Funny double standard.... - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 4 Old 05-18-2003, 02:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have noticed on other boards and with some "mainstream" parents that the independant thing comes up... but in 2 different forms.

Like when you co-sleep you are making your infant/child WAY to dependant, and they will for ever cling to you. If you let them CIO or sleep alone they "learn" to be independant.

Now as the child gets older they start exercising their new independance, like getting stuff for them selves, wanting to do their own thing etc, and the parents are freaking out. Their kids are too independant. What are they to do?

I think it is funny, because they want their babies independant when they really can't be, and want their older children dependant when they actually NEED independance.

HEATHERH

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#2 of 4 Old 05-18-2003, 02:54 PM
 
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I don't think people who let their kids CIO really want them to be independent, they want their kids not to bother them when they wake up in the middle of the night.
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#3 of 4 Old 05-18-2003, 04:08 PM
 
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that is interesting, heather. and kinda funny too. if only people were taught wht the normal developmental behaviour of children is, maybe they wouldn't have these crazy ideas. sigh! this stuff really needs to be taught in schools!

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#4 of 4 Old 05-18-2003, 11:12 PM
 
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This topic really interests me. I see the children of parents i know who do CIO, excessive playpen time, and TV as babysitter...and often, those little kids cling to their parents for dear life whenever they have the rare chance to be held in their arms. To me, the effort to make kids be "independent" creates exactly the opposite. My kid, on the other hand, runs freely and plays like crazy because he knows I won't be trying to foist him off into a crib or something later on, when he wants to be close.
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