Has anyone actually read Ezzo's stuff? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

Reply
 
Thread Tools
#31 of 38 Old 06-13-2003, 06:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
laralou's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: little house in the suburbs
Posts: 4,803
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally posted by LunaMom
if she was nursing the twins on demand it would have been impossible. I can certainly see how scheduling of some sort would be necessary in her situation.
It isn't impossible because I am doing it. I am doing it without the help of a spouse since dh works out of town during the week and without the help of friends since I don't know anyone here (we moved here after the girls were born). I have a 9yo with numerous activities and I am constantly carting him to practices, games, camp, the pool and friend's houses.

My only concession to a schedule is that I try to keep the girls close to being on the same routine. Meaning when I feed one, I offer to the other. I don't refuse to feed one if the other isn't hungry, nor do I keep one up if the other isn't sleepy. They eat when hungry and sleep when sleepy, hopefully together but many times not.

I don't blame people who offer feedings at regular times. I do NOT approve of refusing to feed a baby that is hungry because it isn't the right time. I also do NOT approve of someone that deliberately lets her kids cry to force them to sleep at parent directed times or force them to stay in a playpen or playroom. Refusing to meet your babies needs is not necessary to raise twins. There is always another option like getting a mother's helper.

Sorry to rant but that "you can't raise twins without a schedule" thing is something I hear all the time and it is just not true.
laralou is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#32 of 38 Old 06-13-2003, 08:04 PM
 
MaShroom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: definitely to the left
Posts: 1,519
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
perhaps "schedule" and "routine" could be somewhat synonymous? just a thought.

i'm reading babywise right now, i bought it at a local used children's things store. i told the owner i was buying it to take home and set on fire. hope i didn't offend her.

i was thinking how nice it would be to have some of the benefits that this book claims to provide. it occurred to me that if i could just get my act together a little and give the babes some structure it would be a good thing. but i would certainly never use those methods.

i really don't know if i'm going to get through this book. so far it has just given me a headache. much easier on my brain to read excerpts.
MaShroom is offline  
#33 of 38 Old 06-13-2003, 08:44 PM
 
lenswyf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 28
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
No, this friend did the Ezzo thing with her oldest, too. With the twins she was even more obsessed with getting them on a schedule and sleeping through the night. We actually came to be friends when she just had her ds -- and part of it was that I was the one person she knew who could come play when she wanted someone to come play.

Routine and schedule are synonyms in the dictionary, but they do mean different things. "Routine" is habit or custom. "Schedule" is agenda, timetable.

I think that all babies eventually settle into a routine by themselves that makes life reasonably predictablebut it's not a hard and fast schedule.
lenswyf is offline  
#34 of 38 Old 06-13-2003, 08:55 PM
 
veganmamma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Yikes, living w/ my ILs!
Posts: 4,354
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I read Babywise. My friend had gotten froma used store and made them promise not to ever buy it again. She kept obsessing over it so I took it away and obsessed over it myself. I read it in one evening. Lara- you're right, it is TOTALLY a reaction to AP and he makes up stuff, like how AP is based on birth trauma. What a lame-o. I don't want to get into what AP is, but it is a parenting style adapted from the work of John Bowlby and his Attachment Theory which has more to do with building trust and security than birht trauma, in fact, I don't remeber a lot of birth trauma anything in Attachment Theory. Anyway, I have since decided that "Know thine enemy" is too stressful!
Lauren
veganmamma is offline  
#35 of 38 Old 06-13-2003, 11:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
laralou's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: little house in the suburbs
Posts: 4,803
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally posted by lenswyf
Routine and schedule are synonyms in the dictionary, but they do mean different things. "Routine" is habit or custom. "Schedule" is agenda, timetable.

I think that all babies eventually settle into a routine by themselves that makes life reasonably predictablebut it's not a hard and fast schedule.
Yup, that's what I meant. A schedule, in my mind, is a timetable set by the parents. A routine is what the girls fall into on their own when I am listening to their cues.



Lauren, doesn't it make you wonder who he has met that practiced, or claimed to, ap that he is reacting so violently to?

nak
laralou is offline  
#36 of 38 Old 06-14-2003, 12:44 AM
 
veganmamma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Yikes, living w/ my ILs!
Posts: 4,354
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
YES!! And did you notice he is anti CD, pro circ and thinks FF is pretty much just as good, especially if BFing is "hard" Did some AP person beat over the head with a Sears book or soemthing?
L
veganmamma is offline  
#37 of 38 Old 06-14-2003, 09:09 AM
 
LunaMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: orbiting the earth
Posts: 2,380
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally posted by laralou
My only concession to a schedule is that I try to keep the girls close to being on the same routine. Meaning when I feed one, I offer to the other. I don't refuse to feed one if the other isn't hungry, nor do I keep one up if the other isn't sleepy. They eat when hungry and sleep when sleepy, hopefully together but many times not.

I don't blame people who offer feedings at regular times. I do NOT approve of refusing to feed a baby that is hungry because it isn't the right time. I also do NOT approve of someone that deliberately lets her kids cry to force them to sleep at parent directed times or force them to stay in a playpen or playroom. Refusing to meet your babies needs is not necessary to raise twins. There is always another option like getting a mother's helper.

Sorry to rant but that "you can't raise twins without a schedule" thing is something I hear all the time and it is just not true.
I see your point, and I don't think that the friend I mentioned would ever refuse to feed a hungry baby or purposely keep one baby awake, or let one of her babies cry it out. I'm not really sure how she implemented her "schedule," and perhaps it is more of a routine. I wonder if she just read the book based on a recommendation, and took a couple of things that made sense and threw out the rest? Intelligent people can adapt things to meet their own needs.

Of course, my view is that I wouldn't want to support in any way something that offends me, so if I heard of a book that had one relevant chapter but the rest went against my beliefs, I just wouldn't want to use it at all on principle. But that's my own way.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I still think Ezzo is sick, horrible, evil, etc., but perhaps we shouldn't automatically judge as bad parents anyone who claims to have used his methods, or assume that only cold, unloving people would find a use for his book. Am I making sense here? I think my above post might not have come across in the way I meant it!
LunaMom is offline  
#38 of 38 Old 06-16-2003, 10:53 AM
 
Periwinkle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 8,530
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I wanted to chime in with my $.02. I also have 1 year old twins who are on a routine -- albeit a highly flexible one -- no doubt about it. Demand feeding them 100% of the time is sadly just not do-able with twins in spite of my best efforts. Many mothers of multiples need to make various compromises to their strong convictions and be flexible & adaptable to meet everyone's needs. That being said, it sounds like your friend didn't "do" BabyWise. For example, my two were probably finally on the same general routine from around 6 or 7 months old, but we did it with no CIO, no isolation, no "scheduling/timekeeping", absolutely no punishing or anything of the sort. It was more just a gradual teaching/shifting of their sleep/wake/hunger patterns to fit with the rest of the family's. It all seemed pretty natural to us actually.

A lot of people equate "BabyWise" with "a baby on a routine." In my opinion, it's the means, not the end, that's mostly in question with BabyWise. For example, a healthy 12 pounder who naturally starts sleeping longer durations at night doesn't have to be awoken to feed for heaven's sake! But trying to get a baby to sleep longer at night by ignoring her cries for hunger... now THAT'S wrong.
I just wanted to chime in with my experience, because I have definitely had people ask me, e.g., when I go to prepare lunch for both DD and DS at the same time or whatever, "Oh, did you do BabyWise??" So it sounds like your friend didn't "do BabyWise", she just did what she needed to do to make her family work... but still in a gentle, AP-as-possible way.
Periwinkle is offline  
Reply


User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Online Users: 8,357

17 members and 8,340 guests
Choochoo52812 , cloa513 , coconotcoco , elegantmu04 , frontier056 , indianhub07 , JoyfamMama , katelove , kevinwalker , kici04 , LauraN , mckittre , omarinbox1888 , selenadowney11 , shantimama
Most users ever online was 449,755, 06-25-2014 at 12:21 PM.