Is it so cute when jr. yells at or spanks his baby? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 05-14-2003, 09:44 AM - Thread Starter
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Do parents who have consciously decided to spank, point out faults, only want positive emotions, ect. think it is sweet and cute when there toddlers and children copy thier parenting on younger children or dolls?

I think it is very cute when my 2 year old wants to sling his baby or when he is crying he is stuck in his carseat and my three year old says "You're supposed to be stuck, it keeps you safe."

I do make mistakes and yell or ignore what they are trying to tell me because I am just focused on getting the groceries back in the car and home not wondering why they are upset. But often even if I hear my 3 year old acting out one of my less then perfect parenting moments with his toys, one of the other toys acts out a better way to help the hurt one. So I don't feel like this is bad either, I think it is a useful way for him to help himself when I have not been able to.

But I couldn't imagine seeing my 2 year old spank his baby or my 3 year old telling his brother just to stop crying and get over it as cute or sweet. Do parents that believe that this is the way you guide or train your children like to see their actions copied?
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#2 of 6 Old 05-14-2003, 10:03 AM
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Hmmm... good question. I know it always made me sad as a child to see a friend spanking his or her dolls, but I am not sure how the parents looked at it. Maybe it was normal to them. Hopefully, though, it made them wake up and look at why the children were acting like this.

Evergreen- Loving my girls Dylan dust.gifage8, Ava energy.gifage 4 and baby Georgia baby.gif (6/3/11).

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#3 of 6 Old 05-14-2003, 12:38 PM
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I wouldn't think it's cute at all. It would be sad. The only spankings that go on in here are all in playing, yeah I know that sounds weird, but the kids like the rough it's a pat.

I had a little boy nursing his elmo when his sister was born, his sister nursed her baby from her belly button when her baby sister was born. THAT is cute. I hear them counting sometimes, I know that they have learned my way of dealing with temper, that is better than hitting. Every now and then the youngest tries to raise her eyebrow when she is displeased, that is cute.

We do hear them say, "well get over it" to their it is a phrase we use, one that is used when the "it's not fair" whining starts. We explain why things are happening as they are, and that life isn't always fair, when they are grown ups they won't always get what they want, there are laws and rules to abide by. And if there is more whining about it, "we're sorry you feel upset by this, but you will get over it." LOL.. ds went with my parents and brothers to Disneyland, when he was 4. He wanted a treat of some kind. He was told no. He whined, and his nana told him that he couldn't have one as they were eating soon. He thought about it, shrugged his shoulders and told her, "Nana, I'll get over it." the whining stopped, they went for supper, and since he was such a big boy about it, they went back after to get him a treat, where his 6 yo cousin had thrown such a tantrum about it, he had to be brought to the hotel. It's worked well for us. The kids know that while their feelings maybe hurt(not ignored though), they can't always get their way, and know that the feeling won't hurt for long.

I know I'm not a perfect parent, and lose my temper at times. But when I do, the kids here me counting loudly, 1....2.....3..... they know i better not get to 10, or we'll have some repercussions for their behavior. It works for me. dh just needs to look at them and raise an eyebrow, how'd he get it so easy??

I don't like violent behavior. I watch the neighbor girl, she is 5, and she is always hitting my girls. I get so frustrated. This is when I take a stand. I stand over her, making her look up, and I tell her ina strong firm voice, that I don't like her behavior and it is not allowed in my house. the other neighbor girl, my kids can't go in her house as she gets violent. Those kids are left unsupervised so much. She has pinned my then 3yo down and slapped her in the face. She is 6. They can play here, or outside where I can see them. i have taken her aside and told her that I don't want her hitting my kids, ever, or she will have to deal with me. this is a girl who shoved a child on roller blades down stairs(he shouldn't have been up the stairs), i gave her the what for I wasn't as soft spoken as maybe I should have been, but she is old enough to know better. i've not had a problem since. I don't tolerate behavior like that. She is lucky that the other child didn't get a broken arm or concussion. Where do the kids learn these behaviors?

My son lost his temper and resorted to physical aggression, once and only once, his birthday party for that weekend was cancelled as a result of his behavior. Thank goodness no one was hurt. I know they see it in their friends, but we don't treat them like that here, dh doesn't raise a hand to me, never has, nor do I to him. We don't manhandle our kids, the handling done in this house is playing, hugging and loving.

Wow, pregnant ramblings! I'm off for a before I write a novel.
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#4 of 6 Old 05-14-2003, 07:29 PM
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When my son was a young toddler (and I was less informed), I had the mindset that I would hit him rather than have him get hurt (how absurd it sounds to even write that). So the first time he reached up to grab something hot on the stove, I took his hand and slapped it and said No, Hot. He cried, but got over it quick and thought I had handled it. A little later that evening, he was re-enacting it, slapping his own hand and saying "hot, hot." My heart just about broke and I promised right then to never hit him again. I don't think I will ever forget it.
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#5 of 6 Old 05-14-2003, 09:02 PM
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I can't imagine parents who spank thinking, "Oh, how cute," when they see their child spanking his or her dolls. I'm sure it makes them feel terrible. And the reason I'm sure of that is that I do not believe for ONE SECOND that any parent who spanks, even the ones who will defend it until they are blue in the face, actually FEELS GOOD about spanking. I do not believe that they spank their child for whatever infraction and finish with a clear conscience and a feeling that they have just done something good for their child. Which, by the way, is EXACTLY what I feel whenever I discipline my dd with love and patience.
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#6 of 6 Old 05-14-2003, 09:41 PM
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