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Attachment to "security objects" - do AP kids use them?

3K views 33 replies 34 participants last post by  KimberMama 
#1 ·
I'm interested as my 17 mo old is not attached to any object in that manner other than her mama. Some of my friends babies have a favorite teddy or binky etc. I have noticed these children are seperated from their mom during the day or sleep in another room. Any observations or comments?
 
#2 ·
No attachment to binkies or pacifiers here. She has a doll and a teddy bear that she will sometimes ask for when going to bed, but not always, and that only started about a month ago (she's 22 mos). ALL the kids and babies at her afternoon day care have a binky or pacifier. I didn't take her day care until she was 12 mos and then only for 2 hours 3 times a week.
 
#3 ·
I think this is such an interesting question. My dd1 (28 months) has never had any attachment item, other than her dad and me. No pacifiers, blankets, teddies, etc.

She'll sometimes take different things to bed with her (she does sleep on her own), but it doesn't seem to matter to her which particular stuffed animal she has. And most of the time, she doesn't bother.

I went back to work when she was 6 1/2 months old, but she was with her dad most of the time that I was working (I think she was with her childminder for about 10 hours/month on average). She's still nursing, which I'm sure helps as well.

Would love to know others' experiences.
 
#4 ·
My first ds was very attached to his pacifier and blankie (he still, at 4, will not sleep with out his special blankie) my second ds is only attached to me. I did go back to work after my first ds was born, but he was not in daycare - he was taken care of by my dh. Both kids were AP'd - family bed, EBF, in arms all the time. . .
 
#5 ·
No attachment objects here, just mama & papa (19 months old). Well and her thumb
but that's always there.... She has never been in daycare, I work at home so she has had babysitters here at home, with me in every hour when needed. I haven't seen her really get attached to anything other than us, even toys.

Kim
 
#7 ·
I'm not going to include my 1yo here, because I think it's too early to tell about him. But as for my other two (3yo and 6yo), one has never been attached to anything but me, and the other has been attached to a series of objects. Security Object Serial Monogamy, perhaps! From the time she was about 18 months, she's been attached to various dolls and stuffed animals. So, I am agreeing with Peggy, that it must have to do with the personality of the involved children.
 
#10 ·
My 5yo never used a pacifier or was attached to any particular object. I did go back to work only 6 weeks after she was born
but my oder sister took care of her for me until she started kindergarden this past fall, so she wasn't in a true "daycare" environment. My sister practices AP, although she doesn't really know it. I tried to explain it to her, but it's hard to do so in Spanish. She just barks back "what do you think I've been doing with all these kids all this time, letting them cry?"
Anyway, DS is waaay to little to know, but so far he doesn't use a pacifier. He does suck his thumb though....not sure if that counts
 
#12 ·
My oldest was really attached to his pacifier, my 3 yr old is attached to his pacifier and a small silky/flannel blanket. And my 1 yr old is attached to his Mama.
We currently co sleep with the 2 youngest but my oldest now 9 did co sleep with us when he was younger.
 
#13 ·
Nothing for my 3. Just mom and dad. Our families don't understand this and we are inundated with blankies and stuffed animals.........
We just tried saying something about it recently (please, no stuffed animals for Easter) and we were told how rude we are.

I just give the stuff away. Not the handmade blankets, but all the dust collectors, yes
 
#14 ·
Quote:
Originally posted by Mellymama
I have noticed these children are seperated from their mom during the day or sleep in another room. Any observations or comments?
What does being separated from their mom during the day have to do with them being attachment parented?
:
 
#15 ·
Well I am definately not an expert on all AP kids. I do know that mine have not had any security objects thus far. My DD is 8 yrs and my Ds is 11 months.
I however, sucked my thumb and slept with a security blanket until I was 18!
Let's just say that my Mom was DEFINATLEY not AP.
I didn't stop sucking my thumb till I got pregnant!
:
 
#16 ·
I agree with Peggy and the others who said this usually has to do with the child's personality, although I realize some kids who are suffering from a lack of attachment do cling to "mommy replacements."

My siblings and I were raised by attachment parents. Some of us had objects, some didn't. I was very shy, and I did have an object: a little dolly that I carried everywhere with me.
 
#17 ·
This is an interesting topic. My ds never had an attachment to any object until after his brother was born. Now he wants to take his trains, his football and various other things to bed with him. I think having to share his beloved mommy has been hard for him and he is seeking extra comfort and security by forming attachments to his most beloved toys. I agree with those who said that temperment is a factor. He is definitely a sensitive little boy. It is kind of bittersweet for me. I am sad that he needs to do this but happy that he has found a way to comfort himself. He still nurses and gets as much of my attention as possible, but the life he knew before baby brother was born is changed forever (sigh)!
 
#18 ·
i guess im not really "ap" but we never cry it out
and we never spank ( i think lance had two spankings in his life, but they weren't really spankings....diaper on...two swats)

anyway.

nothing special in way of objects for Alex (7 months)

Lance (now 9) always likes to take something from our house when we go somewhere

my college class called this a "Transitional Object"...helping in going from one place to another bringing stability.

it is never the same thing twice. he just likes to bring something with him.
 
#21 ·
My dd didn't have any object untill she was 2 1/2 and then became very attached to her "dinor", a dinosaur blanky. She still sleeps with it and we are on #2 dinor (I found one at Goodwill right after dinor #1 fell apart).
 
#22 ·
Well, I have 4 'totally AP breastfed, worn, coslept, homeschooled' kids(13, 8, 4, 2) and 1 baby I babysit.
My oldest had an imaginary friend -Joggy and a Grover puppet he carried everywhere.
Next son was a hair twirler and twirled his or anyone elses hair for comfort and security.
Next son had 'panda' he stills holds his panda beanie baby in his hand while he sleeps. (ALso has imaginary friend-Jerry)
Daughter has a plush doggy "wags' and diddles a mole on my shoulder for comfort (nursing or not it calms her).
Baby has a silkie she strokes and a suckifier she needs to help her through tough days.
IMHO Lovies and blankies go more with child's personality then parenting method.
 
#25 ·
What an interesting thread! My two didn't have security objects as babies or toddlers, but they each take a toy with them whenever we leave the house. ("We might get bored!") My 3 year old takes a different toy every time, but my 5 year old is really into one of her baby dolls who seems to go pretty much every place with us. It seems to be more of a fear of boredom thing that a security thing.

We also have lots of imaginary friends and animals around here
 
#26 ·
He does like to hold something while he nurses to sleep, and he has preferred objects for that, but he doesn't carry any one thing in particular around with him or want it when he is upset. His current favorite "toy" is a spatula (one of three or four we have) - "Pah! Pah!"
 
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