought that far in advance. After this pregnancy my sister is getting her tubes tied.

That said if it were someone elses eggs and sperm I could do it. I would htink of myself more like the incubator. If it were my eggs I would consider it to be more like an open adoption.
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#30 of 178 Old 01-22-2007, 01:17 PM
 
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Yep - We tried to harvest my eggs for my sister, but it didn't work. She ended up getting pregnant naturally a few years later.

And I just recently offered the idea of talking about my carrying a baby for a friend of mine. I don't know if we'd do it, but I said it was something we could talk about if that turned out to be the problem. They really want a baby and I really want them to have one.

Third generation WOHM. I work by choice.
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