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Immediate family often stays at the wake the entire time, but clearly it's an exception if you have a small child that needs to nurse (or run around if a bit older). So it's probably doable to attend the wake but pop out to the car as needed to nurse. Or, just discreetly NIP if you're okay with that.
If you go to the wake, could you and DD stay at the hotel during the funeral and just send DH?
I think that babies are totally fine to bring to wakes and funerals in general (in fact in my experience they tend to be a help at wakes because they give people something to talk about/focus on other than just grieving), but if you can save your DD a long ride in the car it might be better for her.
I'm sorry to hear about your husband's grandmother.
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