Just my personal experience here -- take it or leave it.
When my ds1 was a newborn I began going to a bfing support group offered by our hospital (I still go, five years later
) and met some wonderful mamas who all had babes within months of mine. I started to notice that as the meetings would wrap up they would be discussing going down to a little diner a couple blocks away for lunch, but no one said anything to me. This was the same group of mamas that I had just spent two hours laughing and talking with and I couldn't figure it out.
This went on for a month, every Friday, and I just became more and more hurt every week trying to figure out why I was being excluded out of this group of about 6 - 8 mamas. Nothing like adding that to a new mother's plate.
: Finally, I made a point one week to be move really close one week as they were discussing it (often loudly across the room to each other). I acted like she had been talking to me and I hadn't understood what one of them said and said "what did you say?" She replied, "Oh, nothing. We're just getting ready to head down to the diner for lunch." I decided to get bold and said "would you mind if I tagged along? I have nothing at home in my fridge, and Mc Donalds just doesn't sound good."
She was like "Sure!!! We would love it!!" Well as we were talking a the diner, it turns out that when they first decided to do it after the weekly meeting they each thought that one of the other gals had told me about it, so in all actuality, no one had. I was not intentionally being left out, they all thougth that I knew about it, and knew that it was an open invitation. When I told them I had felt left out they all felt terrible. Since they thought I knew, they just figured that I had something going on after the meetings and couldn't come. They weren't intending to be rude, it was just a misunderstanding.
Perhaps since these women are discussing it around you, they are figuring that if you were interested in joining them you would jump in. Perhaps they aren't being rude at all. I know that I often discuss plans in front of other mama's that I'm friends or acquantiances with, in the hopes that if they are interested, they will speak up. I have made so many ovatures in the past to mamas to join me or my group, but they never do. Either they have things going on then, or they find it harder to get out of the house than I do, or for whatever reason. I don't take it personally.
I'm guessing that the next time these moms discuss meeting while you are there and you asked if they would mind if you joined them, the response would be a positive one.
BTW, I am one of the more AP minded of my friends. Many spank on occasion, have ferberized their children, and are much more mainstream than I when it comes to parenting, but for me, it isn't much of an issue. I hope that I can be an example to moms that AP works. I must be doing something right, cause three of my best friends are now members of MDC.