Asherah, I am soooo there with you today!!
I had a similar, albeit not quite as bad, night with dd. Barely got any sleep b/c dd was waking what felt like every 1/ 2hour. Crying, fussing, squirming......Finally, she wanted to get up for the day at 6:30 and I was exhausted so I told dh to just take her out of the room for an hour. He was angry since he's sleep deprived too and dd was hysterical!
screamed and screamed and I finally gave in and went to get her and go back to bed. I felt so horrible. I just wanted to tune her out but she was so hysterical,but I couldn't do it. I couldn't just keep lying there with her once she was ready to get up, so I took her to the living room (while dh got to sleep
) and I did what I HATE doing......put on a Baby Einstein dvd and put it on repeat play!
I just needed some sleep! Mind you, I did not change her, feed her or anything else. I absolutely hate when it gets that bad. But, she watched t,v for a while, got a hold of my wallet and then proceeded to take everything out. I didn't care. All I cared was that she wouldn't hurt herself and that I could sleep. As soon as dh woke up, I just told him "The baby needs to be changed, fed and dressed, I'm leaving for work!" Then, I just took a shower and left.
I, who am constantly late for work because I can't bear to leave dd, couldn't wait to get on a dirty public transit train, drink my coffee and REST! Needless to say, I now feel Unfit! I have broken every single cardinal rule I have for myself, down to referring to my dd as "baby." My only consolation is that she is in the hands of a loving caregiver who will interact with her until her mama can get a grip on herself!
I didn't mean to hijack your thread. I just want you to know that you are not alone! I'm sure there are other frustrated and tired mamas out there just like us who understand and have BTDT. Today is just our turn, I guess.
I hope that tonight goes better for you. Maybe you can try to get ds into the bath and to bed early, so you can have some alone time. Me, I'm definitely going to make sure dd has something for her teething (which is the huge culprit). Good luck to you and happy sleeping!!