Any Moms of An Only Child Tribe - Page 15 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#421 of 1646 Old 11-01-2007, 11:23 AM
 
caspian's mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: in my head
Posts: 2,165
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
stick to your gut and get that second opinion. it sounds like your research runs really counter to what this doc's saying. good luck with everything and ~hugs~ to your little bean.
caspian's mama is offline  
#422 of 1646 Old 11-01-2007, 05:48 PM
 
mama2zoe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 86
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Kathee,

Do your research, keep asking questions and TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS! It sounds like you're doing all of these things. I agree with your reluctance to have her put under general anesthesia at such a young age.

Hang in there and keep us updated.
mama2zoe is offline  
#423 of 1646 Old 11-01-2007, 07:22 PM
 
mom2PJS's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 485
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Kathee
Even if the insurance won't pay it's not all that expensive to have a routine exam at an eye Dr. I would agree with everyone else about the trusting your gut and your research. And yes I can't imagine going through that with more than one to care for. My friend just went through a 3rd surgery for torticollis with her son (her second child) and she is pregnant with twins.
mom2PJS is offline  
#424 of 1646 Old 11-07-2007, 08:45 PM
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 499
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Kathee, during this tough time! We're all keeping you in our thoughts.

Lovin' my four-pack: M, S, a different M, and sleepytime.gif me.

Coco_Hikes is offline  
#425 of 1646 Old 11-07-2007, 09:24 PM
 
mikaela's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Souderton, PA
Posts: 400
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonnenwende View Post
For those who are not having more partly out of overpopulation/environmental concerns, here is an interesting article:

Vanishing Water
GREAT article - thanks for sharing!
mikaela is offline  
#426 of 1646 Old 11-07-2007, 09:25 PM
 
mikaela's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Souderton, PA
Posts: 400
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Much love and peace to you, Kathlee <3
mikaela is offline  
#427 of 1646 Old 11-07-2007, 10:32 PM
 
devster4fun's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: The Dark Side of the Moon
Posts: 1,545
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yes...Kathee, any updates?

Wishing you the best!
devster4fun is offline  
#428 of 1646 Old 11-08-2007, 12:50 AM
 
katheek77's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 4,285
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
OK...update...

Insurance has agreed to pay for a second opinion, by someone not affiliated with the hospital she was already seen at. That appt. is on Monday. The doctor is female, and, I'm sure this sounds sexist, but I'm hoping she will take my concerns about surgery more seriously.

Today was the CT Scan. It was not fun. If I didn't know that 30% of infantile 6th nerve palsy is caused by tumors (and the majority of the rest by closed head trauma - which is not a possibility, which sort of raises the prospect of tumors causing it), I would have left somewhere around the end of the 2nd attempt to get an IV in. It was scheduled for 5pm. They kept us waiting until 6:10, when they sprung on us that the doctor had decided to do it with and without contrast, and they'd need to put an IV in for the contrast (she wouldn't drink it regardless, and it would have meant an extra hour there (3 cups, thirty minutes apart).

My poor little girl screamed so hard and so loud. I can't imagine the horror and pain and confusion. :The IV tech must have just graduated or something...it took 3 tries to even get the damn thing in. : I thought my husband was going to punch him. Seriously. Poor thing just screamed and cried...the CT scan itself wasn't so hard once we had her strapped in...I sang to her the whole time, which seemed to calm her down, or else she just gave up. She was recovering from her screaming and sobbing, and she wasn't crying anymore, just the hiccuppy gasps every once in a while.

We should get results by Friday. I really don't like this hospital (my husband is pissed that she saw the optomotrist at 11mos, who said it was "nothing to worry about", and he didn't really see anything wrong...and the same thing at 15 mos - but that was my daughter's "fault" since she wasn't "completely cooperative" during the exams. It was also her fault the IVs didn't stay in, because, even though *three* of us were holding her down (all 19.5 lbs) while he did the IV, when the other lady told him there was "infiltration" (whatever it means when the IV fluid isn't going into a vein) it was because she "flexed her hand and made it slip" ...I have to call tomorrow to find out if I'm supposed to call for results (this is what the lady running the ct scan told me) :

I should mention this is a children's hospital.

*sigh* The receptionists were nice.

Katie is now sleeping peacefully with Da-da. Mama is looking forward to the weekend and a drink...or ten. :

Thank you all for your good wishes and thoughts...I will let y'all know as soon as I have any more news...

And back to the regularly scheduled programming.....
katheek77 is offline  
#429 of 1646 Old 11-16-2007, 07:15 PM
 
Juliacat's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Left of center
Posts: 5,398
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
How is your dd, katheek?

Mommy to eyesroll.gif (age 7) and mischievous.gif (age 3)

Juliacat is offline  
#430 of 1646 Old 11-16-2007, 07:53 PM
 
devster4fun's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: The Dark Side of the Moon
Posts: 1,545
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Your post made me . I cannot imagine having to watch that. Kids are so tough, though....and better at "moving on" than us stubborn adults. Please let us know the results (if you're comfortable with that)

Wishing you the best....
devster4fun is offline  
#431 of 1646 Old 11-16-2007, 08:35 PM
 
katheek77's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 4,285
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Finally got the results today.

The CT scan came back normal, thank goodness. It was a big runaround to get the results...it seems the right people were never in the office at the same time. But, everything looks normal, and I need to find out more about this proposed surgery...if it's merely cosmetic, there's obviously no rush to do anything...if it's going to improve her field of vision, then we have to discuss when we're doing it.

Monday we went for the second opinion, which was basically the same as the first. Although this doctor did an eye exam to test her vision and look at the inside of her eyes and all that...that came out fine, so, she's not losing vision at this point.

We're just all very grateful that everything came back normal.
katheek77 is offline  
#432 of 1646 Old 11-17-2007, 12:53 AM
 
Al Dente's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: A safe place
Posts: 1,713
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Can I join? I've only read a couple of pages (limited 'puter time) but I think you all can understand me better than all my friends ttc!

I'm about to be a single mama and I'm in my mid-thirties. I think DS is going to be an only, although I never wanted it that way. I'm an only too, kind of. I have 10 siblings, all 11-25+ years older than me. So I was the only one at home. I don't particularly remember being lonely but I was obnoxious and still have a problem realizing the world doesn't revolve around me. I don't want that for my son!

Kathee..I've done phlebotomy and it can be very hard to get IV's started on children. They usually use a butterfly in the hand and start a port there. Was that what he was doing? I'm so sorry for her trauma, and the pain you must've gone through seeing her in pain. I'm glad she's not in need of surgery!
Al Dente is offline  
#433 of 1646 Old 11-17-2007, 01:50 AM
 
mom2PJS's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 485
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Al Dente View Post
Can I join? I've only read a couple of pages (limited 'puter time) but I think you all can understand me better than all my friends ttc!

5 out of 7 of the women in my playgroup are pregnant or have newborn #2... We really have nothing to talk about
Welcome
mom2PJS is offline  
#434 of 1646 Old 11-17-2007, 03:22 PM
 
devster4fun's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: The Dark Side of the Moon
Posts: 1,545
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by katheek77 View Post

We're just all very grateful that everything came back normal.
That's great news. Maybe you all can relax and enjoy the Holiday week...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Al Dente View Post
Can I join? I've only read a couple of pages (limited 'puter time) but I think you all can understand me better than all my friends ttc!
Hi there!! Welcome to our little tribe. Although, we're doing pretty well lately!

Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2PJS View Post
5 out of 7 of the women in my playgroup are pregnant or have newborn #2... We really have nothing to talk about
Welcome
Ugh. No kidding. I was telling DH about my time at a playgroup yesterday. There are about 5 pregnant women and they usually stand around talking about pregnancy, c-sections etc....It's just not something I want to constantly discuss. (I had to walk to the other side of the room)

Uh Ladies...is there anything else in life besides getting/being pregnant and birth?
devster4fun is offline  
#435 of 1646 Old 11-17-2007, 03:56 PM
 
katheek77's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 4,285
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I hear y'all on the pregnant everywhere.

We do a toddler storytime at the library and, of the 10 regulars, 3 are now pregnant, and two just had their second baby. All the firsts are within 6 months of Katie's age either way. :

The questions have started anew...I guess this is the time when I'm supposed to get knocked up and shoot out number 2...Sometimes, I just tell people that after Katie we've decided against having another, and see how they take that. Some people seem to take it as "She's so wonderful, we're complete with only her" and others seem to take it as, "She's so horrible, we're not going to even think of another". Depending on the day, either could be the truth.

My MIL is apparently (we no longer talk) very pissed off about the whole only child thing. I'm very selfish.
katheek77 is offline  
#436 of 1646 Old 11-17-2007, 04:05 PM
 
earthgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 3,644
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Warning: Emotional rambling to follow

So DD had her first birthday yesterday and I feel all weird about it. It feels really fast. Of course I'm incredibly grateful to have a happy and healthy child, but I just want to freeze some moments. It's one of the paradoxes of motherhood- wanting these things for your child that will cause such feelings of loss for yourself. Anyway, b/c she will be our only child it makes everything feel a bit sudden and sad. No more first smiles, words, crawling, etc. I'm just in this weird place b/c I know this is the right decision for our family. Our family feels complete and I really don't have a strong desire to do all of this again. But I do wish there was a way to re-live all of these wonderful experiences. And to be honest, part of me worries that one day in the future I'll be wishing for another...

Anyone else ever feel this way?
earthgirl is offline  
#437 of 1646 Old 11-17-2007, 04:08 PM
 
NYCVeg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: On my couch
Posts: 5,189
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by katheek77 View Post
I hear y'all on the pregnant everywhere.

We do a toddler storytime at the library and, of the 10 regulars, 3 are now pregnant, and two just had their second baby. All the firsts are within 6 months of Katie's age either way. :

The questions have started anew...I guess this is the time when I'm supposed to get knocked up and shoot out number 2...Sometimes, I just tell people that after Katie we've decided against having another, and see how they take that. Some people seem to take it as "She's so wonderful, we're complete with only her" and others seem to take it as, "She's so horrible, we're not going to even think of another". Depending on the day, either could be the truth.
We're in second baby land over here, too. In dd's movement class, one woman just had her second, and two more a pregnant. Another was asking me "if I've started thinking about number two yet." Actually, she seemed a little impressed that dd was an only--like it's such a shocking (yet rational!) decision. Then she was quick to add that she's going to try for 3-year spacing. Lest I think she's one of our martian race as well.
NYCVeg is offline  
#438 of 1646 Old 11-17-2007, 06:19 PM
 
devster4fun's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: The Dark Side of the Moon
Posts: 1,545
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by earthgirl View Post
Warning: Emotional rambling to follow

So DD had her first birthday yesterday and I feel all weird about it. It feels really fast. Of course I'm incredibly grateful to have a happy and healthy child, but I just want to freeze some moments. It's one of the paradoxes of motherhood- wanting these things for your child that will cause such feelings of loss for yourself. Anyway, b/c she will be our only child it makes everything feel a bit sudden and sad. No more first smiles, words, crawling, etc. I'm just in this weird place b/c I know this is the right decision for our family. Our family feels complete and I really don't have a strong desire to do all of this again. But I do wish there was a way to re-live all of these wonderful experiences. And to be honest, part of me worries that one day in the future I'll be wishing for another...

Anyone else ever feel this way?
Just about constantly!

Tiny baby clothes do it for me. And, there are moments I actually take a mental photograph. I love watching her learn something new, discover her shadow, stop to gaze a fallen leaf. She's so 100% innocent and open to the world.

*Of course then she's screams "PRETZEL" at me for the 400th time that day*

You know, choosing to have an only child doesn't HAVE to be etched in stone. If the time comes and you feel differently, you shouldn't feel bad. Life is a constant changing, fluctuating thing. You're always making decisions that you think are best for now.

DD wakes from her nap as we speak...I'm making chicken meatballs and spaghetti for dinner. YUM!
devster4fun is offline  
#439 of 1646 Old 11-18-2007, 05:40 PM
 
Juliacat's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Left of center
Posts: 5,398
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
If we were going to have a second child during society's required two-to-three-year time frame, we'd have to start pretty soon. And we're not going to. Some days I feel like saying, Take THAT, society! and other days I just feel like crawling under a chair and crying. Today was one of those latter days. I was playing peek-a-boo with my friend's five-month-old (same friend also has two-and-a-half-year-old twins : ) and just, sigh, dd is at exactly the right age now for us to be trying to have another. Just, in all sorts of ways. But we're not going to do it because it would be devastating financially, emotionally, and environmentally. But it makes me really sad on days like today.

Quote:
Some people seem to take it as "She's so wonderful, we're complete with only her" and others seem to take it as, "She's so horrible, we're not going to even think of another". Depending on the day, either could be the truth.
I totally hear you on that one.

Mommy to eyesroll.gif (age 7) and mischievous.gif (age 3)

Juliacat is offline  
#440 of 1646 Old 11-19-2007, 12:19 AM
 
Juliacat's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Left of center
Posts: 5,398
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Will somebody please explain to me why, if someone is obnoxious who happens to be an only child, everybody says it's because he or she is an only child, but if an obnoxious person has siblings, nobody cares to comment?



Signed,

An only child who isn't obnoxious

Mommy to eyesroll.gif (age 7) and mischievous.gif (age 3)

Juliacat is offline  
#441 of 1646 Old 11-19-2007, 12:27 AM
 
rambunctiouscurls's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: pacific northwest
Posts: 1,682
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yesterday, I got my very first positive response to dd being an only child. The guy (who is a father of two) said it was incredibly responsible.

Mama to a 3.5 yo dd
rambunctiouscurls is offline  
#442 of 1646 Old 11-19-2007, 01:12 AM
 
msjd123's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Los Angeles, unfortunately
Posts: 726
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mommy2Amira View Post
Yesterday, I got my very first positive response to dd being an only child. The guy (who is a father of two) said it was incredibly responsible.
That's awesome! I'm jealous. I'm sooooooo sick and tired of the awkward "Oh" when I tell someone we're just having one.
msjd123 is offline  
#443 of 1646 Old 11-19-2007, 10:55 AM
 
earthgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 3,644
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Juliacat View Post
Will somebody please explain to me why, if someone is obnoxious who happens to be an only child, everybody says it's because he or she is an only child, but if an obnoxious person has siblings, nobody cares to comment?



Signed,

An only child who isn't obnoxious
Oh, this drives me nuts! I'm a former preschool teacher and the 2 year olds teacher at the last place I worked at used to always play the only child thing when he had a kid that was acting up. It used to really anger me. I thought his argument was particularly stupid b/c a) 2 year olds aren't exactly known for being the most obedient of creatures and b) it's not unusual for a two year old to not have any siblings. It seems like quite the leap to make.
earthgirl is offline  
#444 of 1646 Old 11-19-2007, 11:08 AM
 
Al Dente's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: A safe place
Posts: 1,713
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by zoe21 View Post
My only issue is BC...we still haven't found the perfect method, because I'm paranoid of failure rates, and DH isn't since he wants more kids (did I mention that he also wants the social life of a childless couple?! go figure...).

Have you thought about an IUD?
Al Dente is offline  
#445 of 1646 Old 11-19-2007, 11:10 AM
 
Al Dente's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: A safe place
Posts: 1,713
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by earthgirl View Post
Oh, this drives me nuts! I'm a former preschool teacher and the 2 year olds teacher at the last place I worked at used to always play the only child thing when he had a kid that was acting up. It used to really anger me. I thought his argument was particularly stupid b/c a) 2 year olds aren't exactly known for being the most obedient of creatures and b) it's not unusual for a two year old to not have any siblings. It seems like quite the leap to make.

Growing up I constantly heard from my much older siblings how obnoxious I was, and everyone thought it was because I was basically an only. I'm kind of wondering what their excuses are, though!

I think this attitude will change as more and more people have onlies. I haven't done any research (so I don't really know what I'm talking about), but it seems that having one child is much more acceptable nowadays than it was, say, 100 or even 50 years ago.
Al Dente is offline  
#446 of 1646 Old 11-19-2007, 12:25 PM
 
caspian's mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: in my head
Posts: 2,165
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by earthgirl View Post
I thought his argument was particularly stupid b/c a) 2 year olds aren't exactly known for being the most obedient of creatures and b) it's not unusual for a two year old to not have any siblings. It seems like quite the leap to make.
ya think?? :
caspian's mama is offline  
#447 of 1646 Old 11-21-2007, 03:22 AM
QDB
 
QDB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Lexington, KY
Posts: 268
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi Ladies!
I am a mama to a 4.5 yo ds. I have been stressing out lately about his lack of interest in other children. He is interested in playing with the neighbor girls who are very nice but are much older. He seems to have no interest really in meeting any new kids his own age.

My grandmother comes over once a week and he sees my mother, aunt or father twice a month. These are the people he considers his friends.

He gets along peacefully enough with other kids when we are at the park and when we went back to Washington state where we used to live, he enjoyed playing with our friend's 7 yo but not so much the 4 yo kids that he used to play with as a baby.

I guess I am just wondering if he will be more interested in kids his own age when he gets older? I feel like I am worrying over nothing as he is happy and doesn't say he is bored. He doesn't ask to play with other kids, either.

He doesn't go to preschool and we are just starting to checkout what the local homeschool group has to offer.

Is this an only child thing or a temperment thing? You'd think I would know as I am an only child but...my mama bear worry is in overdrive, help!
QDB is offline  
#448 of 1646 Old 11-21-2007, 11:49 PM
 
caspian's mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: in my head
Posts: 2,165
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
he sounds pretty content. casi (also 4.5) lets us know when he misses his pals and usually it's right around when we're getting cabin fever ourselves. i still stress sometimes, but i try to remember that dp and i are both pretty introverted, so it's natural that he might not be a major social butterfly.
caspian's mama is offline  
#449 of 1646 Old 11-22-2007, 03:37 AM
QDB
 
QDB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Lexington, KY
Posts: 268
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks for the reply - ya know the neighborhood kids were off school today and all he did was play with them. He was all of a sudden king social guy.

I think he has phases of introversion and then social phases. I just seem to lose all perspective sometimes and freak out over nothing which is a charming character trait!
QDB is offline  
#450 of 1646 Old 11-22-2007, 09:18 PM
 
caspian's mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: in my head
Posts: 2,165
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
yeah, i always get recharged when i see him just walk up to an unknown kid at the park, introduce himself, and start trying to involve him/her in an activity. he's very self confident, he's just quieter about it.
caspian's mama is offline  
Reply

Tags
Child , Sibling Issues In Foster Care And Adoption A Bulletin For Professionals , Sibling Stories Reflections On Life With A Brother Or Sister On The Autism Spectrum

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off