BAD BAD Mommy moments - Mothering Forums

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Old 06-12-2003, 01:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I just need to commiserate about a miserable, miserable 24 hours.
I don't know WHAT was going on with ds.. I think teething pain. But anyway, he was sooo clingly I could not put him down for 2 seconds without him losing it and bursting into screaming tears. He wouldn't go to DH.. he didn't want to play.. nothing would make him happy.

He would only nap at the breast.. the second I tried to de-latch him he'd wake up and scream. I couldn't sleep myself, so I just lay in bed while he nursed and nursed and nursed.

The whole day was awful.. and then came the night.

He would not sleep. And I had to be at the office the next day.. I tried rocking him, singing, nursing.. NOTHING.

So finally at 2am, DH tried to sling him so I could get 31/2 hours of sleep.. and he FELL OUT OF THE SLING! Twisted himself out, thankfully while DS was putting him on the floor, so he didn't fall far.. but I woke to the sound of agonized screaming. I calmed him down.. but he was sooo exhausted, staggering around the room. He could not even really walk. He fell and banged his head. I just sat and cried.

I felt like the most unfit parent ever. Finally he fell asleep at 430.. and I had to get up at 530 for work.

When I get home today.. DH has to go to work and he'll be gone all night and I don't know HOW I am going to survive.

I feel like the worst parent ever.
I don't know how to be one of those never-need-sleep mommies.
I don't know how to do this.

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Old 06-12-2003, 02:51 PM
 
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oh my. that sounds like hell. if i didn't have a class for us at 9 am tomorrow, i'd offer to come up and sit with you.
you're not unfit, it was just a bad night.
you'll survive tonight, because you HAVE to -- know what i mean? it's not going to be a cakewalk, but you guys will manage.
will he accept any kind of teething relief? during our particularly painful teething episodes, i forced her to accept some numbing agents. i put it on her toothbrush and then laid her across my lap and brushed her gums. she cried, but i felt like i had to do it or those teeth would kill both of us.
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Old 06-12-2003, 03:47 PM
 
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Asherah, I am soooo there with you today!!

I had a similar, albeit not quite as bad, night with dd. Barely got any sleep b/c dd was waking what felt like every 1/ 2hour. Crying, fussing, squirming......Finally, she wanted to get up for the day at 6:30 and I was exhausted so I told dh to just take her out of the room for an hour. He was angry since he's sleep deprived too and dd was hysterical! screamed and screamed and I finally gave in and went to get her and go back to bed. I felt so horrible. I just wanted to tune her out but she was so hysterical,but I couldn't do it. I couldn't just keep lying there with her once she was ready to get up, so I took her to the living room (while dh got to sleep ) and I did what I HATE doing......put on a Baby Einstein dvd and put it on repeat play! I just needed some sleep! Mind you, I did not change her, feed her or anything else. I absolutely hate when it gets that bad. But, she watched t,v for a while, got a hold of my wallet and then proceeded to take everything out. I didn't care. All I cared was that she wouldn't hurt herself and that I could sleep. As soon as dh woke up, I just told him "The baby needs to be changed, fed and dressed, I'm leaving for work!" Then, I just took a shower and left. I, who am constantly late for work because I can't bear to leave dd, couldn't wait to get on a dirty public transit train, drink my coffee and REST! Needless to say, I now feel Unfit! I have broken every single cardinal rule I have for myself, down to referring to my dd as "baby." My only consolation is that she is in the hands of a loving caregiver who will interact with her until her mama can get a grip on herself!

I didn't mean to hijack your thread. I just want you to know that you are not alone! I'm sure there are other frustrated and tired mamas out there just like us who understand and have BTDT. Today is just our turn, I guess. : :

I hope that tonight goes better for you. Maybe you can try to get ds into the bath and to bed early, so you can have some alone time. Me, I'm definitely going to make sure dd has something for her teething (which is the huge culprit). Good luck to you and happy sleeping!!
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Old 06-12-2003, 04:02 PM
 
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Asherah, you're not a bad mommy! The day and night sucked, I'll grant you that. I'm sorry you had to suffer, but from the sounds of it you are an awsome mommy! You didn't scream or throw anything, just cried. And who wouldn't? I hope things go smoother for you, but please don't think you're an unfit parent. *hugs*

~Melissa
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Old 06-12-2003, 04:33 PM
 
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wow!! that sounds hard. i have been there several times and it is exhausting your child probably just needed you, but really, don't you wish guys had boobs sometimes? best wishes for a restful night for your ENTIRE household
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Old 06-12-2003, 04:42 PM
 
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I'm so with you, only my DD has just been diagnosed with an ear infection. We've had some rough nights, a baby who is literally glued to me, and lots of tears. But I don't have to go to work and my heart aches for you!! I thought we were going through teething, too, but this morning after a feverish night she was very congested and obviously worsening so we went to the doc and she's got it in both ears!! My poor baby. I so know what you are going through!

You are NOT, NOT, NOT a bad mommy!!!!!

teapot2.GIF Homeschooling, Homesteading Mama to DD ('02) and DS ('04)  ribbonjigsaw.gif blogging.jpg homeschool.gif

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Old 06-12-2003, 04:53 PM
 
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Sorry, I had to skim through your post. Ouch-been there. Those days/nights when your sanity really is in question and you want to simply get in the car and run far far away.
But, then it passes. I figure it's kind of like labor. You forget how painful those experiences are after awhile.


And, really, if y ou're about to lose it, a little chamomile or tylenol once in awhile won't change his future.

Hang in there!
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Old 06-13-2003, 05:01 AM
 
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Oh wow, I'm sorry. Reading your post reminded me of so many awful sleepless nights when ds was that age.

I guess the only advice I have is to "let yourself let it go" if you can. Breath deep, drink lots of water, and keep the lights dim and lay down/close your eyes when you can. Stress and sleep deprivation are a vicious cycle. If you can focus on staying calm, the lack of sleep won't be as crippling as it is when you are up all night cryingfrustrated too.

You certainly aren't a bad mother! You will get through it, like others said, because you gotta. Just keep breathing deep.

Mother is the word for God on the hearts and lips of all little children--William Makepeace Thackeray
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Old 06-13-2003, 09:41 AM
 
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I will be sending positive thoughts your way for a decent few hours rest at least.

DD has boycotted sleep now for about a month...for a variety of reasons. But to add a little comic relief, I woke up to dd making her feed me sounds from a dream where in fact my dh was breastfeeding her!

Can you say wishful thinking - even in my dreams!
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Old 06-13-2003, 10:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks, everyone.

Last night was much better. DH was able to get off work, so we all went out for a long walk and to dinner together.. DS was in a much better mood.. came home after dinner and he slept really well... woke maybe twice to nurse, which is fine.

I feel soooo much better.
It was like DS knew how I felt.. he was sooo sweet last night!
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Old 06-13-2003, 10:39 AM
 
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isn't it nice when your child "comes back" to their normal self?
glad you had a good evening!
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