What to do when grandparents carry guns? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 06-03-2003, 07:44 PM - Thread Starter
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We've booked a beach vacation with my mother and step-father. It dawned on my today as I watched dd rumage through my purse for the 50th time, that my mother carries a gun in hers. My stepfather carries a gun in his pocket everywhere he goes! We'll be at the beach with them for a week. I have asked (via email because I'm a chicken) them to leave the guns at home, but I haven't gotten a reply, so I'm assuming they aren't happy by my request. Did I have a right to ask that? Accidents happen and this is my baby!!! Has anyone else dealt with this sort of thing?
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#2 of 12 Old 06-03-2003, 07:52 PM
 
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Acutally we keep guns in our house, right now they are all locked up. If they insist on carrying it, tell them THEY MUST put it OUT OF REACH once they arrive or lock it in a gun case. I would tell them that you WILL hold them 100% reposible for ANYTHING that happens with that gun (good or bad). You have to put your foot down on this one.

Another thing I would do is if they bring it ask for them to show it to your dd for a sec, say "no no" "Owie" or however you can comunicate to her. DS (just a few months older) knows hot and owie/boo boo. It does help but still working on the electrical outlets (they have covers JIC).

If they are responisble gun owners, THEY will take extra precautions when around you and your family. You do have a right to ask that, you are show concern about gun safety. If they do bring them, don't let that concern go out the window try to comprimise

HTH
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#3 of 12 Old 06-03-2003, 10:23 PM
 
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Dont be chicken, this is your childs life you are talking about. You'll feel better for having said something ahead of time, rather than after, should something bad happen. You have every right to demand the safest situation for your child. And after your parents agree to leave their gun at home youll be able to have a more relaxed vacation.
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#4 of 12 Old 06-03-2003, 10:25 PM
 
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I don't care how responsible they are, if it were me either they leave the guns at home or I wouldn't go. Taking responsiblity for anything that happens will be no consolation when your child is shot in the head.

I mean really, you're fearing for your life on a beach vacation??

And the only way those guns would be safe in the house with kids is if they were unloaded, locked away somewhere, ammo locked away somewhere else.....and then what is the point of having them?

It's one week out of their life. They can deal with being apart from their guns.

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#5 of 12 Old 06-03-2003, 11:25 PM
 
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My pediatrician told always to ask when going to a relative or friends house whether they have a gun and how they handle it (locked, loaded, etc). She says this is as much a public health issue as carseat safety, dog bite safety, and keeping the kids away from sharp knives.

My one year old son (this was 3.5 years ago) found a gun my grandfather left under a throw pillow on the couch (grrrr....) and Ben PUT THE HANDLE IN HIS MOUTH.

The gun wasn't loaded, but the safety was off, and...thank God we weren't the lead story on the local news station that Thanksgiving. ("Toddler shoots self in mouth in freak tragedy on Thanksgiving...")

Say something, and be firm. No vacation if gun safety isn't priority #1. Period.

Best of luck to you,

Mel
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#6 of 12 Old 06-04-2003, 01:16 AM
 
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Certainly I'd make this a condition of going. If they turn up with the guns, go home.

a

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#7 of 12 Old 06-04-2003, 08:35 AM - Thread Starter
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Just as I thought, my mother and stepfather weren't happy with my request. My mother said she wasn't even going to insult herself by answering me. I guess that means she doesn't respect me enough as a mother to think my concern is valid. I expected this. I kinda thought she'd just say "Okay" and bring them anyway (lie). But looks like there's gonna be a fight!
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#8 of 12 Old 06-04-2003, 09:06 AM
 
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I agree with Piglet 68 and everyone else who said, "DON'T GO if they don't agree!!" And putting the guns up high does NOT cut it!! Tell them they can bring the guns to the beach house if they also bring two locked safes, one for the guns and one for the ammo. The idea of carrying guns around a baby / toddler is just so crazy I don't even know what to say!
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#9 of 12 Old 06-04-2003, 09:17 AM - Thread Starter
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Well, I thought so! But they are acting like I'm being "silly". My relationship with my mother is so broken and unfixable. Just when I think things are on the up, something happens to remind me that it's just too broken. Very sad.
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#10 of 12 Old 06-04-2003, 11:57 AM
 
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I would not go if they are bringing guns. I would not let my children be around them when they are carrying guns. I wouldn't visit them in their own home if they have guns.

I lost both a five year old cousin and a brother in law (separate incidents) to guns which were supposedly safely stored. In my personal opinion, guns and people do not belong in the same vicinity.

Your child's safety is far more important that any ruffled feelings of adults.
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#11 of 12 Old 06-04-2003, 12:03 PM - Thread Starter
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Well, after a big knock-down-drag-out this morning, my mother rather sweetly acknowledged that I was right and she agreed (and so did my step-father), so it's all been laid out on the table. No guns at our house or when we're away together. And when we're at their house, they must be locked up in the safe.

Thanks for all the words of encouragement.
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#12 of 12 Old 06-04-2003, 02:04 PM
 
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