Child care? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 14 Old 06-10-2003, 03:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Mamas,
What do you do about child care? (if anything at all) I have twin 2 year old girls, and am in desperate need of a few hours alone a week to do errands, clean, lay in the sun, stare out the window, whatever! Just tend to my own needs for a little while; have the solitude to think my own thoughts...

But we have just moved to a new city and have no family around... and just a few new friends so far. (DH works long hours and gets home by the time the girls go to bed.) I tried a mother's morning out program this morning, but when I called to check in an hour after I'd dropped them off, I was told, "well, she just stopped crying a minute ago but she's okay now". WHAT? They let her cry for an HOUR? I spefically told them to call me if the girls had trouble adjusting or got really upset - doesn't this qualify?!?


Needless to say I am now put off to the whole daycare thing - not trusting that my girls will be cared for & responded to when I'm not around is not okay with me. At the same time, I really need some alone time - I know my mothering is more attentive, loving and present when my own needs are taken care of too.

I know there are some Montessori programs around but unfortunately money is an issue right now.

Any feedback/ideas?
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#2 of 14 Old 06-10-2003, 04:36 PM
 
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What about getting involved with some other moms, like at LLL or a mother of twins group, or something along those lines, and after you get to know some other moms, swapping care? My kids were never happy with anyone other than Grandma, and we live far away. It was only after getting to know a fellow mom and them being around her that they would happily stay. It did take awhile though. I wish I had more advice- but I do know how hard it is to NEED a break, and yet know no one. Good luck and try and take care of yourself!

Sahm mom to three lovely girls, and happily married to a great, sweet guy
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#3 of 14 Old 06-10-2003, 04:40 PM
 
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I too think going to LLL would be a great idea. That way you can meet other moms with similar philosophies and beliefs as you. It would be a great way to meet others too for friendship. After you get to know them, you could swap kids now and then.
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#4 of 14 Old 06-10-2003, 04:42 PM
 
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What about looking for a mother's helper/babysitter, maybe a reliable high school or college student who's looking for a little extra cash? The babysitter could come over to your house once a week or so, and play with them in one room while you do what you need or want to do. That way you're there if they need you but have some time and space for yourself as well. If things are working out and your girls are comfortable, you can then leave the house for a little while as a trial run, and see how that works. Just build up to it.

Hang in there, mama!

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#5 of 14 Old 06-10-2003, 04:43 PM
 
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I actually met another momma through MDC. She was a SAHM looking for some extra $ and I needed someone to play with my munchkin while I work in another room. It seems to be working well. Have you posted on Finding Your Tribe to see if there is anyone near you?
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#6 of 14 Old 06-10-2003, 06:04 PM
 
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Have you looked into a "Mommy's Day Out" program at a church/synagogue/ or local Y?
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#7 of 14 Old 06-10-2003, 06:54 PM
 
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i would love time to myself. i also dont know anyone or do not trust anyone.


i think is better to just AVOID leaving them with people.

personally, i think is better to just leave them with the father or not at all.

my opinion.
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#8 of 14 Old 06-10-2003, 08:31 PM
 
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Moving this to Parenting Issues!
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#9 of 14 Old 06-10-2003, 08:40 PM
 
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I agree with the college student. Just get them used to them. I work as a part time nanny for 3 year old twins. It does take kids a little while to adjust. I started going to a gym and putting my son in the onsite daycare. The first two weeks were tough, he cried and I would only work out for a half an hour, but now he just loves it there and requests to go. The girls I take care of now I watch for 10 -15 hours a week, and they request me all the time, and are normally not ready to go home when I take them. My suggestion is to try to find a person they can continue with for awhile, because they will get attached to whomever it is, and that is a good bond to keep.
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#10 of 14 Old 06-10-2003, 10:17 PM
 
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I found a mother's helper through my local synagogue - the have a "babysitter" list, kids who belong to the congregation. Also, sometimes the local high schools or colleges have programs where the kids get certified in CPR, etc. and are "trained" in how to deal with young children.
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#11 of 14 Old 06-11-2003, 03:12 AM
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When I was 8 or 9, I would go and "babysit" the toddler next door while his mother cleaned or napped or just took some time to herself. It was great for both of us - this was the mid seventies and she nursed both of her boys to 4 or 5, and I based a lor of my parenting ideas on things I'd seen her do. She paid my about half the going rate for a teenage sitter, which was a lot to me!

Rain would love to find a job like that... maybe get in touch with a local homeschool group?

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#12 of 14 Old 06-12-2003, 11:44 AM - Thread Starter
 
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thank you everyone for your responses.

I like the idea of a mother's helper coming over to the house - they could play in the yard or whatever, but at least the babies would be in a familiar place.

I appreciate your feedback, thanks again
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#13 of 14 Old 06-12-2003, 12:56 PM
 
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Because I am a full time teacher, my son has been in child care since a really young age (I have no regrets at all about this- he's received wonderful, loving care!). His home daycare accepts "drop-ins" for $8.00 an hour. I love the accountability of an arrangement in which there is more than 1 adult present to care for the kids, and our care providers are 2, sometimes 3, women. IMO this is much better than a nanny/babysitter. You may want to see if anyone in your neighborhood provides at-home care and would allow your children to drop in a few hours each week.
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#14 of 14 Old 06-12-2003, 01:13 PM
 
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A mother's helper/babysitter worked well for us. Especially with school being out there should be no problem finding one, you would just have to dig deep to find the right one. I had two teeneage girls come over together(they were friends and agreed to split the money) at least once a week. Sometimes after school for me to run errands or whatever and sometimes on the weekend do hubby and i could have some alone time. It really was a sanity saver, I miss them sinced we moved. Since there was two of them and I had only two children at the time everyone got attention. My son and daughter warmed up to them very quickly since they were already in the comfort of their own hoem it made it easier IMO.
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