Which is more than my folks could do for me! And so I have not finished my degree-- by the time I was finished earning my college money through Uncle Sam, I was pregnant.
DH's parents DID pay for his college. And so he does have a B.A, and makes more money than I could. It has far-reaching repercussions, eh?
I think it makes him sad and worried that we probably won't be able to do that for our kids, unless we really buckle down. He talks about reducing our retirement savings to make up the difference, but I think that is very, very unwise.
I'd rather the kids scramble, take on massive debt, get second jobs, sell themselve to Uncle Sam, etc, for their own self-improvement than for them to get stuck doing the same stuff to keep us afloat in our old age.
At least I think they will resent the former less than the latter.
We have been paying off a moutain ($30K+) of DH's loans for almost 10 years to the tune of $400+ a month. His parents absolutely could not help him so it was all done on loans.
I don't want my kids to have to do that. We'll look so what scholarships we can get, of course, but would like to do as few loans as possible.
I didn't pay for school-and took it for granted. Dh put himself through school on scholarships and working for his expenses-and it was no fun for him. Seems like we'd like to strike a balance-not having them feel overwhelmed with pressure, yet teaching them to respect what we're doing.
. But I don't see why my kids can't afford to pay their own way through college if they have no rent, utilities, or groceries to buy. I would think they would be able to maintain some sort of job while going to school. There are also loans and scholorships out there.
I think I'd encourage my kids to work for a year or two before entering undergrad, though. I appreciated grad school so much more than undergrad.... and part of it had to do with living on my own, supporting myself, etc. I also think they might have more direction as to what they want to study... or at least what they don't want to do in life.
Mom to DS(8), DS(6), DD(4), and DS(1). "Kids do as well as they can."
If I had the means, I would definitely pay their tuition so they'd enter the workforce without huge student loans to pay back.
Ruth, single mommy to 3 quasi-adults
OTOH, dh and I both put ourselves through school with no help, scholarships, grants, or anything. We both did have loans and graduated with a combined $50K in the hole. We resolved to continue to live like college students until the debt was paid off. With both of us working full time and continuing our modest lifestyle, we had all of it paid off within 2.5 years. And that was while living in one of the most expensive areas in the U.S. We literally sent in 2/3 of our income each month forgoing cable, eating out, and new clothing. I do think it is quite possible and not too crippling to learn that lesson early on. Many of our friends and fellow grads felt compelled to blow money on brand new cars, clothes, new houses, etc......and to this day still complain about their loans. I also feel that we valued our educational opportunities far more than we would have had it been handed to us by our parents.
I think most colleges are much more expensive now than they used to be. I went to the same college that my parents went to, and while they could work through the summer to make the money to pay for the next year, there is no way I could have made that kind of money. I couldn't have paid for one year working ALL the summers.
We do not believe in the necessity of entering college immediately after HS, either, though. I entered college at the age of 16 and now at 30 still don't have a Bachelor's to show for it (I paid off my last student loan last year). I decided to stop wasting my money until I could figure out what I truly wanted to do with my education. DH entered college immediately after his stint in the army, he's several years older than me and also does not have a degree (we're still paying on his loans). At this point in our lives, if we get degrees it is because we want them, we've worked for them and have achieved it. Not because we've BS'd our way through 4 years of classes on mommy and daddy's mealticket, and now have a piece of paper that means nothing, and no idea of how the world actually works. I've seen too many people fall into that trap.
Life requires work. I believe in teaching our children that. It may seem harsh to some, but it's reality.
Cristeen ~ Always remembering our warrior ~ Our is 3, how'd that happen?!?!
We welcomed another warrior in May 2012!!
2012 Decluttering challenge - 575/2012
I didn't get help from my parents (it just wasn't possible). My DH had his college paid by his parents. I would prefer my kids have my DH's experience as opposed to my own.
Anything beyond that she pays for herself.
If she gets a scholarship, we'll give her the money we planned for her tuition to her upon graduation as a gift.
If she gets free/reduced tuition b/c of my husband's status (he's got a Purple Heart, which, at this point, qualifies her for free/reduced tuition in some states if we're residents), we will again give her the money upon graduation.
If she decides to not go to college. Mom and Dad will be cashing in the 529, taking the penalty, and going on a very nice vacation.
Why pay? I believe deeply in higher education, and I don't think cost should be a barrier, nor do I think she should have to spend 10 years + paying off her loan...life's hard enough, and I don't think she should be penalized for wanting to educate herself. I think you can get a very good education at a public college (I did), and I don't think "private" schools are all they're jacked up to be, so, I'm not willing to spring for 40,000+/yr, but I'm more than willing to provide adequate funds for a state-run institution.
Yes. We are paying for their college. I cannot imagine being 18 and having thousands of dollars in debt already, its way too hard. Their end of the bargain is having a part time job to pay for "fun" extra stuff and getting at least a 3.2 GPA.
My parents agreed to pay for one year of college for me. (They could have afforded to pay for more; I was the only one out of 4 who attended college and my parents had plenty of money.) When my one year was up, I got married and got a full time job. I've worked full time every day of my life since then.
I want my daughter to have better. I want her to have time to think only about herself; time to learn about the world and about herself without any other worries. I wish parents had done as much for me.
if dd wants to go she's going to have to foot the bill herself. if she asks for financial help we wont flat out refuse, but she's going to have to have a good reason/set of goals, and not just want to go because it's what her peers are doing, and it's 'expected'.
Why do we keep it? I never finished college due to working full time and having no parental support. My husband also couldn't afford trade school and so we are both on the lower end of the payscale and too damn smart for that! I want to be able to help dd more.
Dear hubby , dd1 (8) ds1 (5) and dd2 (NB)
It would be nice to be able to pay for them to go wherever, but we wouldn't be able to do that and fund our own retirements. I'm limiting it to four years because I want them to focus on a program of study and complete it. I work at a university and see too many kids who don't and end up taking at least a full extra year to finish. If they want to do that, it's on their dime.
Our parents paid for dp and I to go to college. It was the best gift they could have given us. I wouldn't have had children if I though we couldn't afford to do this for them. It is too important to me.
My parents paid for mine and I am eternally grateful. DH had scholarships and fellowships. We are so much better off than almost all of our friends who are drowning in student loan debt.
I am hoping that one of us gets a faculty position at a university that offers our children free tuition. That would be wonderful. I really don't want my kids to be drowning in debt. I also want them to pick majors that they love, rather than studying what makes money. Careers are important, but I feel strongly that college is about much more than getting a job.
If we did not pay for college our income would count against her for financial aid. I had a boyfriend in college whose financial aid got reduced to zero because his mom got married. They counted his stepfather's income against him even though they never gave him a dime. I would not do that to her!
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