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#961 of 1646 Old 01-10-2009, 04:04 AM
 
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Just my poor little daughter. I guess one just isn't enough. That hurt my feelings. I mean, why isn't one enough? When I answered, yeah just her, she kind of stared at me, with the deer in the headlights look in her face, like she couldn't comprehend it.
I've received rude/judgmental comments, but this is particularly galling. I'm so sorry this happened to you.

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Originally Posted by tumblingstar
Then I felt obligated to come up with some up excuses as to why I didn't want to do it again (pregnancy, babyhood, etc.). After, we talked about our various health problems in pregnancy and babyhood I felt like I just lied to her, because really I did. Those weren't the reasons I didn't want another baby.
I've had this happen to me as well. I was fertility challenged and my labor and birth were traumatic, but neither of these things would keep me from trying to have another if the urge ever hit. I've had people assume that these are my reasons, and I guess I like that it quiets the inquiries, but it's not exactly honest either. I totally hear ya, mama.

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Originally Posted by tumblingstar
But I couldn't tell her the real reasons I didn't want another baby because she was sitting there holding her real life, precious, second baby and I just couldn't do that. I couldn't tell that I didn't want another baby because I like a simple life and I don't want to stretch myself too thin.
Indeed, because you possess the grace and respect that she clearly lacks... at least in this case.

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Originally Posted by LuxPerpetua
Oh, have I been there, too! One thing that has helped when I get put into those situations is just mentioning the positive reasons why you've chosen an only without the negatives (bad pregnancy, colicky baby, etc.). I also always try and make it sound like a personal decision rather than a universal ban on all-non-only families, kwim? So the conversation tends to go like, "Yes, she's our one and only." "Do you want more?" "Honestly, no we don't. We really love being able to give her our full attention and we feel that we already have our hands full enough. We also love lots of peace and quiet and realistically we just felt like we couldn't handle more. We are very happy with our lives the way they are--it just really clicks for us as a family." People, in my case at least, have usually responded well to that. I don't know why everyone has to be so judgmental about differing parenting decisions. I find it rather bizarre.
I like this... think I might keep these words in mind! I've said something similar, but you say it so well here, and with an air of quiet confidence that surely speaks volumes.

I also find it VERY strange how easy it is for some to pass along their opinions and judgments. I find this particularly off putting when among people you don't know well. It is just NOT in my nature to make negative comments about other people's life decisions, and I'm surprised by how often and how easily this trait comes to people.

The best,
Em

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#962 of 1646 Old 01-10-2009, 04:45 AM
 
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I honestly don't think I'd be a good mom to more than one for many reasons..I honestly don't want to go through sleepless years again either..I really don't think I could handle it. So, in this case, maybe bringing a child into a relationship that doesn't welcome it with open arms is such a good thing.
DS was planned and hard fought for and yet, having him really rocked DH and I's marriage. A marriage that up to that point, we considered happy and strong. Well, it stayed strong, we coped, and got to the other side, but there were some dark moments that today, we are still amazed about... for a while there, we couldn't even recognize our marriage. I feel what you're saying here, definitely. And for me, starting over, no matter how I would find peace with it, is still a very scary prospect. I think about the fact that I was an accident, as was my brother who is 5 1/2 years older and think my Mom was a stronger person than I to deal so gracefully with it all.

And to digress a bit...

I was thinking more about my reasons for having an only, and I realized that one very important factor for me, was that I just could never wrap my mind around how having another would change my relationship with DS.

When DS was a toddler (I had a slight pg scare when he was that age), I remember thinking I was going to short change him somehow if I had another. I think it was because at the time, many of my friends were making the leap from one to two and it just seemed so hard. Not ONE of them didn't have issues with their older children during this time. I specifically remember how much they talked about how they no longer felt the same about the older child, and how they each, seemingly overnight, expected so much more from them. One friend in particular who was really upset, told me that she just plain no longer enjoyed her DC1 at all. She couldn't stand herself for how she felt. (All of these women are wonderful mothers, and were just having the usual transitions. No judgments were made by me, just observations of what the leap from one to two would mean.)

All of these women worked through this time, and have happy families BUT, at the time, I was looking at these older kids with loads of heartbreak, all the while treating my DS like he was still my babe because well, at 2, he still was. I am in awe of parents who are at ease with the idea of having more than one child. The idea just doesn't occur to me. DH and I were originally planning for two, but that was only because DH thought we should have two. Since I was a young woman, I have always pictured myself with one child only, but was open to having two. At any rate, I was pretty darned relieved when DH changed his mind. I believe it started to cement things when I finally became pregnant. We figured if we had to work that hard just to get pregnant, we'll be blessed to have this one, and call it good. After the hard, long labor (whilst DH stood sheet white in the corner of the room), and subsequent emergency c/s, the deal was all but sealed: DH says, "you know, you said one would be good. Consider me on board with that."

Funny, DH, at the end of the day, ended up being even more cheerleader for having one. He didn't have to convince me but, given my complete and total obsession for ttc for the one we've got, he was truly amazed when the baby bug never hit me again. I think DS was about 5 when he was finally convinced. I'd messed up on my chart and the chance was VERY remote for pregnancy, however, even a remote chance had me very uptight. DH said to me, "you really are sure, huh?" Oh yeah... I am. I haven't missed a day on the chart since!

Thanks for letting me talk a blue streak. I'm so glad for this thread being revived. I don't think I realized just how much I'd been thinking about all this lately. I think it may be my advancing age. Into my 40's now, I realize the time (at least for me) has truly passed. If there were an accident now, we'd find a way, but truly, it would be a scary, anxious ride.

Would love to hear your thoughts on this...

The best,
Em

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#963 of 1646 Old 01-10-2009, 08:19 AM
 
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When DS was a toddler (I had a slight pg scare when he was that age), I remember thinking I was going to short change him somehow if I had another. I think it was because at the time, many of my friends were making the leap from one to two and it just seemed so hard. Not ONE of them didn't have issues with their older children during this time. I specifically remember how much they talked about how they no longer felt the same about the older child, and how they each, seemingly overnight, expected so much more from them. One friend in particular who was really upset, told me that she just plain no longer enjoyed her DC1 at all. She couldn't stand herself for how she felt. (All of these women are wonderful mothers, and were just having the usual transitions. No judgments were made by me, just observations of what the leap from one to two would mean.)

All of these women worked through this time, and have happy families BUT, at the time, I was looking at these older kids with loads of heartbreak, all the while treating my DS like he was still my babe because well, at 2, he still was. I am in awe of parents who are at ease with the idea of having more than one child. The idea just doesn't occur to me.
<snip>
I'd messed up on my chart and the chance was VERY remote for pregnancy, however, even a remote chance had me very uptight. DH said to me, "you really are sure, huh?" Oh yeah... I am. I haven't missed a day on the chart since!
this is so me too.
if we had an accident, we'd probably find a way to make it work, and it would, but at this point, the thought terrifies me.

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#964 of 1646 Old 01-10-2009, 12:33 PM
 
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DS was planned and hard fought for and yet, having him really rocked DH and I's marriage. A marriage that up to that point, we considered happy and strong. Well, it stayed strong, we coped, and got to the other side, but there were some dark moments that today, we are still amazed about... for a while there, we couldn't even recognize our marriage. I feel what you're saying here, definitely. And for me, starting over, no matter how I would find peace with it, is still a very scary prospect. I think about the fact that I was an accident, as was my brother who is 5 1/2 years older and think my Mom was a stronger person than I to deal so gracefully with it all.

And to digress a bit...

I was thinking more about my reasons for having an only, and I realized that one very important factor for me, was that I just could never wrap my mind around how having another would change my relationship with DS.

When DS was a toddler (I had a slight pg scare when he was that age), I remember thinking I was going to short change him somehow if I had another. I think it was because at the time, many of my friends were making the leap from one to two and it just seemed so hard. Not ONE of them didn't have issues with their older children during this time. I specifically remember how much they talked about how they no longer felt the same about the older child, and how they each, seemingly overnight, expected so much more from them. One friend in particular who was really upset, told me that she just plain no longer enjoyed her DC1 at all. She couldn't stand herself for how she felt. (All of these women are wonderful mothers, and were just having the usual transitions. No judgments were made by me, just observations of what the leap from one to two would mean.)

All of these women worked through this time, and have happy families BUT, at the time, I was looking at these older kids with loads of heartbreak, all the while treating my DS like he was still my babe because well, at 2, he still was. I am in awe of parents who are at ease with the idea of having more than one child. The idea just doesn't occur to me. DH and I were originally planning for two, but that was only because DH thought we should have two. Since I was a young women, I have always pictured myself with one child only, but was open to having two. At any rate, I was pretty darned relieved when DH changed his mind. I believe it started to cement things when I finally became pregnant. We figured if we had to work that hard just to get pregnant, we'll be blessed to have this one, and call it good. After the hard, long labor (whilst DH stood sheet white in the corner of the room), and subsequent emergency c/s, the deal was all but sealed: DH says, "you know, you said one would be good. Consider me on board with that."

Funny, DH, at the end of the day, ended up being even more cheerleader for having one. He didn't have to convince me but, given my complete and total obsession for ttc for the one we've got, he was truly amazed when the baby bug never hit me again. I think DS was about 5 when he was finally convinced. I'd messed up on my chart and the chance was VERY remote for pregnancy, however, even a remote chance had me very uptight. DH said to me, "you really are sure, huh?" Oh yeah... I am. I haven't missed a day on the chart since!

Thanks for letting me talk a blue streak. I'm so glad for this thread being revived. I don't think I realized just how much I'd been thinking about all this lately. I think it may be my advancing age. Into my 40's now, I realize the time (at least for me) has truly passed. If there were an accident now, we'd find a way, but truly, it would be a scary, anxious ride.

Would love to hear your thoughts on this...

The best,
Em
I honestly could have written your post word for word. I remember those dark days of babyhood (and we're still in sleepless toddlerhood right now. Ugh). One of the biggest reasons for us to have an only is because I do not want to change my relationship with dd--that would hurt me so much and would be so difficult for us as a family.

You have such wonderful, eloquent, and poignant thoughts, Embee. I love reading your posts here.

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#965 of 1646 Old 01-10-2009, 04:06 PM
 
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his is so me too.
if we had an accident, we'd probably find a way to make it work, and it would, but at this point, the thought terrifies me.
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I honestly could have written your post word for word. I remember those dark days of babyhood (and we're still in sleepless toddlerhood right now. Ugh). One of the biggest reasons for us to have an only is because I do not want to change my relationship with dd--that would hurt me so much and would be so difficult for us as a family.
It's just so nice to be able to share these kinds of thoughts and have them validated. Thank you.

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You have such wonderful, eloquent, and poignant thoughts, Embee. I love reading your posts here.
Thank you, mama. I wrote that last one so late last night. I was tired yet having what I hoped was a moment of clarity. When I logged on this morning my stomach actually lurched because sometimes, when I look back at posts (esp. those written late at night) I think, 'sheesh, was I ever feeling philosophical on there.' Somehow this thread has felt a safe place to put myself and my feelings out there. It's been a real help connecting with all of you.

Well, I'd better go... "my only" is DEMANDING my attention. There are dinosaurs to play with afterall.

The best,
Em

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#966 of 1646 Old 01-10-2009, 05:58 PM
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Well said Embee. This is a huge reason for dh and myself as well. On a side note I can say with certainty that we wouldn't be able to give as much attention to an additional child as we have done with just ds.
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#967 of 1646 Old 01-10-2009, 07:30 PM
 
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thanks for your words embee.
my dd is now 5.5, and still demands full-time attention. perhaps if she had a sibling playmate, she would need less attention, but that's a hug gamble; likely that then the two of them would need even more work in negotiating between them, and that's only once we get through the baby stage *shudder*.
not to mention one of my biggest fears, which is even deeper committment to DP, with whom I'm married and live together, but we have seperate bedrooms and a mostly platonic relationship. (as a couple we do not much but fight).
there are just so so so SO many reasons not to have another child, and for me, at this point in my life, no compelling reasons to have one. none at all.

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#968 of 1646 Old 01-10-2009, 10:30 PM
 
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It's so nice to read most of these posts because I finally feel like other people feel the way I do about having an only. It seems like everyone here has 2 or more kids. And I'm constantly being asked when we're having the second one. I don't want another kid. I just have no desire for another baby. I see a baby, I'm like, "That's nice," but there is no longing for another. Now, puppies, on the other hand...

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#969 of 1646 Old 01-10-2009, 10:41 PM
 
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I feel like I've been lucky in this area b/c most people who know me, know we are only having one. That was our plan before DD ever arrived. I don't really get the "When are you going to have more?" question. What kills me is that people will think I'm going to change my mind or something. More than once I've told a friend a cute/loving story about DD, only to have them ask me if it makes me want more? Um, no, it just makes me really enjoy my time w/ DD.
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#970 of 1646 Old 01-10-2009, 11:20 PM
 
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Anyways, I've had my share of remarks from my sister (who has 2 kids and whose house is sheer madness) who says my kid will be weird because she won't have siblings.
This just made me laugh, because the three adult onlies with whom I'm close are phenomenally successful, well-adjusted people. All three went to Ivy League colleges. One is a doctor, one is a minister, one is a professor. You will note that all three are in fields that require significant interaction with--and, in many respects, nurturing of others. These are hardly antisocial misfits.

Besides which, a couple of MY siblings are very weird. Having me and my other sibs around didn't seem to guarantee their mental health.

Anyway, next time she brings it up, hand her one of these lists of famous onlies:
http://community.livejournal.com/the...y_1/23593.html
http://www.parents.com/baby/developm...-child/?page=6
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#971 of 1646 Old 01-11-2009, 02:00 AM
 
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sorry resubbing again

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#972 of 1646 Old 01-11-2009, 01:44 PM
 
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OK, I know none of you are going to read this and say, Well, if she had a sibling...

As you know, parenting an only can be intense sometimes. Right now is one of those times, and I would love just a little support so I don't run screaming out into the snowstorm outside!

DD just turned six. And a week after her birthday, two days before Christmas, I had major surgery - a hysterectomy for adenomyosis. So she has every reason to be behaving this way, but nevertheless - I feel like I'm suffocating right now, because she's literally on top of me every time I turn around!! I swear, it's like she's trying to climb back in.

Anyone have any thoughts on how to help both mama and child get through periods of intense need?
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#973 of 1646 Old 01-11-2009, 05:12 PM
 
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Ali. Do you have any friends who could come over and help out? I think that regardless of how many children you had, this would be an issue -- and in fact if you had more, you would probably have even more demands on you. Anyway, does she have any friends she could visit with, have a dropoff playdate with? That might help.

What's ironic about the "are you having any more" thing is that most people these days stop at two or three, whereas a hundred years ago, that would never have been considered enough for most families. A two child family in 1900 was just as strange as a one-child family.

Here are some things I sometimes say, "well, if a one-child policy is good enough for China, it's good enough for me," (followed by a laugh). Or "they broke the mold when we had ds" or "we are doing our part to reduce the world population." These might be kind of snarky, but sometimes that's how I feel. It's such a personal question, why do people think it's a safe topic, like sports or the weather? Since in our case it's not a choice, it is rather painful to be reminded that we only have one, and I think people don't always realize it. Thus the snappy replies. Usually I just shrug my shoulders and say, "it doesn't seem to be in the cards for us." That covers both physical and financial/emotional reasons.

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#974 of 1646 Old 01-11-2009, 10:55 PM
 
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OK, I know none of you are going to read this and say, Well, if she had a sibling...

As you know, parenting an only can be intense sometimes. Right now is one of those times, and I would love just a little support so I don't run screaming out into the snowstorm outside!

DD just turned six. And a week after her birthday, two days before Christmas, I had major surgery - a hysterectomy for adenomyosis. So she has every reason to be behaving this way, but nevertheless - I feel like I'm suffocating right now, because she's literally on top of me every time I turn around!! I swear, it's like she's trying to climb back in.

Anyone have any thoughts on how to help both mama and child get through periods of intense need?
first of all, I can't believe anyone would say "if only she had a sibling" in this case. it would be way more hassle, stress and work having 2 kids at this time.

and while it's a major frustration to have a clingy child (believe me, i know), it will pass.

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#975 of 1646 Old 01-12-2009, 01:52 AM
 
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DD just turned six. And a week after her birthday, two days before Christmas, I had major surgery - a hysterectomy for adenomyosis. So she has every reason to be behaving this way, but nevertheless - I feel like I'm suffocating right now, because she's literally on top of me every time I turn around!! I swear, it's like she's trying to climb back in.

Anyone have any thoughts on how to help both mama and child get through periods of intense need? [/QUOTE]

First off hugs, intense neediness, however warranted, is tough. I have actually joked with my daughter about her wanting to climb back in and she does laugh. She's almost 6.

Not that it's been incredibly successful, but we have talked about different people having differing levels of needing to be around people and that that's ok. And that sometimes mommy just needs a few minutes by herself, then we can hang out.
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#976 of 1646 Old 01-12-2009, 10:58 AM
 
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first of all, I can't believe anyone would say "if only she had a sibling" in this case. it would be way more hassle, stress and work having 2 kids at this time.

and while it's a major frustration to have a clingy child (believe me, i know), it will pass.
Believe it or not, it's already been said, more than once.

We're hanging in there... today she went back to school, and I think that will help a lot. I'm also starting to be able to do more things, so that should ease her fears and make her a little more secure... yesterday was my tipping point, but we're doing much better now.
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#977 of 1646 Old 01-12-2009, 01:22 PM
 
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I feel like I've been lucky in this area b/c most people who know me, know we are only having one. That was our plan before DD ever arrived. I don't really get the "When are you going to have more?" question. What kills me is that people will think I'm going to change my mind or something. More than once I've told a friend a cute/loving story about DD, only to have them ask me if it makes me want more? Um, no, it just makes me really enjoy my time w/ DD.
Yeah. I just see other children taking away from the experience instead of adding to it. With one, I can just focus all the attention on her.

As for changing your mind, I guess it is hard for people who really want large families to understand why you might want to stop at 1 or 2 or even decide to have none at all. "What if you change your mind?" Well, what if you don't?
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#978 of 1646 Old 01-12-2009, 01:29 PM
 
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Yeah. I just see other children taking away from the experience instead of adding to it. With one, I can just focus all the attention on her.

As for changing your mind, I guess it is hard for people who really want large families to understand why you might want to stop at 1 or 2 or even decide to have none at all. "What if you change your mind?" Well, what if you don't?
ITA! I remember having a conversation with a friend who is wanting a third... she was looking hungrily at babies, and asked if I really, truly didn't feel the urge to have another baby when I saw cute babies. Um, no. I can look and admire and think how cute - doesn't mean I want another! I know my limits - which is what I always say (with a smile!) when people make comments about another baby.
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#979 of 1646 Old 01-12-2009, 01:41 PM
 
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Hi there --

We always knew we would only have one child -- quite frankly, our marriage is not all that strong, and even though I think we are very good parents to dd, we would be absolutely lousy parents for more than one child. I had her when I was 38, and now I'm 45, so I'm pretty much past the decision-making time, anyway -- even though I did have that urge to have another one about 3-4 years ago.

What I'm wondering from all of you, though, is whether you are experiencing with your "onlies" what we are, and if so, how do you deal with it. She seems to need our constant attention when she's not in school or in other activities, even at 7 years old -- there is very little "parallel processing" going on in our house -- that is, my doing something like cooking, reading, knitting, doing chores, working on the computer, while she's doing something on her own. We always have to be doing something together. The only exception is when she is watching TV or playing with different fonts on my computer -- two activities I'd really rather limit, but sometimes they are lifesavers.

I grew up with four sisters, we were all pretty close in age, and our family had very little money, so I remember hanging with my sisters for hours and days on end while my mother worked on chores on her own. We'd be outside whenever we could, and I remember full days when we would just disappear into the woods out back, making forts, playing tag, sledding, etc. -- and all while we were all pretty young.

So now I'm thinking that this need for playing or doing with dh or myself at all times is a by-product of the fact that she is an only child. Some days I would just love to have another child so that the two of them could be companions to each other. It would certainly be easier on me! Not that I would ever have another child just for that reason....

Do other people experience this? And if so, what do you do about it?

Any guidance would be much appreciated! I expected to be "all hands on deck" for the first five years of dd's life, but didn't expect to have to be the sole entertainment when she is in first grade. I do arrange play dates, and she has activities -- ballet, piano lessons, after care at school, etc. -- I'd really rather not fill up her days with more, especially since both dh and I work full-time and it would be impossible anyway. I just wish I could help her entertain herself more....

Cheers --

Janice T.
We have noticed that with our son as well. He's still preK age, but there definitely a strong desire for him to have a constant playmate. I had thought once he goes to school that would chill things out a bit. But I've heard a lot that onlies are more peers of their parents than of kids their own age... I don't know if that's true... but my ds would rather play with us than his own friends if he had the choice. Not that he wants to be a grown up per se, just that he wants us to play on his level... although sometimes he does try to act like he's more mature that other kids his own age.

A suggestion that I have heard is that spending an hour with a child is like a whole day for them... I don't know how much I agree with that statement... But the basic idea is to ask yourself how much time is actually needed together? Could you plan 30-60 minutes solely focused on her? I know with my ds it's like filling up a gas tank... if I spend some time with him he can go for a while without absolutely being needy. However, the busier I am the more he wants me.

So I think you're right, more activities isn't it... You're irreplaceable! See if you can do something with her once a week or every other day, pick any day really... Have a mommy/daughter date and arrange a specific day to have a daddy date.

Also, is there a friend in the neighborhood? We have a neighbor girl across the street who is allowed to play whenever my ds wants to play. All he has to do is go across the street and ask.

My only other idea is to have her included with chores so that you can do them together. Can she dust while you vacuum? Can she wash dishes or help make dinner?
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Believe it or not, it's already been said, more than once.

We're hanging in there... today she went back to school, and I think that will help a lot. I'm also starting to be able to do more things, so that should ease her fears and make her a little more secure... yesterday was my tipping point, but we're doing much better now.
some people.

and glad to hear you're doing better.

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#981 of 1646 Old 01-14-2009, 07:24 PM
 
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Does anyone know of any blogs from moms of an only? All my favorite blogs all seem to have multiple children. Just curious>..

Living Simply and Enjoying Life
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#982 of 1646 Old 01-14-2009, 07:50 PM
 
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Does anyone know of any blogs from moms of an only? All my favorite blogs all seem to have multiple children. Just curious>..
Great question! Think I might search about and see what I can find... I let ya know if I come up with something.

It's been great reading this thread. I've been a bit MIA this week, but so many things for which I'd like to respond/support and commiserate... we've been spending the week readjusting DS's lizard habitat, thanks to faulty information from the the pet store. We're all in love with our little dragon, and have been fussing and doting about trying make things right! I wonder, if I had more than one child, would I be able to care (and dedicate so much time and energy to) a lizard?

The Best,
Embee

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Great question! Think I might search about and see what I can find... I let ya know if I come up with something.

It's been great reading this thread. I've been a bit MIA this week, but so many things for which I'd like to respond/support and commiserate... we've been spending the week readjusting DS's lizard habitat, thanks to faulty information from the the pet store. We're all in love with our little dragon, and have been fussing and doting about trying make things right! I wonder, if I had more than one child, would I be able to care (and dedicate so much time and energy to) a lizard?

The Best,
Embee
Ooh, that sounds fun. We love to look at lizards at our local pet store that we visit every week (and we just go to look because we don't have any pets). I definitely think life with an only can move at a relaxed, in-depth pace. It's funny how different it is from comments I read from people with multiple children. Many of them just seem so harried and tense. It makes me love my life even more.

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#984 of 1646 Old 01-14-2009, 09:11 PM
 
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Does anyone know of any blogs from moms of an only? All my favorite blogs all seem to have multiple children. Just curious>..
I'm mama to an only and I blog http://majikfaerie.blogspot.com
it's not really focussed on the "only" aspect at all, outside of this thread, having an only by choice isn't really an issue I dwell on, it's just a natural part of our lives.

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I'm mama to an only and I blog http://majikfaerie.blogspot.com
it's not really focussed on the "only" aspect at all, outside of this thread, having an only by choice isn't really an issue I dwell on, it's just a natural part of our lives.
Cool, I'll bookmark it! I just wanted to read a blog from a mom like me once in a while, kwim?
ps: I just peeked at your blog and realized you don't live around here, do ya?! that's awesome! and your blog is waaaaaaay cooler than the 'other' mom blogs i've been reading

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#986 of 1646 Old 01-14-2009, 09:29 PM
 
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I definitely think life with an only can move at a relaxed, in-depth pace.
This is VERY well put. This is exactly how I feel about our life. However, due to the obsessive nature of each of us, we can sometimes bring this to nearly a toxic level.

The best,
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#987 of 1646 Old 01-14-2009, 09:43 PM
 
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Cool, I'll bookmark it! I just wanted to read a blog from a mom like me once in a while, kwim?
ps: I just peeked at your blog and realized you don't live around here, do ya?! that's awesome! and your blog is waaaaaaay cooler than the 'other' mom blogs i've been reading

I do so live around here.

and thanks

Quote:
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This is VERY well put. This is exactly how I feel about our life. However, due to the obsessive nature of each of us, we can sometimes bring this to nearly a toxic level.

The best,
Em
that sounds like us too.

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#988 of 1646 Old 01-14-2009, 09:53 PM
 
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I do so live around here.

and thanks


that sounds like us too.
Yeah, I was just coming back here to correct my U.S.-centric thought but u beat me to it

I took one look at the birds and thought, she does not live around here and just kinda typed it, and well, you know,....anyhoooo....putting my girl to bed now...

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#989 of 1646 Old 01-14-2009, 10:06 PM
 
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Yeah, I was just coming back here to correct my U.S.-centric thought but u beat me to it

I took one look at the birds and thought, she does not live around here and just kinda typed it, and well, you know,....anyhoooo....putting my girl to bed now...
that's cool. I knew what you meant

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#990 of 1646 Old 01-15-2009, 04:13 AM
 
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We have one delicious dd. She'll be 6 in March. We got married late (I was 41) abd thought we'd skip having kids. BUT one month later I was pg! She's the best thing that's ever happened to us. If I'd known, I think I'd have done this earlier and maybe had another. As they say We are exactly where we're supposed to be. I'm now 47, so what are the odds???LOL
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