"Leashes" for children. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 89 Old 01-31-2007, 05:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I know this has probably been hashed and re-hashed a zillion times around here, but I'm not having much luck searching, so I'm starting another thread on the subject of leashes/harnesses for children.

What do you all think of them? Do you use them? When? If not, why? Where?

I really don't like them. I always said I would never use one. I don't know why, but I always got a weird vibe when I thought about putting a leash on my child. BUT, she started walking today, and is already trying RUN from me (as she laughs and giggles). Quite honestly, I'm scared.

I don't worry about her. I really don't want to restrain her or hold her back in anyway. But I worry about OTHER people (like the pervs and pedophiles who wait for children to get separated from their parents).

I understand the "stay on them like glue" and "watch them like a hawk" theories, but things can happen in the blink of an eye, especially in this day and age. : And we live in a busy area, too.

So.. what does everyone do? How do you feel about them? How do you avoid them?

Frankenstein never scared me. Marsupials do. Because they're FAST.
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#2 of 89 Old 01-31-2007, 05:56 PM
 
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Yep, this one has been thoroughly hashed. Party on...

--I wore my kids front or back then used a bike trailer or ski pulk or just walked really slowly and held their hands.

Oh and the best thing I've ever found is to travel in packs; ie. go out w/all your Mom friends and their kids.
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#3 of 89 Old 01-31-2007, 06:05 PM
 
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I own two harnesses for dd ...she is very spirted and telling her do not run into the street means run into the street. I like to put her harness on and hold her hand.
http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html...sin=B000EBITU8
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#4 of 89 Old 01-31-2007, 06:08 PM
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Originally Posted by BusyMommy View Post
Yep, this one has been thoroughly hashed. Party on...

--I wore my kids front or back then used a bike trailer or ski pulk or just walked really slowly and held their hands.

Oh and the best thing I've ever found is to travel in packs; ie. go out w/all your Mom friends and their kids.
so true !!


as for the leashes bit... im kinda both ways on it, but i lean more torward the no part cause well i know that htey can hurt.
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#5 of 89 Old 01-31-2007, 06:09 PM
 
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I used a harness (imo, a leash goes around the neck, so I don't call it that) for dd during the last month or two of my pregnancy with ds2 and for about another month or two after my c-section. I didn't want to have to keep her cooped up inside, and I just couldn't move as quickly as she could. The harness was a life-saver.

I don't see them as something to avoid. If the child doesn't like it, I won't use it. But, I'm not going to decide how to parent based on other people having hangups about my child being humiliated or something. DD didn't care, so other people's opinions are, as always where my children are concerned, totally irrelevant.

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#6 of 89 Old 01-31-2007, 06:10 PM
 
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Oh and the best thing I've ever found is to travel in packs; ie. go out w/all your Mom friends and their kids.
If I go out with all my mom friends and their kids, that totals me, dd and ds2. I have no mom friends.

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#9 of 89 Old 01-31-2007, 06:12 PM
 
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mama mia the funniest thing about us cross posting is I don't think we even repeated.
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#10 of 89 Old 01-31-2007, 06:13 PM
 
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I know, I love how we both used different search terms.

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and the all time favorite... http://www.mothering.com/discussions...hlight=highway
Aww. Memories. *sniffle*
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#11 of 89 Old 01-31-2007, 06:23 PM
 
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I bought a harness for DS since he is a runner and still is. But for some reason it never really worked out for us.

The stroller works best for me. I give him a chance to walk beside me and hold my hand but the minute he takes off back to the stroller he goes strapped down.
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#12 of 89 Old 01-31-2007, 06:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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mama mia the funniest thing about us cross posting is I don't think we even repeated.
Oi! :

I didn't mean to start another sh!t fight. Sorry. I suck at searching, I really do.

I really have no reservations or judgments one way or another about them, I was just curious what everyone else thought. DD trying to run from me when she's only been walking for an hour scared the crap out of me. LOL.

Storm Bride, that's exactly what I was thinking about the word "leash" (maybe that's why I didn't have much luck searching - I was using the wrong word maybe?). In any case, I have never even seen a child harness in real life, so I have no idea what they look like or how they work, but I just had visions of DD taking off on me at the mall or something.

I was an escape artist when I was little, so my mother and father tell me. My dads favorite story was how I got away from him at the bank and smacked everyone's butt in the line up. Then again, that could have also just been because I was with my dad, and not my mom.

Frankenstein never scared me. Marsupials do. Because they're FAST.
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#13 of 89 Old 01-31-2007, 06:30 PM
 
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I never used one, nor felt the need for one.

BUT, my nephew sooooo needed a leash. and a bunjee. Seriously, this child could run nonstop for 18 hours a day, and his tush never saw the inside of a stroller. It took three adults and a small boy to strap him into a carseat, and he shreaked and arched his back the whole trip.

If left to walk, he would run. He would run in every direction. Malls were a nightmare.

We took him to San Diego for a week. We lasted one morning before his MOm bought him a leash at the swapmart.

It is the reason he is alive today. He's 19 and has that same sense of adventure he has always had.

He moved from running, to climbing, to bikes, to motorcycles, to race cars.
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#14 of 89 Old 01-31-2007, 06:30 PM
 
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Originally Posted by North_Of_60 View Post
Oi! :

I didn't mean to start another sh!t fight. Sorry. I suck at searching, I really do. l
:
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#15 of 89 Old 01-31-2007, 06:30 PM
 
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All my google ads are about dogs.

My personal opinion is that harnesses and leashes are not optimal, but everyone's situation is different and I'm sure they can be useful in situations and not harmful. The only time I have seen them used IRL, it has bee horrible. As in, 1.5 year old starts to wander while dad talks to another soccer parent. Dad tugs on leash attached to 1.5 y/o's harness. 1.5 y/o falls on butt and starts crying, dad rolls yes. But I doubt that is the actual majority.

I live in a busy metropolitan area, so it wouldn't have ever been useful for me anyway. The sidewalk is too crowded for all that wandering. Dd has to hold my hand and stay close, and that will go on to a much older age than most suburbanite kids, who probably stop holding hands constantly by age 5 or 6. Dd will likely be 8 years old or so before she can let go of my hand on a busy sidewalk, just to prevent seperation. On slower streets she is free to roam and has since she was old enough to walk.
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#16 of 89 Old 01-31-2007, 06:33 PM
 
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Originally Posted by North_Of_60 View Post
Storm Bride, that's exactly what I was thinking about the word "leash" (maybe that's why I didn't have much luck searching - I was using the wrong word maybe?). In any case, I have never even seen a child harness in real life, so I have no idea what they look like or how they work, but I just had visions of DD taking off on me at the mall or something.
Well, I suck at searching, too, so I'm not going to look for a pic. But, dd's is just a set of straps - two go around her torso, and they're attached by other straps that go over her shoulders. Then, the handle (or "tail", as she calls it) is attached to that. It does up with a HUGE piece of velcro at the back. She loved it.


ETA: I said two straps around her torso, but I think it may only be one. I'd look and check, but I have no idea where it is...

My mom tried one with my brother, and he hated it. So, she simply had to minimize some activities with him for a while.

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#17 of 89 Old 01-31-2007, 06:34 PM
 
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I live in a busy metropolitan area, so it wouldn't have ever been useful for me anyway. The sidewalk is too crowded for all that wandering. Dd has to hold my hand and stay close...
I'm not sure why this means a harness wouldn't be useful? In that situation, if a child won't hold hands, I'd say a harness would be very useful. I'd have absolutely used one with dd if I'd taken her downtown during the period when she was bolting off.

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#18 of 89 Old 01-31-2007, 06:38 PM
 
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A child on a harness would be trampled in the area a few blocks from my home. A child's adult would need to hold the harness and not the leash to keep them close enough to be avoided by other pedestrians. My dd is too old for a harness and holds my hand and walks close to me and still gets knocked into. I have never seen a tourist in this area with a child on a harness either.
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#19 of 89 Old 01-31-2007, 06:40 PM
 
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Originally Posted by North_Of_60 View Post
In any case, I have never even seen a child harness in real life, so I have no idea what they look like or how they work, but I just had visions of DD taking off on me at the mall or something.
http://www.nextag.com/child-harness/search-html
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#20 of 89 Old 01-31-2007, 06:40 PM
 
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Yeah - that makes sense. I can't see a harness helping in that kind of mob. (I'd go crazy. I hate crowds.)

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#21 of 89 Old 01-31-2007, 06:41 PM
 
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Me too! We bolt down side streets and alleys as much as possible.
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#22 of 89 Old 01-31-2007, 06:56 PM
 
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Tried them, but my kids are like leashing cats. They immediately hit the bushes and run around lamp posts. :>
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#23 of 89 Old 01-31-2007, 06:56 PM
 
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We got one of the doggie backpack ones from Target for our trip to Disneyland. It was a lifesaver. We also wore her alot, but she was at the stage where she wanted to be down running around, and she was short enough to fit underneath the railings, etc. She loved her backpack so much we had to hide it and throw it away when she got back because she wanted to take it everywhere we went.

So, I think they are ok in really crowded places such as the airport, or Disneyland etc. Not for everyday use. I'm 37 weeks pregnant and keeping up with her is hard, but manageable.

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#24 of 89 Old 01-31-2007, 07:05 PM
 
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i haven't used one, but there before the grace of <insert higher power> go i.
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#25 of 89 Old 01-31-2007, 07:51 PM
 
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I know, I love how we both used different search terms.

and the all time favorite... http://www.mothering.com/discussions...hlight=highway


Aww. Memories. *sniffle*
yeah, that one was pretty entertaining.
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#26 of 89 Old 01-31-2007, 08:01 PM
 
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am i the only one with a toddler who will suddenly yank her hand from my grip to dart off in another direction while i have two other young kiddos i can't abandon to chase after the littlest??

i love the monkey backpack. the leash is my friend.
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#27 of 89 Old 01-31-2007, 08:05 PM
 
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The leash is our best friend. I bring my Ergo, James will tolerate it for about 3 minutes before screaming "I WALK! I WALK! I WANT DOWN! I WALK!!" while pulling my hair and kicking me. So down he goes and the leash gets put on him. He will not ride in the stroller or the cart, he has to walk.

We have that cute one except ours is the puppy dog, I held both up and he picked the puppy dog. I dont know how I would buy groceries without our harness. Couldnt live without it.

Renae wife to J :, Mama to 4.5y/o J-bird and 2y/o A : and E coming in late Dec/Early Jan. My husband had a living donor kidney transplant! :
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#28 of 89 Old 01-31-2007, 08:28 PM
 
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am i the only one with a toddler who will suddenly yank her hand from my grip to dart off in another direction while i have two other young kiddos i can't abandon to chase after the littlest??

i love the monkey backpack. the leash is my friend.
Me too!! (except I only have 2) I feel like I am going to break DS's hand when I'm holding it because he yanks so hard to let go. I still have to run when he's wearing his harness, but at least he's attached.

I do use the sling and stroller combo more often than the harness, but it has been useful.

I've also been in conversation with someone at a wedding when DS decides he wants to go somewhere and ends up dangling from the end of it. It probably looks like I'm really neglectful, but I'm a single mama, and dammit, sometimes I want to have a conversation with an adult and not have to chase after my toddler or have him do gymnastics on my shoulder.

STBX was not pleased about the "monkey on his son's back" but his mom said "when you're 9 months pregnant trying to chase after G, you can complain, until then, shut up." Gotta love that woman. And, X still has not taken DS1 and DS2 out in public together (by himself), and DS2 is 6 mo. old.
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#29 of 89 Old 01-31-2007, 09:34 PM
 
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I own two harnesses for dd ...she is very spirted and telling her do not run into the street means run into the street. I like to put her harness on and hold her hand.
http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html...sin=B000EBITU8
I would use that type of harness (looks like a stuffed animal backpack) when I was truly fearing for the safety of my child, not on regular occasions. For example- Disney, other large congested theme parks or state fairs. I do not think they should be used as babysitters. Like at a mall, walking down the street, in the home, others homes, etc. Unless these places are so extremely busy that you can't keep track of your child by holding their hand etc, don't use it.

I know there are moms out there that swear against them, but this is just my personal choice about them.
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#30 of 89 Old 01-31-2007, 09:37 PM
 
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I do not think they should be used as babysitters. Like at a mall, walking down the street, in the home, others homes, etc. Unless these places are so extremely busy that you can't keep track of your child by holding their hand etc, don't use it.
May I just ask why any of those circumstances equal using the harness "as a babysitter"?

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