not much money but LOTS of love - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 05-12-2003, 10:51 PM - Thread Starter
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I need so advice...My hubbie and I are talking about having our second babe our DD is 18 months and I am in school and my hubbie works he makes about 12,000 a year we are pretty poor but we are happy loving parents and we live in a beautiful duplex and have so much love to give...we are getting a lot of guff when we talk about baby#2...I am a stay at home mom and while I am in school part time I get to be home with the kids in the day time and ALL summer so I still feel it is a good time to have another...can you give us advice and help with the negatives from our families..any of you been there before???HELP
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#2 of 9 Old 05-12-2003, 11:18 PM
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Wow, your story could be ours!!!!

We have raised four children on a salary that has ranged from 18,000.00 to our present.......

We have always lived on one salary and have heard the "guff" many times before, " Not another baby, you can't afford the ones you have''

I know in m y heart that what children need to grow into loving, peacefull adults is loving, peaceful parents..... Not the newest toys, designer clothes, private preschools........ Just a parent or parents who love, respect and know the value of the gift they hold in their arms...

If you both feel in your heart it is time for baby #2 to enter this world, then it is time..... You already have everything a child needs, happy loving parents!!!

Peace and Love,

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#3 of 9 Old 05-13-2003, 03:15 AM
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As long as you have the money to provide the basics, ie. Food, Shelter, Clothing. I say go for it
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#4 of 9 Old 05-13-2003, 10:59 AM
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Here is my take on it: as long as you are not asking anyone for financial help, you do not have to listen to anyone's opinion of when you should or should not have children. If you are getting financial assistance, then the person who is providing is to you does have the right to stick their nose in.

Not to get too "armchair psychologist-ish" on you, but there is something that I don't understand: Why are you even discussing this topic with anyone? And why do you care what other members of your family say? This is a decision that only a husband and wife can make, everyone else's opinion is completely irrelevant.

Similarly, I don't think any of us here could tell you what to do either. But you weren't asking "should we have more" you were asking for how to deal with your extended family's negativity. To me it's simple: don't talk about it.

Good luck! Love is the most important thing!
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#5 of 9 Old 05-14-2003, 10:54 PM
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i am happy to give you my opinion to help you reconfirm your decision because that is what this board is about in my opinion.

i have seen these parents in action, as they are friends of ours and they are excellent parents with a sweet little girl. i think if you guys are ready to get possibly less (LOL), then i've got a sling you could borrow. you have got most of the stuff already, plus if dd is still in diapers and that cost is an issue, we have cloth you could borrow (assuming we won't be needing them... we are definately PLANNING on waiting). you are great parents and i say having more thatn one should not be reserved for the rich.
big love to you, nikki
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#6 of 9 Old 05-15-2003, 01:31 AM
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I am sorry for addressing the other poster in a negative light!

IMO I Think if you can afford to have another child and feel the time is ready than go for it mama, if money is too tight you can always work part time and alternate child care with your husband and his schedule. Goodluck =)

"If you truly love nature, you will find beauty everywhere." -Vincent Van Gogh
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#7 of 9 Old 05-15-2003, 02:18 AM
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I would like to remind everyone that directly addressing a member in a negative way is not permitted on these boards. If you have a problem with a post, or feel it needs to be edited, please bring it to my attention rather than posting to the thread.


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#8 of 9 Old 05-15-2003, 02:44 AM - Thread Starter
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Thank you for your support Olismom I luv ya..I just wanted to say thank you to those who posted support That is why I love this forum.....Peace and Love...
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#9 of 9 Old 05-15-2003, 11:52 AM
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peaceful mom,

I think the issue is not the amount of money you have... some people can comfortably manage their budget with two kids on 10,000 a yr, while others because of the lifestyle and spending habits they have or had in the past could not "afford" two kids on 100,000 yr. If you are able to pay your bills and you think you are ready and can handle it then it shouldn't matter what you make.
If you think it would make think so tight that you will spend your days and nights worrying about how you are going to pay the rent though, you might consider waiting a little longer.
And as far as your negative friends and family go - I say, if you don't borrow money from them to make ends meet - what business is it of theirs.
Before I had my ds I made really good money and I got used to spending all of it. When my dh and I got pregnant I thought we had to have a big house in a particular neighbourhood and nice cars and the best baby furniture and all these toys and clothes from the gap. This was fine while we had a double income. Once we had ds I realized that I could not stand to be apart from him and had no desire to go back to work. But at that point I had already substantially increased the amount of cash flow we needed to have every month to pay our bills. So now we live very tightly and every month it is quite a stretch to pay the bills but I wouldn't trade being with him for anything in the world. NOw we are really wanting another baby and there is no way we could do it without me going back to work. So we have decided to wait.
ANyway my point in all of this is if you live simply then you can provide the truly important things that your baby needs and as you mentioned you have a lot of love to give which is the most important thing. I think any baby in te world would choose a loving mothers arms to all of the expensive baby gadgets and gear in the world!
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