When I found out I was pregnant, my dh and bought our first home. It's turned out to be a mixed blessing. I love owning our home, but it's incredibly expensive -- more than double the rent at our last apartment. A few months after we bought our house, my dh was laid off and has only worked occasionally since then. We often talk about selling our house as a way of cutting back on expenses. But I really enjoy having our home, and dd loves running in the back yard, playing in her sandbox, and going down her slide. I'd hate to take all that away from her. I always thought that if you were going to have kids, you should be able to afford to have a house to raise them in. How important is it to have a house to raise children in? Where are other people living?
The idea that you need a house to raise kids in is a very North American concept. In the cities of Europe and Asia, virtually everybody lives in apartments, often with extended family.
I do think real estate can be a good investment, but it is not for everybody. If you move around alot, or if you can get very cheap rent in a place you like, you can earn a good return on putting your money elsewhere.
If your mortgage is eating up too much of your income, you can always rent out your house and rent a place for yourselves with a cheaper monthly amount. That way you are keeping the investment of your house, but have extra money each month for spending. For the first few years of your life, your kids won't remember where you lived anyways, so there's no rush.
We've been moving around alot and finally bought a place, a 2 bdrm + den, 1500 sq ft, condo in a high rise. Urban neighbourhood. We can walk to everything, we don't like big, and we don't like the maintenance involved in a house, so condo living is perfect for us. Still, it won't be ready for two years; and that's fine b/c DD won't remember the time before then anyways.
My point is: no, kids don't *need* a house to grow up in. But a "home"...yeah, that's important!
We have a house in a small town but want to raise our kids out in the country. We couldnt afford our own place so we moved to my parents place (70 acres) and live in trailer till our house sells or rents.
We considered moving back to town because living with relatives can be
. But the things keeping us here are our girls and the animals LOVE being able to have all this room to play, we dont want to license all our animals again, we bought a second car that we dont need if living in town, all of that to say we are sticking it out living with family.
I feel that having a place for kids to play is very important, couldnt imagine living in apartment with wee ones.
We recently built a house, but I have been an apartment dweller for most of my adult life. I like living in an apartment (preferably one in a brownstone in Brooklyn right off Prospect Park.
) But having a house is nice for children, I'll admit. A big part of me still feels a little "bourgie" (what a friend of mine and I call bourgeois.)
I like living a little edgier.
I am in portland too and I know many families who have had a parent laid off. It's not a good time. I hope you all find a solution soon and don't have to sell your home !
We just purchased our first house and are moving out of our Condo. We planned on staying in the condo for a while but realized that the expense of living in a condo was far greater than the expense of buying a home outside of the city. I didn't think that I would want a yard and all the responsibilities of a house, but now I am really looking forward to it. I want dd to have a yard to play in and nice parks to walk her too. Also, I think a sense of community, with neighbors, would be good for her too. YOu just don't have that in the city, IMO. OUr condo is a pretty decent size for in the city, but it doesn't compare to the space we will have in our new home (even though the home is considered kind of small in light of the other homes). That being said, however, I truly think that home is where you make it....whether it is with relatives, in an apt, condo, city, country, etc.
I always thought that if you were going to have kids, you should be able to afford to have a house to raise them in. How important is it to have a house to raise children in? Where are other people living?
That's like saying lower income families shouldn't have children.
I live in an apartment building and most of the people in this building have 1 or more children.
We are located by a wonderful park and a river... several playgrounds.
Right now I live in a small house with my two sons, mom, two sisters and one brother in law, two rabbits, three cats, and three goldfish.
I think, like Piglet said, the important thing is to have a home. Whether or not you own it doesn't really make a difference to me.
I think that kids would be happy living in a shack as long as they are loved, fed, taken care of and have a sense of family around them. Sometimes the smallest places can be the coziest -eh?
sorry your dh got laid off, that really bites. Is there anyway you could get a roomate or something to make the house payments a little easier?
We just now bought a home and are moving in in two weeks!!! I agree that it is really not necessary to own a house, you can be a family and have a home in an apartment or condo too. It will cost us more to buy than it will to rent but we will have a tax advantage and hopefully build some equity. I just felt a real need to put down roots after being a military family on the move for the past 7 years. I want my ds to know his neighbors and the kids he will go to school with. In military housing the families move every 2-3 years or less and I feel as if it is somewhat unsettling to my ds (and myself). Just about the time you know people, they move and you have a whole new batch of neighbors. I am looking forward to painting and decorating the way I want it to be, growing a garden, and making a treehouse for my ds. I guess it is the American Dream to own your own home. I think you have more security in owning, as long as you make your payments no one can tell you you have to move or stop leaving your kids' bike out in the yard.
I don't think that what you can afford should determine whether you have children. Plenty of people who can afford TONS of stuff for their kids are awful parents, and plenty of parents who can barely afford food are wonderful ones.
We are pretty poor. We rent a one-bedroom apartment (yes, two kids, two adults, one bedroom). We are often asked how on earth we fit everyone in there - but fact of the matter is, we have a family bed anyway so the only real sacrifice we make is that the kids' dresser is in the bedroom. And how much indoor space do you need, anyway? We have a patio that the kids love to play on, and are 50 yards from a school with playgrounds and fields, so the kids are totally not suffering from lack of space.
And when it comes down to it, we could if we wanted to work out financing and "buy" our "own" house (even though with that much financing, it is totally not right to think of it as yours, I think). But we are waiting until we have enough income to support a house we want, instead of one that we can now afford. So aside from finances, this is also a personal choice of ours not to settle for what we could get now.
We also rent an apt. And also get those "how do you fit?" comments (we have a 2 bedroom and 3 kids, my older 2 have bunk beds and share a room and we have the baby in with us).
We just live in an area where homes are outrageous. The town I grew up in, 2 towns away, has a median home price of $890,000. Uh, not in our budget
I think people also forget that 50 years ago, it was common for siblings/families to share a bedroom and there's nothing wrong with that. I was talking with a co-worker who said that she used to have a smaller home and her 4 daughters each doubled up into 2 bedrooms (2 girls to a room) and then they bought a larger home with a room for each but they still shared a room, by choice. She said that they often have sleep overs and all share the same room.
We use to own a home and loved it dearly. We got laid off for too long and lost it to creditors. We now rent a home and rental property is outrageous in Florida. We can buy a new house at the end of the year but I don't think we will here. Too small for what we paid for in the midwest.
we live in a mobile home(doublewide).. we bought it new when my son was a tiny baby..before then we lived in a townhouse
we wanted to live in the country & bought 4 acreas of land & couldnt afford to build a nice house
so we put a mobile home here & put it farther back on the land then where we'd want our house.. we plan to build a house in 5 more years..it will be built in front of where we live now..
my son will be 10 & hes disabled & wont know any different.. my daughter 7.. & I dunno if we will have any more kids..
but she will be able to witness it being built & its not like we'd be going far anyways..lol
we live in an apartment. we might be able to afford a house if i worked, but we decided it was better to give the kids the _experiences_ they deserve than stuffing them into daycare so we could buy them _things_. i am an at-home mom. money's tight sometimes, and i'm actually thinking of starting a home business to bring in a little more, but i think it's worth it. we're so near the co-op, playgrounds, and the children's museum.
we are thinking about getting a larger place, maybe a house, within the next year or 2, if we can afford it. it'd be nice to have the extra space, dd will need her own room, and ds wants a back yard. i want a porch to sit on and an attic to store stuff in. but for now, we're ok where we are.
WE own our home...of course we live in So CA and owning a home here is $$$ tough but rent is just a waste seeing as how you can pay less in mortgage payments for a home than paying to rent one. Dh is an Ocean Lifeguard so our choices of moving are slim. He's got 19yrs with the city and thinking of retirement benifits makes us stay.
We're renting a house but hope to build/buy in a couple years. DH owns a small computer business, so any extra money has gone into that up until recently.
I wouldn't mind renting for longer, but our current landlord has left a very bad taste in my mouth for renting.
My DH, 2 sons, and I rented a tiny, old house for about 8 yrs. Personally, I hated being so cramped and "throwing our money away" in rent every month and having to deal with a landlord right next door which made me feel like everything we did was being watched (This probably sounds paranoid, but it's not - they were retired and always puttering around BOTH houses and yards - we had no privacy). But the town was very nice, we had lots of friends, and there was lots to do close by. 3 yrs ago, I finally talked DH into buying a home that's a little more roomy with a nice yard in a really small town. We all love it here and I feel like it's a wiser financial choice, too, since we'll be building equity. At first the kids missed their old neighborhood, but they soon adjusted and now they say they love it here even more. Now we have a garden and have the freedom to do whatever we like to the house. I think it was the best choice for us.
We live in a lovely 3 bedroom house that we rent. With housing prices the way they are in Ca we are considering a move to some other place so we can buy a house with a yard.
I voted a home we own, but actually should have said that the bank owns it. We rented for a long time, and I have really good memories of our apartment. Life was so much simpler then.
One big advantage to our buying this house is that I get to indulge my gardening obsession. Actually, its a ministry, I can give away beautiful bouquets all summer. While that may be possible with a rental, it would be harder to justify to expense of permanent plantings and such.
Good luck to all of you in finding a happy housing situation for your family to grow and thrive in!
I always thought that if you were going to have kids, you should be able to afford to have a house to raise them in.
Have you changed your mind?
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