o mammas thanks so much for your support.
i am a little fuzzy headed these days so let me clear some things up.
i am not with him, o and we were never married. we were together for 8 years though. since i was 18.
i have not been romantically involved with him since he hit me two years ago. and i have no intention of ever being so again.
he does admit it was and is wrong but he still has a long way to go.
he just started a new job 3 weeks ago and IF he keeps it then he'll get benifits in a little over two months from now and he has agreed to get counseling. we'll see if he acually does. this weekend he is going to the library and is going to look up some books on this sort of thing. self help type stuff you know?
i wish i could recommend some stuff for him.
i have the domestic violence number stuck to my phone
so the thing thats going on now, this violence started up about 2 months ago again breifly.
now it seems calm agian, but we have managed to have some conversations about it. some of them over the phone since that was the only way i felt safe.
not working (him) is a trigger for his violence, since he feels like a failer when he is not providing. so as long as he is working there is at least some sanity for him. and it also helps build his self esteem. which as all of us know about people who dominate other people do it mainly because they feel low themselves.
so the better he feels about himself, the less likely hell feel like he needs to defend himself.
right now its very important to me that we get along. i dont want to end up being enimies with him when we'll have a child to raise for the rest of our lives and i could do wihtout the drama of fighting over the child.
so far hes never done a thing to Fionn, but hes still young and hopefull I or he will never have to cross that bridge.
wow that was alot, but i guess i need to talk alot about it.
i have to go now, ill post more later.