Why can't she like Polly Pocket and other froo froo stuff? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 186 Old 07-24-2007, 02:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have a three year old daycare child who until she came to me, had never seen a character before. Disney or otherwise.

But, since she is now in the company of other girls, she has decided that she loves the frilly stuff.

We have dress up clothes, but she only likes the dresses, and sparkley shoes, and the purple purse. I have dog costumes, and doctor kits, but she doesn't have any interest in them.

She loves to sit at the counter and play Polly Pockets. I have blocks and legos, but she doesn't have any interest in them.

I bought a bunch of flannel wipes from a WAHM to wash their hands and faces after lunch. TWO of them have disney princesses on them. Those are the ones she asks for.

The other girls have Dora T-shirts. She wants one too. The other girls have disney Panties, she only has plain white, and wants the "pretty panties".

Mom says "That isn't who we are" She would like me to discourage her from playing with the girly things, and encourage her to play with the dr kit, and the building toys. She has even hinted that I get rid of all the "girly toys". I said, "sure, if you replace them with toys that are more to your liking".
(she would like me to buy a train set and table) But, I am certainly not going to go out and buy a train set and train table. I don't have space for a train table anyway.
What on earth is wrong with this child having a natural attraction to shiny girly stuff? It's not like I have Barbies, or princess dolls here. We don't watch much TV, and when we do, it's usually sing-a-long songs.

Why is it so bad for her to love this stuff???
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#2 of 186 Old 07-24-2007, 02:51 PM
 
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It sounds like a forbidden fruit issue. It must be disconcerting for the mom to have worked so hard to steer her dd away from commercial/"typical girly" things to now have her somewhat obsessed with them. I have had parent reactions similar to this(although usually with the boys playing dress up What has worked with me is to rotate the toys Pollys on a Monday blocks on Tuesday etc. That way all the kids get a bit of time with all the different toys. It also appeases the mom with out you having to exert too much effort.
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#3 of 186 Old 07-24-2007, 03:10 PM
 
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I can understand not wanting your kids to get caught up in commercialism or hoping to raise them without pressuring them toward "girl" or "boy" toys, but some kids just are drawn to those thing. My DD saw a dora doll in the store when she was nine months old and had never seen the show and FELL in love with that doll. Some kids just like stuff for whatever reason.

If it is a gender neutral thing, well you can try to raise your kids in that way, but sometimes girls are going to go fru fru and boys are going to go for the tractors (and the other way too) You can't be so ridgid in what YOU want for your kids that you don't let them be who they are.
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#4 of 186 Old 07-24-2007, 03:32 PM
 
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I don't think it is bad at all. As long as there is a variety of toys and you aren't "pushing" one type or another on the child, I don't see the problem. The child herself has chosen what she likes and I am sure she will change her mind many, many times as she grows up. Some girls love the girly stuff and some don't. I am not into most girly things, but my sister is much more so and we were raised about the same.

Having no girly toys would be silly IMO. As long as you have a good variety, then I think you are fine. And if you can do some kind of toy rotation as the other poster suggested, at least for a more structured hour or so, that may help as well.

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#5 of 186 Old 07-24-2007, 04:03 PM
 
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I feel you. I take issue with (I was a nanny and pre-school teacher for years) parents who do this imposition thing. "What I like and approve of must be what my child is drawn to... and I would like to eliminate anything that isn't in keeping with what my preferences are..." The whole girly-stuff-debaucle just gets old. So you were a tom-boy... so you liked climbing trees and playing with a science kit... that does not mean your little girl will follow in your foot steps.

My mom told us all about what a tom-boy she was, ad nauseum, throughout our childhood... refused to let me have Barbies or pink things until I was about 10... berated me for liking girly things to the point of brainwashing. Dd loves pricesses... she thought dresses were called princesses for a few months. "I want to wear a princess, please..." I'm not so into pink for myself, but she can go nuts on pink for all I care. I don't love the Disney Princesses... but if dd gets into them a bit, I'm not gonna freak out.

Stick with your approach; that if that mom wants to replace the toys she is suggesting you dispose of, fine. Maybe even go one further and try theme weeks/days. Rotate out the toys. One week is about castles, knights, princesses, etc... the books, toys, games, etc all center around the theme... then the next week it's Jungle theme... all animals, Africa, the Amazon, etc... kwim? Maybe she'd be more easy-going if the play were structured like that, so that it wasn't such a constant presence...
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#6 of 186 Old 07-24-2007, 04:03 PM
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She's drawn to it because she's never seen it before.

That being said, I feel for the mom. Frankly, I don't want my daughter playing with that kind of stuff, either.
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#7 of 186 Old 07-24-2007, 04:11 PM
 
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To be perfectly honest, I sort of get it. I would prefer not to send DD to a daycare that had character items. (DD's doesn't have any.) I just hate the character obsession and Disney is not part of our value system. It would annoy the heck out of me if DD was begging me for princess panties.

I wouldn't have an issue with generic dress-up or doll play, but I am really trying to avoid the media-driven gimmee-gimmees.

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#8 of 186 Old 07-24-2007, 04:13 PM
 
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She's drawn to it because she's never seen it before.

That being said, I feel for the mom. Frankly, I don't want my daughter playing with that kind of stuff, either.
So how are you planning on getting around this problem yourself (I swear no snark just curious)?
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#9 of 186 Old 07-24-2007, 04:16 PM
 
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I agree with loraxc. I totally support princess play -- love it, cuz dd loves it. But I HATE disney princess stuff. The rampant consumerism of it, the commercialization, all of it. I would not like it if our dcp had character stuff either. Girly/princess, fine no problem.
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#10 of 186 Old 07-24-2007, 04:23 PM
 
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I feel for the mom too. When I was selecting daycare and preschool I did look at the toy selection to see if they were the kind of toys I like. By that I mean natural materials, non-commercial, open for creative play, etc. DD has very few character items or plastic toys, most were gifts that will eventually "go on vacation". She does enjoy playing with those items when she is with other kids. After she saw her cousin's brightly colored plastic dollhouse, she wanted one, even though she has a wooden one at home.

Seeing a bunch of Polly Pockets might have been a deal-breaker for me, if I was evaluating a new care provider. So would seeing a box of plastic Transformers or happy meal toys. It is more about the plastic and advertising tie-ins than whether they are girl or boy toys. But really, I don't get worked up over it. DDs current preschool does have some plastic items. The current favorite character toy there is My Little Pony, from the teacher's daughter's own stash. I didn't see those on my visits before enrolling her. Too bad dd's ponies went on vacation : (they'll be back soon for a visit - I'm not totally mean) DD much prefers the plastic frogs and turtles anyway.

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#11 of 186 Old 07-24-2007, 04:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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To be perfectly honest, I sort of get it. I would prefer not to send DD to a daycare that had character items. (DD's doesn't have any.) I just hate the character obsession and Disney is not part of our value system. It would annoy the heck out of me if DD was begging me for princess panties.

I wouldn't have an issue with generic dress-up or doll play, but I am really trying to avoid the media-driven gimmee-gimmees.

The only character item I have is the two Disney princess washrags.

The Polly Pockets were left over from my daughter. (It's not like I have an unlimited supply of money to replace all of my toys)

I do rotate the toys. In fact, the polly pockets only come out in the summer when I have the grade schoolers.

The rest of it comes over on the bodies of other children.

But, this mom has issues with ANYTHING that people would consider girly. Just the fact that she likes the dress-up sparkly shoes drives her insane.

One of the other girls has a cute little Gymnastics outfit. It's purple with an irridescant silver front that kind of changes colors. Then, it has a little purple skirt. This child has Gymnastics on Tuesdays, so i change her into it after naptime. The other little girl is just wild about it. She wants it so bad. I almost feel sorry for her because you can see how bad she wants that thing.

Her Mom tells her "not in a million years". (the kiddo keeps asking though LOL)

I just don't GET what is wrong with a girl liking those froo froo things. It's almost like a taboo to some people. This same Mom is perfectly O.K with her son liking these things though. HE walks out in the girly dressup shoes, and THAT is cute.
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#12 of 186 Old 07-24-2007, 05:10 PM
 
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I just don't GET what is wrong with a girl liking those froo froo things. It's almost like a taboo to some people. This same Mom is perfectly O.K with her son liking these things though. HE walks out in the girly dressup shoes, and THAT is cute.
Now that makes it strange, IMO. How the heck does she explain that to her kids? Brother may play with the dress shoes but you can't? Weird.


Really... I am drowning in pink froofroo stuff from my girly girl (who some have expressed surprise that I spawned ) and would MUCH prefer that it would all go away. But that's who she IS, it wouldn't be right to try to change it. So I keep the opinions to myself. Most character things I won't buy, but if she gets them for gifts or handmedowns I don't forbid it.
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#13 of 186 Old 07-24-2007, 05:16 PM
 
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I can't relate to this as a parent yet, but as a child who desperately wanted barbie. My mom and dad tried to do the gender nuetral thing with us (three girls). No frilly dresses, no sparkly anything, and no barbie. and what did I want, pink frilly everything and barbie. I really do think not letting me have it at all made me want it more. I still wish I had that stuff as a kid.

It is hard, where do you draw the line? I hate all of that commercialized crap - but will witholding all of it from my child make him a better person?
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#14 of 186 Old 07-24-2007, 05:18 PM
 
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I just don't GET what is wrong with a girl liking those froo froo things. It's almost like a taboo to some people. This same Mom is perfectly O.K with her son liking these things though. HE walks out in the girly dressup shoes, and THAT is cute.
See, that's not fair. And I know I may be alone in this, : but the girly froo froo aversion and a parent's attempts to impose that same ethic onto a small child is totally covert hostility and conditioning, and I'll even go as far as to say it's bordering on coercion. Especially encouraging an enjoyment of dress-up, etc, in the boy but dismissing it in the girl... that'll make her resent her brother along with her folks! Trying to build future feminists by brainwashing little girls into 'anti-commercialism' via girly froo froo aversion is manipulative and will likely backfire.

I totally agree that the Disney Pricesses are an insidous media-driven money making machine... ok. But if our reactions to commercialism come from an educated, tolerant, informed position, then our children will see that. Dd loves the Princesses... she was given a Cinderella dvd, and some Barbie Princess things too... jammies and plate/dish set. She has a generic princess tent, and sparkly shoes. She also has a fondness for cows that goes to point of sympathetic obsession. I will nurture her loves and desires in a healthy fashion... My hope is that she will never covet something to the point of fanaticism, because she will have access to the things that interest her, even if they don't interest me... and in a healthy, teachable way.

If mom doesn't like the toys you offer, and how you structure your daycare, she doesn't have to keep her dd there. You have no say in how other parents dress their children... if it's such a big deal, she should take it up with them.
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#15 of 186 Old 07-24-2007, 05:21 PM
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So how are you planning on getting around this problem yourself (I swear no snark just curious)?
Not offended at all. I actually have no problem with my dd playing with girly 'stuff'. (Although to be honest she ignores her dolls in favor of her brother's trucks, while her brother goes and plays with her dolls. Go figure )

What I do object to is...commercialized 'girly' stuff. Disney princesses, for example *winces*. Let's just say, as much as I LOVE WDW, the Disney Princess phenomenon is not something I want my child to embrace as healthy.

I don't like commericalized boy-ey stuff either....you know...emblazoned superheros on powerwheels, that kind of thing.
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#16 of 186 Old 07-24-2007, 05:33 PM
 
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While I might dislike the girly-girl stuff to an extent, it isn't my place to reverse engineer gender by disallowing my child to make crucial decisions about their own self.

So, for example, I see women and men like myself go to far. It is okay to adopt the OTHER gender's stereotypes but not okay to adopt the mainstream stereotypes.

Why do so few people not understand the deeply offensive and downright abuisive nature of wordlessly telling one's child that they are WRONG and even contemptible to identify as a girl or a boy as that child sees fit?

We seem to know it is wrong when a boy is being told not to wear ponytails - but if our boy is toy truck crazy and our girl wants to wear pink! Oh, the horrors! It is the same damn thing.

I think that girls and boys who are pushing back on their pushy parents (like me) are STRONG, and to be admired for being willing to stand up for themselves and their personal identity.
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#17 of 186 Old 07-24-2007, 05:45 PM
 
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My DD loves to dress up in all her froo-froo finery! She even wears it all to town. She loves all things girly. That is just her. But she also loves to play with her brothers stuff and they come and play teaparty with her. I just dont get it... Even in our "Redneck" family playing with toys is just that. They are just toys. I get so tired of parents trying to create the "perfect citizen" that they forget that they are just kids and kids like to play and pretend... Makes me sad for the kids...
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#18 of 186 Old 07-24-2007, 06:24 PM
 
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This is a daycare right? Other people pay for their children to come there too, not just this little girl, right?

IMO this mom is way out of line and has absolutely no right to ask you to remove toys because she doesn't want her dd playing with them. Some of those toys may be favorites for other children who attend..it's not fair to them. It's also not fair for her to ask you to discourage her dd from playing with certain items..that's just : .

If mom wants to keep those particular items out of her own home and discourage her dd from any type of stereotypical "girl play" while at home more power to her...but unless she's planning on raising her dd soley in a completely likeminded community she's going to have to come to grips with the fact that A) her dd is a girl B) some girls just like "girly" things and C) touching a Polly Pocket or putting on a pair of sparkly shoes isn't going to cause any serious or lasting harm to her dd.
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#19 of 186 Old 07-24-2007, 07:09 PM
 
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I just don't GET what is wrong with a girl liking those froo froo things. It's almost like a taboo to some people. This same Mom is perfectly O.K with her son liking these things though. HE walks out in the girly dressup shoes, and THAT is cute.
Yep, makes no sense. She really cannot expect you to remove all the girl toys from your daycare. I wouldn't even do it if she offered to replace them. I mean, her own DS would be so heartbroken without sparkly shoes to wear! A PP said it is probably a forbidden fruit thing. The girl just wants sparkly dress up clothes and a baby. So what? My DS also likes sparkly clothes and his "baby"

I have tried to keep a balanced mix of girly/boyish toys in my house, but there is inevitably more boy stuff (DS is older, has many tonkas from relatives) I never believed that gender stereotypes could be so cut and dried at a young age (whether they are born that way, or just watch closely) until DD, who has never been in daycare or anything, put the transformers in the stroller, strapped them in, snuggled them up and drove them around the living room, singing lullabyes. She's 14 months.
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#20 of 186 Old 07-25-2007, 08:17 AM
 
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While I might dislike the girly-girl stuff to an extent, it isn't my place to reverse engineer gender by disallowing my child to make crucial decisions about their own self.

So, for example, I see women and men like myself go to far. It is okay to adopt the OTHER gender's stereotypes but not okay to adopt the mainstream stereotypes.

Why do so few people not understand the deeply offensive and downright abuisive nature of wordlessly telling one's child that they are WRONG and even contemptible to identify as a girl or a boy as that child sees fit?

We seem to know it is wrong when a boy is being told not to wear ponytails - but if our boy is toy truck crazy and our girl wants to wear pink! Oh, the horrors! It is the same damn thing.

I think that girls and boys who are pushing back on their pushy parents (like me) are STRONG, and to be admired for being willing to stand up for themselves and their personal identity.
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#21 of 186 Old 07-25-2007, 08:38 AM
 
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This is a daycare right? Other people pay for their children to come there too, not just this little girl, right?

IMO this mom is way out of line and has absolutely no right to ask you to remove toys because she doesn't want her dd playing with them. Some of those toys may be favorites for other children who attend..it's not fair to them. It's also not fair for her to ask you to discourage her dd from playing with certain items..that's just : .

If mom wants to keep those particular items out of her own home and discourage her dd from any type of stereotypical "girl play" while at home more power to her...but unless she's planning on raising her dd soley in a completely likeminded community she's going to have to come to grips with the fact that A) her dd is a girl B) some girls just like "girly" things and C) touching a Polly Pocket or putting on a pair of sparkly shoes isn't going to cause any serious or lasting harm to her dd.



The damage to the child's self-esteem will be worse than the exposure to froo-froo IMO.
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#22 of 186 Old 07-25-2007, 09:14 AM
 
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Mom says "That isn't who we are" She would like me to discourage her from playing with the girly things, and encourage her to play with the dr kit, and the building toys. She has even hinted that I get rid of all the "girly toys". I said, "sure, if you replace them with toys that are more to your liking".
(she would like me to buy a train set and table) But, I am certainly not going to go out and buy a train set and train table. I don't have space for a train table anyway.
What on earth is wrong with this child having a natural attraction to shiny girly stuff? It's not like I have Barbies, or princess dolls here. We don't watch much TV, and when we do, it's usually sing-a-long songs.

Why is it so bad for her to love this stuff???
Well, imho, I don't think you have any right to determine what is right or wrong for this family. I don't think you have any obligation to buy toys specifically for this little girl, but I think that as a caregiver you should respect the parents.

I can't believe that people here are actually saying that you should ignore what the parent is asking and let the little girl have whatever *you* think is appropriate. Perhaps you don't know the reasons behind the parents' decisions, but it's also not your place to question it. It could be a cultural or religious reason... or it could just be that that is how they want to raise their kids.

It doesn't matter why it is "so bad for her to love this stuff." It's not your place to question it. Just as it is not your place to question if she wants to give breastmilk instead of formula, co-sleep or use a crib, cloth or 'sposie diaper. I'm not trying to be snarky, I just think that it's a personal child-rearing decision that shouldn't be questioned... one that as the child's caregiver, you should try to respect to the best of your ability (obviously not to the extent that you spend your own money to bow to her wishes, but as she asked... to dissuade her dd from playing with the toys she doesn't want her playing with).
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#23 of 186 Old 07-25-2007, 09:45 AM
 
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Well, imho, I don't think you have any right to determine what is right or wrong for this family. I don't think you have any obligation to buy toys specifically for this little girl, but I think that as a caregiver you should respect the parents.

I can't believe that people here are actually saying that you should ignore what the parent is asking and let the little girl have whatever *you* think is appropriate. Perhaps you don't know the reasons behind the parents' decisions, but it's also not your place to question it. It could be a cultural or religious reason... or it could just be that that is how they want to raise their kids.

It doesn't matter why it is "so bad for her to love this stuff." It's not your place to question it. Just as it is not your place to question if she wants to give breastmilk instead of formula, co-sleep or use a crib, cloth or 'sposie diaper. I'm not trying to be snarky, I just think that it's a personal child-rearing decision that shouldn't be questioned... one that as the child's caregiver, you should try to respect to the best of your ability (obviously not to the extent that you spend your own money to bow to her wishes, but as she asked... to dissuade her dd from playing with the toys she doesn't want her playing with).
I see your point, but on the other hand I don't think it's the OP's job to be controlling. And I see the parents in this case as controlling. Personally, I'd let the kid play with what she wanted and the parents could find another provider if they wanted someone to be that controlling.

I can see not liking a day care provider for having a bunch of commerical tie-in products, but for having sparkly dress-up clothes? And just not wanting the girl to play with anything girly? I don't see any relationship between that decision and breastmilk/formula or cloth/sposie. To try to control a child's personality and interests really bugs me. Children should be encouraged to find their authentic selves and celebrated for who they naturally are. I guess if that makes me judgmental, so be it.
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#24 of 186 Old 07-25-2007, 09:57 AM
 
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Well, having in-laws in a muslim country, I can *certainly* see why "sparkly" clothes might be discouraged for cultural reasons. In 100 different ways, we, as parents, guide our children on their paths to find their personality. Like it or not, it's not all nature... there's a lot of nurture in the final product that are our adult children.

This mother is paying for childcare... her wishes should be respected. Period. This is exactly the reason I swore my dd would never go to day care. It's obvious that a parent's wishes are blatantly ignored and questioned when someone (a caregiver) believes differently. I *do* see a connection between this and diapering or feeding... a parent has a certain way they want to raise their child (they have decided what they think is best for their family) and it is being questioned. What if the OP was saying, "what the hell... I know formula is healthy for the baby and this person wants me to feed the baby breastmilk... and you can't even MICROWAVE it, so I have to spend all this time dealing with heating it up without destroying the nutrients in the milk... damn, I'm just going to give formula. I mean, what is so wrong with formula!?!" We would ALL be up in arms about it. How is this any different? It's what this family has chosen to be best for them.
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#25 of 186 Old 07-25-2007, 10:15 AM
 
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Originally Posted by velochic View Post
This mother is paying for childcare... her wishes should be respected. Period.
The mother made a choice in this daycare , and she can't demand that the provider changes her polices and buys new toys. I think for all the talk of respecting child's wishes on this board, there is something to be said for not ripping toys out of kids' hands...

I can use cloth dipers that a parent left me, I use the healthy snack that a parent left me, but I can't force a kid to not like pink dresses!

If I don't approve of certain toys in my house - I can make them "dissapear" after the kid goes to bed. As a daycare provider, I can't buy a stash of new toys for every child that comes in. If this is important to the parent, they should discuss it upfront. I hope you are not suggesting taking every froofroo pink thing out of this child's hands as soon as she picks it up? And saying, "Well... all the other kids can play with those toys, but here is your box, and don't you touch anything else!" :

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#26 of 186 Old 07-25-2007, 10:50 AM
 
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She's drawn to it because she's never seen it before.

That being said, I feel for the mom. Frankly, I don't want my daughter playing with that kind of stuff, either.

Yeah, I felt that way too until my dd turned into a major girly-girl when she was about 2.5 years old. It was all her own choosing, so I really didn't have any control over it. That type of thing is usually a phase. Now that dd is 5, she still likes to dress like a fairy sometimes, or sit at her little vanity and put on sparkly powder and chapstick. That said, ds who is 3 also likes to dress like a fairy and sit at the vanity and put on powder and chapstick. He also loves to have his nails painted, whereas dd doesn't. He says he loves pink. He's also one of the most "boyish" little boys I've ever seen. Dd also likes to play tee-ball, doctor, museum, and variety of other imaginary games. It all balances out eventually.

OP: I would tell the child's mother that you like to keep a nice balance of toys for ALL of the children to play with.
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#27 of 186 Old 07-25-2007, 10:51 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Oriole
and she can't demand that the provider changes her polices and buys new toys
Oriole, why don't you go back and actually read what I posted:

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Originally Posted by velochic View Post
I don't think you have any obligation to buy toys specifically for this little girl, but I think that as a caregiver you should respect the parents.

... you should try to respect to the best of your ability (obviously not to the extent that you spend your own money to bow to her wishes, but as she asked... to dissuade her dd from playing with the toys she doesn't want her playing with).
I never once said anything at all about buying new toys. Why do people misquote others to try to make their own points? Make them on your own merits.

And yes, I am saying take these things out of the little girl's hands. It's the wishes of the parent and not *AT ALL* something that the daycare provider should question. If that's what the parent wants, that's the rule. It's always the parent's prerogative to switch day care providers and in this case, if I were her, I would. Obviously the caretaker is blatantly going against her wishes. It's not our place to question the way this woman is raising her daughter. Nor is it the daycare providers. She needs to either concede to the parent's wishes or ask them to take their business elsewhere.
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#28 of 186 Old 07-25-2007, 10:56 AM
 
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I honestly think it's too much to even ask her to dissuade the child from playing with what she wants. They hired a day care provider, not someone to police what toys their daughter likes. I wouldn't spank a child if the parents wanted me to, and I wouldn't control a child to the point of saying what available toys she can play with either. How would the child feel watching everyone else play with what they want while she's not allowed to play with some things? I don't see that as being a day care provider's responsibility at all.
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#29 of 186 Old 07-25-2007, 11:04 AM
 
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I honestly think it's too much to even ask her to dissuade the child from playing with what she wants. They hired a day care provider, not someone to police what toys their daughter likes. I wouldn't spank a child if the parents wanted me to, and I wouldn't control a child to the point of saying what available toys she can play with either. How would the child feel watching everyone else play with what they want while she's not allowed to play with some things? I don't see that as being a day care provider's responsibility at all.
Turn that around... what if someone were spanking your child and in your house you had a strict "no spanking" rule. How is this any different? Would it be too much to ask the day care provider to *not* spank? It's a policy of your house and she would be going against your wishes.

If I had a family that asked me to spank, I would simply say that I'm not able to hit a child and that they need to have someone else care for the child.

Bottom line for me... if a daycare provider didn't respect my wishes (I am paying her to care for my children the same way *I* would care for them... I'm not paying her to raise them as her own), I would switch caretakers.

BTW - dd has never been in daycare and I've never cared for any other children.
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#30 of 186 Old 07-25-2007, 11:07 AM
 
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I would tell the mother that I was not comfortable dissuading any of the children from playing with any of the toys, and that she was welcome to find another caregiver if that was a problem. There are a lot of things that I wouldn't do as a caregiver because i don't feel it's healthy - I wouldn't feed a baby on a strict schedule, I would't let a baby cry to sleep, I wouldn't spank, etc. These things are not only (IMO) not healthy for the child in question, but they aren't healthy for the other kids that have to see it - Jest like it wouldn't be healthy for the other kids to hear this child be chastized (even gently) for playing with the very same toys that the other children are playing with.


There are toys that I wouldn't want my kdis playing with (guns, for example). If I walked into a daycare and saw kids running around fake shooting with toy guns, I would assume that the DCP did not have the same values for raising children as I did, and would choose not to put my child there.
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