The road trip from you know where - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 03-28-2007, 09:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Last week we went on a road trip vacation with my 5 yo DS and 4 mo old DD. We ended up with major car trouble and my parents had to bail us out by driving us to our destination and spending the majority of the vacation with us.

The road trip was extremely tough. DD BF's on demand so DH and I are used to stopping a lot, no questions asked, to feed her if she seems hungry. As the trip wore on she became very agitated with spending so much time in her carseat. Sometimes it was difficult to tell if she was hungry or simply frustrated. My parents were angered by having to stop several times for me to feed her. They told me she was spoiled and would run all over me when she was a teenager. I spent a lot of the trip listening to her cry unable to do anything because they didn't want to stop. It was just awful. I just sat there and cried. I was ever so grateful that they helped us out but this I had not anticipated.

While my mom kept talking about how spoiled she was and doting on my son more as if her being "spoiled" made her undeserving of her attention, she baby talked her stupid cat the entire trip. Every time I thought she was talking to Willow, she was talking to that damn cat. The cat even came with us in the truck and sat on her lap. So it's okay to spoil the cat, just not the baby.

Anyway, things culminated the last time we stopped before our destination because she wouldn't stop crying. My mom turned around from the front seat and said "that baby is starving to death. You need to give her some food. This is ridiculous. You will never be able to have a life if you keep spoiling her like this." I stood my ground though. I said that her weight was fine and that sometimes BF'ing is like this. I told her we would just have to agree to disagree on parenting philosophies. My mother was just so disgusted. I swear, it was as if she wouldn't pay my daughter any attention because of it. Of course this comes from a woman who brags about bottle propping and CIO'ing when my brother and I were babies.

I just wanted to share how tough it was to not have a support system on the road like I have on these boards. I knew what I was doing was right but other than DH, I felt like the wacko being ostracized the entire time, not to mention the pain of hearing DD crying so much.
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#2 of 10 Old 03-28-2007, 09:17 PM
 
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Oh honey, I'm so sorry That sounds so incredibly awful. I couldn't even imagine how stressful that must have been, for all of you

I would imagine though, that you mom will become even more damaging, now that she has seen how you are "spoiling" your daughter, and I would expect a lot more "friendly" advice from her. Sigh.
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#3 of 10 Old 03-29-2007, 09:18 AM
 
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Oh man, I'm so sorry. What a horrible experience. We pull over all the time too, to nurse or mostly just because my infant hate the car with a passion and I have to calm him down. I've been in the same spot before, crying while they cry, and it's heartbreaking. I took a short road trip with my MIL last week and even though she didn't say a word it was still miserable having to pull over/listen to crying, with someone not in the immediate family in the car. I can't imagine if someone was being as rude as your mom, I would've freaked out (I can hear my mom now "He'll eventually fall asleep if you let him cry"). I think it's truly awful your mom treated your baby differently as a result of her crying - that's really messed up. I agree with pp that she'll probably have tons of "friendly advice" for you now. Ugh! I just feel your pain all the way around and I'm sorry you had to go through that!
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#4 of 10 Old 03-29-2007, 09:55 AM
 
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That must have been so awful.

you're doing a great job. Car travel with little ones is so hard. As for your mother

I would have been tempted to leave her somewhere
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#5 of 10 Old 03-29-2007, 03:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for all the support ladies. I'm sure glad to be home after all of that stress. I need a vacation from my vacation!
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#6 of 10 Old 03-29-2007, 04:38 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marybethorama View Post


As for your mother

I would have been tempted to leave her somewhere
:
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#7 of 10 Old 03-29-2007, 05:04 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pixiewytch View Post
The cat even came with us in the truck and sat on her lap. So it's okay to spoil the cat, just not the baby.
She had the cat on her lap in a moving car? Isn't that dangerous? You should have given her a big, "if you really cared about that cat you'd would have in in some sort of carrier in case of an accident" speech. Turn the guilt around. People are not the only ones injured in crashes :

nothing more to say I guess :
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#8 of 10 Old 03-30-2007, 09:56 AM
 
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Oh I am so sorry. There is little worse for a mommas well being than to have to listen to your child cry and be unable to do anything about it.

FYI, check out DR. Sear's Baby Book and the section on nursing a child while they are still strapped into their car seat. I myself have done it many times while stuck in rush hour traffic. Not the most comfortable thing in the world but better than the alternative you were forced to endure.
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#9 of 10 Old 03-30-2007, 10:24 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh wow, I wish I had known about that before. Thanks for telling me about it.
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#10 of 10 Old 03-30-2007, 05:40 PM
 
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Oh, sweetie -- that isn't fair at all. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

I was given a hard time by an aunt and my grandmother, in a similar situation, because I refused to take the baby out of the carseat and hold him to nurse him while the car was moving.

I learned how to nurse my 2nd baby by buckling in beside his rear facing seat and leaning over with my breast in his mouth! I *wish* you had done that -- I can just imagine the look on your mother's face if you had!!!
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