Sexing up our kids.... - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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Old 06-15-2003, 10:35 PM
 
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There seem to be two issues:

!) How much skin is exposed (and on what body parts)

2) The actual cut and style of the clothing.

I personally don't care how much skin my dd has exposed (she's 2 1/2) and I think anyone who sees any part of her exposed skin in a sexual way has problems that no change of clothes can fix.

IMO it is the style of clothes for this age that is unappealing. A dress might cover her all the way up, but if it has glitter all over the chest and "SEXY" painted on in red, it gives HER (not the potential molester, but HER) the wrong message about her body.
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Old 06-16-2003, 03:32 AM
 
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well-said, dot.mom!!

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Old 06-16-2003, 04:22 AM
 
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I couldn't agree more commericalism has gotten way out of hand.
It is so sad.
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Old 06-16-2003, 01:51 PM
 
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I think you have to take in to account individual children as well. My 6 year old niece is very tall and thin, and her 3 year old sister is just plain huge (40", 43#). Some things are adorable on the skinny one, but when the 3 year old puts them on, she looks like a kiddie porn star.

My sister was very young when my older niece was born (15), and I still remember her bringing home a sluttified version of a Catholic schoolgirl uniform for her then 18 month old daughter; A not-quite-diaper-covering plaid skirt with a gold chain and a shiny blouse with no buttons until half-way down. I threw a fit when I saw it, and finally won out with this argument: She'll only have ten or eleven years when she'll be cute in a jumper and turtleneck; average lifespan being 70-odd years, that gives her at least 40 years when she'll be out of the house, doing her own thing, and able to dress like a whore if she wants too. The skirt and blouse were returned the next day.

Interestingly enough, my sister is now a most vocal opponent of what she calls "molest my child" clothing. Her daughter is already very popular with the boys (she's very pretty), and my sister has no desire to be a grandparent before she hits 30. She searches through every clearance rack in the mall looking for non-hoochie clothing for her girls.

I think we need to write letters to people; make up petitions and send them to the buyers for major department stores & boutiques. If no one says anything, then this will just go on.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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Old 06-16-2003, 03:29 PM
 
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Some things are adorable on the skinny one, but when the 3 year old puts them on, she looks like a kiddie porn star.
I think, though, just to be fair to children with different body types, I won't restrict clothing based on that. I think if I have an overweight child and a skinny one, they can dress the same way without having to be told "You can't wear what your sister does or all your fat will hang out" or "Your bony shoulders will show if you wear that."

Same goes for breasts - I think if a flat-chested girl and a busty girl both want to wear something lowcut, either tell them both they can wear it or that they both can't.

I want to encourage girls to love their looks and body types, not to feel more self-conscious about them.
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Old 06-16-2003, 03:52 PM
 
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She's not fat, she's just not built like her toothpick sister.. they look ridiculous wearing each others clothes!

I am (at present) a fat person, and you honestly couldn't pay me enough to wear jeans that show my belly. I'm all for being proud of your body, and I love my curves, but some people shouldn't wear some things. I don't think that the latest fashion is for everyone!

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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Old 06-17-2003, 04:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I have slowly been reading the replys here for awhile. It took me some time to write again because I felt a little attacked.

Dot.mom great point and really what I was trying to say. My DD when she was little had loads of clothes that showed off her baby fat... BUT nothing like what is out there today. There is cute and then there is just weird. A child shouldn't be wearing clothes that say "sexy" or "brat" or whatever else they say on those shirts and dresses. I think I was trying to say... and it came out wrong... was that the clothing that is avalible for girls seems too mature.

I do believe there are things that adults do that aren't for kids to do. I don't personally drink alcohol, but if I did... just because I had a glass of wine or a beer does not maker it OK for a child to do it. Or driving a car... NOT OK for a 6 year old. Because I choose on occation to show off my belly, doesn't mean that a little girl should be going out in thong underwear, platform sandles and a tank top that says "Sexy". There is a difference... I am having a hard time finding the words to say what I mean, but there is and I think people kind of "know it".

Like I said my DD had CUTE!!! dresses that showed off her diapers, but they LOOKED like little kid clothes... does that make since? They didn't look like something that was made for an adult only really small.

Also it was brought up about kids having a say in what they wear... SURE!!! But like in somethings I have the "final" say. I feel lucky my DD doesn't want tops that say "sexy" or "Spoiled" and so on. She also likes her shorts to actually cover her butt. All of my kids have the final word in how they combine the clothing that they have (even if I have to bite my tongue!: ) But I won't buy them something if it is to mature for them.

I am not sure if I made any more since this time... hopefully I did.

H

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Old 06-17-2003, 02:09 PM
 
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I personally can't stand the diaper-revealing style! Not that I see anything sexual about it, I just don't think it looks good.

While I think there are things that adults can do but kids can't - a very, very limited number of things - I think it's always possible to find a compromise. Like maybe they can't drink alcohol, but the next day they can go out to their favorite restaurant and order whatever they want.

T
This is not about clothes, but has anyone noticed that adults often try to make babies' interactions with each other all about sexuality? People who have girls often hear comments about "Oh, the neighbors just had a boy, he can be a boyfriend for her!" Why can't they just be two babies who play together?

I saw this card where there were babies in a hospital nursery, with pacifiers, of course, and this baby boy is leaning over his crib saying to a baby girl "Hey, I know where I can get you some milk!" The girl is wearing makeup, BTW. Inside it said "Congratulations on the birth of your new ladies' man!" Disgusting, IMO.

What if it were reversed? Would anyone buy a card that said "Congratulations on your little hot mama?" or that showed a baby girl with boys all around her bringing her things that said "She's got the men working for her already!"
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Old 06-17-2003, 05:18 PM
 
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I just see it as being fair. And I don't say everyone should do it, I do it because it's what works for my family. If it ever stops working, I'll stop doing it.

Luckily I don't drink alcohol.

More about clothes: Some people say it's not just the sexy clothes they don't like, but any clothes that look more like adult clothes. (Such as ties for boys or pearl necklaces for girls.)

I do like to buy some clothes that are just really obviously kids' clothes, with lots of bold patterns and bright colors. I got this one-piece long sleeved and long legged jumper for dd that has big horizontal red, yellow and purple stripes that's just great! Same thing with toys, I like buying classic things like balls, trucks and blocks.
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Old 06-17-2003, 06:46 PM
 
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I sooooooo agree!

(I havent read other posts yet so hope I am not way off here!)

I cant stand all this animal print stuff, pleather, hooker boots (up to and past the knee, you know the ones). My 4 y/o old cousin was sportin a black laced t-shirt (boasting a nice big BARBIE logo no less) the other day and I am thinkin would I wear that in the bedroom???? What is up with that???

We never buy our kids clothes, the only grandchildren both sides so the relatives come bearing gifts for the girls all the time. I am not happy that it is mostly name brand stuff but atleast it is suitable for little girls.

Edited to add...
There is too much attention paid to what kids are wearing, so often the first thing people comment on is how cute a dress is, why cant they notice how polite they are, how clever they are, how much fun they are having etc. I have to admit that I was totally guilty of this until I realized the error of my ways. When dd#1 was about 2.5yrs. I often caught myself saying to her "Oh look how cute you are...go show Daddy how pretty you are in that dress, GASP!, did I say that??? Yuck, I stared watching my words much more closely. The last thing I want is for my dd's to think they are what they wear!
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Old 06-17-2003, 06:57 PM
 
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[i]

T
This is not about clothes, but has anyone noticed that adults often try to make babies' interactions with each other all about sexuality? People who have girls often hear comments about "Oh, the neighbors just had a boy, he can be a boyfriend for her!" Why can't they just be two babies who play together?

[/B]
Again, I agree agree agree!!!

I see this all the time at baby circles...two babies lying beside each other and the mothers doting over them "Oh arent they cute together, they will make a beautiful couple some day" UGH! Or baby boys are often called 'flirts', "oh he is such a flirt" Excuse me he is only 8 months old what in the heck are you talking about???

Dont these mother realize what they are talking about?
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Old 06-17-2003, 07:51 PM
 
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I agree with mamaofthree - it's not the skin showing as much as it is the "adult" look of the clothes. I saw a two year old girl today wearing a midriff-baring ruffly blouse with little ladybugs on it and denim pants with ruffles at the hem, and a matching ladybug hat. She looked adorable. When I was little, in the 70's, I had lots of summer halter tops that showed my belly. It's the clothes that try to look sexy that are the problem.

And what is up with those damn words on little girls' clothing? especially "Princess" - I hope I'm not offending anyone here who buys this stuff, but it seems like every third article of clothing on a rack these days has the word "princess" on it. My daughter plays princess all the time, but the word has some negative connotations when used to describe girls sometimes, "Oh, she's such a princess" implies that the child is spoiled. JMHO. And don't even get me started on clothes that say "Spoiled."

On a funnier note, though, a good friend of mine bought a shirt for her SON that she found in the girls' section - it would have been obnoxious on a girl, but it is too cute on a boy. It has a picture of a stick-figure face with an open mouth, like it is growling, and it says "Boys are scary" on it!
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Old 06-17-2003, 10:43 PM
 
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I think it's so much more about clothes and how much skin they show...my dd has a tight-fitting spaghetti strap tank top that does have some glitter on it, but flowers instead of words, and she most definitely does not look "like a whore"! She looks sunny and cute! Real whores nowadays just wear jeans and sweatshirts, but you can tell they are whores right when you look at them. I think it's all about the energy that surrounds the situation. If a kid is raised to think she has to be sexy, or that the most important thing is her body, you can tell something is wrong just by being around her, no matter what she is wearing.
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