don't want to be SAHM today - Mothering Forums

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Old 06-12-2003, 12:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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don't want to clean, don't want to live with this clutter

don't want to cook food, prepare sippy cups, referee fights

don't want to go to the bathroom with an audience

don't want to find toys that are lost

don't want to deal with 5 year old tantrums

don't want to be bored and lonely and alone

don't want to be me today.

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Old 06-12-2003, 12:24 PM
 
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((((((((((Mammacrab))))))))))))

Spend the day outside. Don't clean...try to get away with doing as *little* as possible.

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Old 06-12-2003, 12:30 PM
 
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Thank you so much for your post and honesty! I have been feeling the same way and have been so depressed about it. Right now the kids are in front of the tv and I got away to check the mothering boards! Y'all are my only link to the outside world on some days!

Gosh, this job sucks sometimes...but I still would not trade it for the world. I guess?!!!!

I have a one year old (almost 2) and a 5 year old (my niece) also! Both ages drive me crazy and the combination is not fun!

Anyway, thanks for helping me feel not so alone in my depression!

Susan
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Old 06-12-2003, 12:34 PM
 
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Well, count me in on the whole list, except that I'm dealing with 14 month old tantrums, and 13 year old tantrusm, and 15 year old tantrums.

I have been having a heck of a time lately getting morivated at all. Today it is pouring rain, which is not helping my mood any.

Every night I think about how I am sick of living in a stye, and what I'm going to do about it. And every morning I get up, look around, and think, "yuck" and sit down at the computer.

Not much help, but lots of sympathy.

Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible---St. Francis of Assisi
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Old 06-12-2003, 12:38 PM
 
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add me too. I have been feeling like this alot lately. But we just did a major move 2 months ago, 600 miles from family. And now we are down to one car, so I am stuck home all day every day. There are no sidewalks here so even with the library at the corner, I have to cross 4 lanes of fast traffic to get there and there is no crosswalk or lights to help you. So, I am stuck. my oldest 2 are outside playing and the baby is in here with me. I don't really know anyone here yet, I did start my own yahoo AP group to try and find some people out here like me, it is coming along slowly, but with one car, I can't make any playdates
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Old 06-12-2003, 12:52 PM
 
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I hear you, sistas!

I feel like that so often lately - resentful of the life I dreamed of for so long (just staying home to raise my babies). I have twin 2 year olds, so it seems like I am always breaking up fights, tantrums, etc.

The problem? We are NOT meant to mother alone! It is not natural to be sequestered away in our little isolated dwellings, with no other maternal support in the household. Women in the past always had other women around to help them - grandmas, aunts, other mothers in the tribe, whatever. Doing it alone is not natural!

We really need to give ourselves a break and realize what incredibly exhausting, challenging, FULL TIME work this really is.

Give yourself a gift on days like this, however small. Sometimes taking the whole show outside helps - feeding them out there, bring a book, let them run around.

It is so hard... but this too shall pass
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Old 06-12-2003, 01:46 PM
 
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I'm a bit like mothersong, i have a 5yr old pitching a fit, a 13yr old being a sh*t, and my almost 16yr old being a bit snotty.

I have to big grocery shop, pay bills, and do my uniforms for work tonight. i have to make dinner, and i promised the kids we would go swimming. on top of all that i have sinkload after sinkload of dishes to do because the kids are home from school. On top of all that, i will get little sleep, because i have to work tonight after being up all day.

I know i should be thankful and grateful, but it can be real hard to always see the glass as half full!

do you all want to run away with me?
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Old 06-12-2003, 01:58 PM
 
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Ditto. My mom went back to work full time about 6 months ago, and it has been so hard not having her to hang out with me a couple days a week.

On top of everything you mentioned, my back is killing me, and ds doesn't understand yet about not picking him up. The weather is crappy and foggy and cold, and if we go to the playground, all he wants to do is go down the big slide or play basketball, both of which involve me bending and twisting, which I just can't do right this moment!

I'm so tired of having to "sell" everything - a mom on here once mentioned being tired of the constant PR campaign - eating, cleaning, showering, getting in the stroller, etc. That's how I feel.
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Old 06-12-2003, 02:02 PM
 
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Quote:
The problem? We are NOT meant to mother alone! It is not natural to be sequestered away in our little isolated dwellings, with no other maternal support in the household. Women in the past always had other women around to help them - grandmas, aunts, other mothers in the tribe, whatever. Doing it alone is not natural!
For sure, makes a BIG difference!!!

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Old 06-12-2003, 02:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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thank you, everyone, for all your sympathy and support.

we're all eating popsicles right now

thanks for helping me not feel so alone.

I know I'm lucky, but being a mom is hard today

thanks again mamas.

I agree, we are NOT meant to do this alone...I've been rereading the Red Tent and it makes me wish...I don't know what I wish...kids are demanding attention right now so my thoughts are scattered (that is my dd as I try to collect my thoughts) LOL
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Old 06-12-2003, 07:02 PM
 
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It is soo hard, and my kids are 5 and 10! I am just having one of those days where I am over it!!! It doesn't help that my best friend is moving away and I will be even more isolated!
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Old 06-12-2003, 09:58 PM
 
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Can I pull up a seat here too?

I so know where everyone is coming from and feel so alone some days I literally feel like I am going crazy in the head.
I too am thankful for these boards and my pc.....lol...sad but true....don't laugh!

I am running out of motivation to "play" all day.
I have few to none "ap" mamma friends and live in a very small town.


I wish I did not have to do this alone but, my extended family does not accept our parenting choices and so that makes it a little hard to go visit people who do not *like* us extended nursing and seeing things through our child's eyes...lol...
So all I have is my mom and she works full time....
Dh works afternoons so I am all alone with ds everyday.
I was just thinking today maybe I need to go get a p/t job......

hhmmmm......

Rainy blah weather here too...

Free To Be~
Traci
"Living is learning and when kids are living fully and energetically and happily they are learning a lot, even if we don't always know what it is."
~John Holt 

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Old 06-13-2003, 09:54 PM
 
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I haven't 'fessed up to dh yet, but my dream vacation is that he and the kids go somewhere for a week -- without me. Just leave me home so I can clean house without any interruptions, work on decluttering without anyone pulling things out of my boxes, etc. -- and then enjoy it staying clean and decluttered for a few days while I read a trash novel and eat bon-bons.

(What are bon-bons anyway?!)
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Old 06-13-2003, 10:09 PM
 
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You mean I am not the only one feeling this way? What a relief!! I was about to nominate myself for worst, most unmotivated mom of the year award. Ugh!! I think part of it has been the weather. Snow all winter and rain all spring. I have begun to think that I need to get a job outside the home because anyone would be better than me for my dd. I am crossing my fingers that it is just a phase for me because I know better than that (I think).

By the way, she's 2.5 and very good at it. We had to leave playgroup today because she was stealing, hording and hitting. Typical for the age, but exhausting! We left so that I could keep myself under control!

That's the end of my pity party. Sun all next week! I hope it helps!

BTW, thanks for starting this post!
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Old 06-13-2003, 10:51 PM
 
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<<<<<<mamacrab!>>>>>>>>>>>>

I hear you LOUD and CLEAR today! I only have one son currently (16 mo) and I have been at the end of my rope. What the HECK am I gonna do when we have another????

And I TOTALLY agree with babyloveX2. We were not meant to do this alone. I am saying this all the time. We were not meant to parent in isolation. It isn't good for us and it's not great for the kids.

We need communities. And unfortunately, I have not found mine yet either. hang in there mamacrab!
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