Stollers???? AP or Mainstream? - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#91 of 96 Old 05-23-2004, 10:20 PM
 
Piglet68's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Vancouver Island, Canada
Posts: 11,097
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
What I find so interesting is that there are a hundred times more defensive posts along the lines of "I do X, Y, Z and I am attached so lay off" then posts actually saying "if you do X, Y, Z then you are not attached".

I'm getting really sick of these threads full of people defending their use of strollers. The "reaction" is so far outweighing the supposed provocation that it's laughable. Do you know how pathetic and defensive we all sound? Why on earth would anybody feel the need to defend use of a stroller on an AP board where we are all pretty much on board with the attachment theory thing. Because your kid fell asleep and you didn't want to wake him? Oh my, you must be an awful parent. Frankly, threads like this make MDC seem ridiculous, and it pains me that all the good here is washed away by 6 page threads full of defensiveness against NOTHING.

I challenge people to come up with threads where the theme is "If you use [insert gadget or formula here] then you are not AP". Once in a blue moon, some overzealous mama comes along and posts something to that effect, which of course is immediately pointed out to be the foolishness that it is.

OTOH, in ten minutes I could come up with a dozen five page threads full of posts where people rail against the supposed "AP label, laundry-lists, accusations of using particular gadgets, etc...what is AP, blah blah blah" that MDC is supposedly rife with.

I'm just really, really tired of this. It gives our boards an unfair, untrue, and bad reflection to newbies, and it's frankly pathetic that so many of us feel the need to defend against this largely-made-up, most definitely hyperbolized, "enemy" of the "militant AP black-and-white judgments" mamas that supposedly are everywhere here and yet......surprise!....i never see them.

I'm beginning to think that we are our own worst enemies. The more threads like this I see, the more I think there is too much defensiveness and downright insecurity around here. Our problem isn't the odd radical who oversteps the bounds of tact, it's our own lack of confidence in our ability as parents. I use or have used an infant carrier and a stroller and have never felt the need to defend it's use to anybody. It's obvious to me that I'm "AP" and that's all the matters.

teapot2.GIF Homeschooling, Homesteading Mama to DD ('02) and DS ('04)  ribbonjigsaw.gif blogging.jpg homeschool.gif

Piglet68 is offline  
#92 of 96 Old 05-23-2004, 10:24 PM
 
Mom4tot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Pemberley
Posts: 15,556
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Piglet!

~Joan, Happy mom to 2 beautiful kiddos, one new puppy and 2 lovely felines
Mom4tot is offline  
#93 of 96 Old 05-24-2004, 12:39 PM
 
IdentityCrisisMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 10,744
Mentioned: 5 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 107 Post(s)
I, personally, don't think I’m defensive on this thread. I agree that there are very few people going around saying they are "anti-stroller" or that using a stroller is against being "AP". In fact, I have only heard of this idea on these "mainstream vs. AP" threads, which is why I said that I don't take the issue seriously.

On another thread similar to this one I said that I am only "AP" because it's the label I found that best fit my existing parenting style. I guess that is why I don't get upset that I may do something that is or isn't "AP" -- I don't do things *because* they are "AP" -- I was "AP" before I had even heard of the term.

I'm responding because some things that I said were somewhat misunderstood and I feel like I want to clarify what I meant...

Quote:
Originally Posted by heartmama
I just don't like it when people get into conversations like this and start....commiserating?...to each other in some way, for "not" feeling strongly about an issue. "Oh what's the big deal, it's an object, why do people get so worked up over it" etc. It puts a kind of stigma on people who do feel passionately and marginalizes them in the conversation, and I don't like it. It's not silly to feel passionately about an attachment issue.

Sure, if someone comes in here and says "Parents who use strollers are bad people and don't love their kids", go ahead and get pissed, I understand not wanting to hear that kind of judgement. But that wasn't what was was said.
I feel very strongly about issues that have to do with stroller use. But, like Farmer Mama said,

Quote:
Originally Posted by farmer mama
I am not taking a stand against strollers, but taking a stand for holding my children. It is not a question of not having a use for a stroller, it is choosing not to use one.
By the way FM, could you talk a little about getting around any stroller issues? Do you need to carry things to and from your home? I'm just wondering how you do that with children in tow. That would be my biggest issue - getting food and recycling in and out of the house with a toddler.

I hope you don't feel like I've put any stigma on you or that I've marginalized your passion. Seriously, when I said "it's just an object" I didn't mean that I don't totally respect the lifestyle of someone that doesn’t use a stroller -- I meant that the *lifestyle* is the impressive thing, yk?

Another issue that goes along with stroller use that I *do* feel passionately about is the use of the car. I've often been surprised that excessive car use isn't addressed more here at MDC. Because I've lived without a personal car for over 5 years now I know that the issue can become *either* the stroller or the car. When I say that it's the lifestyle over the object this is what I had in mind. It is possible to be dedicated to attachment, health and safety and have those choices necessitate a stroller, more so than if weren't so concerned about those things.

The last issue *for me* that I think about with stroller use is consumerism. It is a big problem that we feel like we "need" so many things for our children. I would love to see more discussion on parents taking a stand against all the crap we are told we "need" to go with our children.

Now, I know the whole disclaimer thing has been talked about but I do feel a nagging need to make one. I'm trying to find a balance between expressing my passions and not offending people so I did just want to say that I *know* there are many more issues with this - especially physical limitations to baby wearing and specific lifestyle issues.

Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
IdentityCrisisMama is offline  
#94 of 96 Old 05-24-2004, 12:51 PM
 
Piglet68's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Vancouver Island, Canada
Posts: 11,097
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
....I don't get upset that I may do something that is or isn't "AP" -- I don't do things *because* they are "AP" -- I was "AP" before I had even heard of the term.
Well said!


Quote:
The last issue *for me* that I think about with stroller use is consumerism. It is a big problem that we feel like we "need" so many things for our children. I would love to see more discussion on parents taking a stand against all the crap we are told we "need" to go with our children.

Yes! This is the context in which I usually take such threads about "gadgets". People (not here, usually) need to understand that while certain gadgets have their uses, they aren't all "necessary". I totally HATE the consumer-driven, gadget oriented culture around babies. They're all stroller-bound, bottle-drinking, pacifier-sucking, mobile-playing, crib-sleeping images....one would think you can't have a baby without a credit card from Babys 'R Us!

teapot2.GIF Homeschooling, Homesteading Mama to DD ('02) and DS ('04)  ribbonjigsaw.gif blogging.jpg homeschool.gif

Piglet68 is offline  
#95 of 96 Old 05-25-2004, 01:27 PM
 
feebeeglee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 2,751
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
feebeeglee is offline  
#96 of 96 Old 05-25-2004, 02:47 PM
 
farmer mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: within my harvest
Posts: 1,387
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
IdentityCrisisMama- Sorry I haven't responded to your question. Let's see, I live in a rural area so walking to town or taking a bus isn't an option. My compromise is that I only drive once a week and fit shopping, errands, storytimes, playgroups, etc into this day. We have woods and a stream, with lots of animals and walking areas around so we keep busy just staying home. My kids are homeschooled (unschooled) and I limit outside homeschool related classes and activities to once a week for now. I shop once a week and get all my bulk items, so we don't have to make extra trips to the store. Ideally it would be great if I didn't have to drive at all, but it was the choice we made by choosing to live outside of a city. Good for you for not using a car. BTW- It is kind of funny that I made it sound like "in-arms parenting" is such a major passion for me. I think my passion is truely striving for a more natural and instinctual lifestyle and parenting style, encompassing but not limited to baby wearing.
farmer mama is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off