Raising your Spirited Child - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 05-17-2003, 10:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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DH and I just finished the second chapter on labelling your kids and I can see this book is going to be so helpful to us. Has anyone else read it? I have to admit I've fallen into the trap of using words like stubborn, loud, bratty, crazy and this book is really makign me think and appreciate his incredibally spirited personality! Just wanted to see if there were any other parents of spirited kids out there!

Shawna, married to Michael, mommy to Elijah 1/18/01, Olivia 11/9/02, and Eliana 1/22/06
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#2 of 10 Old 05-17-2003, 10:50 PM
 
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I'm the proud mama of the wild dinosaur child with tons of spirit. I can't wait untill I find the book in the library or used but it's not able yet... Somtimes I wish he was shy and quite, but I like him just the way he is very outward and truthful. He has a deep passion for life and i'm not going to stop him.
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#3 of 10 Old 05-18-2003, 12:37 PM
 
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This book has been my lifeline time and again...it helps to know I am not crazy and she is not spoiled. That instead she is intense, persistent, sensitive, and perceptive...

What I have taken to doing is pulling one trait out a time and working on strategies to help me deal with that. I've started with her intensity.

Intensity is tough, because these kids just explode when its tantrum time...I have been using some of her strategies to help deal with my own intensity. I think I'm making my husband nuts, but I think it's better to say out loud that you are starting to feel overstimulated than to just blow...that's what my family did, and I have to unlearn that pattern to teach my DD a better one.

And the positives of intensity are that this kid sparkles, and people notice it and comment on it!
It's a wild ride, that's for sure!
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#4 of 10 Old 05-18-2003, 07:57 PM
 
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i m on the library wait list for this book... he is only 3 mos old and already shows almost all the traits of a spirited child! it is hard but i love him!
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#5 of 10 Old 05-23-2003, 01:48 PM
 
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i am a extravert spunky mom to a intravert spirited 26 month old dd and most likely spirited 8 week old dd - she is behaving the same way dd#1 did at her age

i am half way through the book and love it.

branka
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#6 of 10 Old 05-23-2003, 03:01 PM
 
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I really connected to this book, both for dd and myself. It also helped me to understand my dh better and where dd gets some of her traits that I just never related to. I am recently having a tough time again lokking at her and accepting her for who she is and need to read the book again. She has always been a child who is great one-on-one, particularly with attention-giving adults, but gets overwhelmed by loud noises and possible bright lights and the craziness of young kids everywhere.

For example, today was a birthday party for her 3yo friend (her first real one) and the mom was playing fun kids songs on their piano. Every other kid was dancing and laughing and singing to the songs. DD wanted me to sit on the couch with her and hold her as if she was scared. She just watched.

I want her to enjoy herself, but I guess my idea of enjoyable isn't hers. I want her to be unique, but not so much so that she stands out as very different. She already has food issues that cause her to be different (I had to bring her own cake and ice cream). My husband thinks I am nuts, but he doesn't see her in these situations.

Am I making any sense? Anyway, it feels good just to vent. Now I need to read the book again. Maybe I have to take darlin's advice and take one trait at a time - for her and for me. I think I have some problems dealing with my insensity too. Could be why I am so worried for her.

OK, thanks for letting me vent and for reading this is you made it this far! :
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#7 of 10 Old 05-23-2003, 07:32 PM
 
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I recently read this book and loved it! I was so surprised to find that I am a spritied adult (and and introvert). My own personality makes so much more sense to me now, and I hope to be able to understand DD if she turns out to be spirited or spunky (or mellow or whatever ).

I also agree that we must be very careful w/ any labels we choose (that includes some positive labels too). Since reading the book, though, I've been working toward getting my Mom to use the more positive labels for DD. My mom often comments on how "stubborn" DD is. I respond w/, "Yes, she is very tenacious (or goal oriented or strong willed)." When my mom gets annoyed b/c DD gets upset when she cannot have a particular object (though I personally try to keep this to a bare minimum), I say, "Yeah, DD sure know's what she wants and is willing to fight for it!" I'm finding that even I'm learning to see DD in a better light. I'm also looking at other children differently. This book and Positive Discipline have really changed my life (as cheesely as it sounds)!
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#8 of 10 Old 05-25-2003, 09:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I just finished reading it (I read fast!) and I can see it is going to be very helpful. I borrowed this copy from the library, I'll have to buy my own. Has anyone bought the workbook that goes along with it?

My hubby is a spunky extrovert.
I am a spirited introvert with some extrovert tendencies.
Elijah is a spirited extrovert.
So far I'd say Olivia is a spunky introvert, still remains to be seen but she is much more inside herself than Elijah ever was and much more calm.

Shawna, married to Michael, mommy to Elijah 1/18/01, Olivia 11/9/02, and Eliana 1/22/06
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#9 of 10 Old 05-25-2003, 11:49 PM
 
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This is a wonderful book. You all should come and join the AP spirited child list we started with the last thread on this topic a couple months ago.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Spirited_AP_Toddlers/

Darshani

7yo: "Mom,I know which man is on a quarter and which on is on a nickel. They both have ponytails, but one man has a collar and the other man is naked. The naked man was our first president."
 
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#10 of 10 Old 05-26-2003, 02:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks I just went to join right now! I can't remember my Yahoo password, arg, so I'll have to get them to send it to me. Well I will be joining soon! LOL

Shawna, married to Michael, mommy to Elijah 1/18/01, Olivia 11/9/02, and Eliana 1/22/06
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